To relax or not to relax? That is the question

Natural or Relaxed Hair

Ok, ladies let’s talk about hair! If you have ethnic hair you will be able to relate. Some of us have been called nappy, some of us call our hair “bad hair”, some say you have thick hair, etc. Let us just embrace what we have. If you have ever asked yourself whether you should relax your hair or go natural, this might shed some light. Tackling the simple task of washing hair can be very time consuming without a relaxer. Detangling is a task in itself once it gets wet. Both relaxed and natural hair have advantages and disadvantages.

Having ethnic hair allows us to be versatile with the type of hair styles we create. Even though we can do a lot with this hair texture, the maintenance of it all is a challenge. Relaxed hair is easier to maintain and style but it can be flat and/or dry. I have had relaxed hair for as long as I can remember. I enjoyed being able to go out and not worry about the weather and if my hair got wet. It was also so simple and quick to wash and style my hair at home. Then I started to think about the harmful chemicals in relaxers. I started to wonder what it was doing to my body.

Relaxers can cause chemical burns to the scalp and/or skin, if not applied correctly. It can also do damage if left in for too long. You can also lose some hair as a result of improper application. Some of these products contain formaldehyde. If you have ever heard of formaldehyde, you know that this is probably not something you want in your hair. I’m surprised I still have hair left with the many years I have used relaxers.

On the other hand, wearing natural hair is no picnic either. It kinks up at the slightest amount of moisture in the air. You know that thing called HUMIDITY! Such an ugly word. 🙂 Depending on where you live in the country humidity can be a year-round thing. I would see some women leaving their scarf on to walk into work and then combing out their hair once inside. It takes a lot to keep natural hair intact.

Don’t get me wrong, there are harmful chemicals in other hair products that we use on a daily basis. Aerosol sprays contain harmful chemicals and other products can cause breakage on the hair. Some shampoo’s have harmful chemicals too.

We do have other options for our hair other than relaxing. Please don’t curse me out if you have a relaxer, I am not picking on anyone. We all have our reasons and we do what is best for our budget and our time schedule. It is a choice.

Let’s explore some other options and see which one fits you. As for me, I have stopped relaxing my hair for about 2 1/2 years and I am still getting used to how long it takes to get it to look halfway decent. I almost went back to relaxing. I am glad I changed my mind, even though it takes me longer to wash, condition and blow dry or wet set my hair. Right now, it is the best option for me.

Natural Hair

Natural hair is just that, no messy jheri curl juice (like back in the 80s), no caustic chemical relaxer, just what grows naturally from your scalp. The good thing is that there are different ways to wear natural hair. You can cut it low, twist it, braid it, wear it in an afro, wear it in the natural curly pattern or flat iron it for a straight look. If you want to have big hair, a fro is always a good choice. It gives lots of volume to hair. It also gives the woman who wears it some attitude!!

Wearing natural hair requires some extra time and patience. Of course, we must remember to moisturize and condition our hair. Very important step is to moisturize, moisturize and what… MOISTURIZE. Yes, that’s right! If we let our hair get too dry, it will cause breakage and look dull. Another tip to prevent breakage is to keep the ends trimmed. Trimming the ends keeps the hair from getting tangled and coming out with regular brushing and/or combing.

The bad part about wearing natural hair is that it is time consuming. Just to wash natural hair takes twice as long as it would if it were relaxed. Also, with natural hair you have to be careful not to get it wet. If it is raining outside we must have an umbrella or hood to cover our hair. Also, we have to be careful not to get it wet in the shower. Natural hair is a nightmare if your scalp sweats a lot too. It makes the roots and edges start to curl up and look nappy. You know the thing called, snap back! Who wants that?! Edge control gel is your friend!! Natural hair is not for those who do not have time or patience. It requires more trips to the salon, just to keep it looking fresh.

Let’s look at other things we can do with our hair instead of relaxing

• Wigs

Wigs have come a long way. You can purchase virtually any style you want. The options are endless. Some wigs can be pricey, depending on the type of hair you buy but there are affordable choices. Wigs are also an option for women who may be affected by alopecia or a similar problem with hair loss. Believe it or not, women are affected by hair loss too. It is not just a man’s problem. Hair loss can either be hereditary or can be the result of how we manage our hair. Wigs are fun if you like to change your look often. You can find wigs in different lengths, colors and styles. Wigs are also a quick option when you don’t have a lot of time to spend on getting your hair ready. Wearing wigs also gives you a chance to try out a new hairstyle, before actually getting it cut.

Just a side note to treat your wig right. When you take it off don’t just throw it on the dresser or in the closet. Talk to it and give it a name. Once we name something, it becomes more personal. Be sure to detangle it with fingers and smooth it out before putting it to bed.

• Weaves

Weaves can protect the hair, it’s what is referred to as one form of protective styling. These styles may take about 1 1/2 hours to install but is worth the time. If you get a basic sew in, your hair is braided down and then the extra hair sewn in. The time a weave will last depends greatly on how it is maintained, and the type of hair used. A touch up may also be needed at the salon. Try to keep it from getting wet, unless washing. Also, keep the tangles out. Weaves are also available in straight styles, wavy, curly, etc.

• Extensions/Braids

Adding hair for braided styles is another option. You can pick the color you want, and you can pick how long or short you want the style to be. You can also style the braids in cornrows, twists, box braids, goddess braids, etc. Depending on how intricate the style is, it may take about 3-5 hours to install. If you get microbraids, plan for an additional 2-3 hours or longer. Putting braids in can last a minimum of 4-8 weeks. We have to remember to moisturize. It is important to remember that with braids, it affects our edges. The longer you keep the braids in and the more frequent you get hair braided will start to make the edges go away. It will affect your hairline, and not in a good way. It will start to recede. We must keep this in mind. There are so many cute styles and braids are so convenient, but the weight of the extensions and the tightness is what can cause problems in this area.

• Hair Straightening/Blowout

If you are more into straight styles try hair straightening with either a flat iron or get a blowout. Hair can be straightened by using a flat iron or any heat appliance. Be mindful to use a heat protectant with any heat styling. You can achieve the look of relaxed hair without using the chemicals. Getting a blowout requires a lot of heat to the hair. This kind of styling can damage hair over time. Even though a blowout makes the hair look so silky and makes it flow. it is best to limit blowouts to prevent heat damage. The result of getting hair blown out is beautiful but like most styles comes with the risk of damage.

Relaxed Hair

Relaxed hair requires applying chemicals to hair. You can purchase a kit from the beauty supply store to apply at home or you can go to the salon for a professional look. Relaxers come in lye and no-lye formulas. Some of these relaxers have formaldehyde. You know, the stuff that funeral homes use. Depending on your budget, applying a relaxer at home is the cheaper way to go. Please follow directions included in the box.

Relaxing hair only needs a touch up about every 6-8 weeks. Also, it is easy to wash, condition and moisturize. It does not require a lot of time just to keep it maintained. Relaxed hair is also very manageable. You don’t have the worries about humidity and/or rain when outdoors. It is less of a hassle. At night, it helps to wrap the hair and tie it down. Using a silk scarf is best because cotton will take the hair out.

Conclusion

If you have ever asked yourself if you should relax your hair or not, you have to decide what method works best for you. I hope I have shed some light and helped you get closer to making the decision. There is no right or wrong way to wear your hair. It is a personal choice. I am just bringing some awareness to the good and bad of using relaxers. Yes, we pay the price for beauty. So, no matter what you choose, you are beautiful!