✴︎ Life is a Gift
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“Never forget to enjoy and bask in every moment that you are in.
Author Unknown
Back to basics, why representation is important takes a look at how we represent ourselves. I do not mean in a court of law but in general day to day life. We say so much without speaking a word. Just by how we present at the first outward appearance. Like it or not, we are judged before we utter a single word. However, I do not agree that we should be judged in this way, it does happen.
It brings to mind the saying, “do not judge a book by its cover”. I agree that one should not be judged by how we appear. Unfortunately, it does not work that way. People form an opinion of us within the first few minutes of meeting us even before we say our name. Which is why I think bringing it back to basics is important.
Take the time to iron or steam clothing before leaving the house. It doesn’t require a lot of time to do this. It is one of those small details that sometimes gets overlooked and seen as unimportant. Presenting yourself in ironed or steamed clothing sends the message that you do care and you took pride in how you represent yourself.
If you show up to an important meeting or appointment and are in wrinkled clothing, do you think you will be received well? Take the time. The person(s) you are meeting may perceive you as being lazy, unprepared, or incompetent.
Leave the bonnet behind when going outdoors. The bonnet, head scarf, head wrap, whatever you like to call it is meant to protect and preserve your hair while sleeping. Wearing this outdoors is not a good look. Just imagine you slept in the bonnet then go out shopping. When you get back home, you will sleep in that same bonnet and bring all those pollutants back into your house and into your bed.
It also sends the message that you weren’t too bothered or concerned with combing your hair or putting it in a ponytail. We want to be taken seriously and showing up anywhere but the hair salon or hospital with that bonnet on is not the way. Medical and religious reasons are excluded for the purpose of this post. Back to basics, take the time. Even if that bonnet matches your outfit, leave it at the house. This is not a fashion accessory.
Sleepwear like pajama pants is made for sleeping. So many people are outside wearing pajamas at restaurants, shopping, appointments, etc. You slept in those and went to an establishment and are going back into your home and will sleep in those same PJs. It only takes a few minutes to put on apparel meant for the outdoors. Yes, they are comfortable but when you are seen outdoors in PJs it sends the message that you just woke up and went out without the proper basics.
Although, we do not sleep in our bed slippers I have to add this to the list. Slippers like the fuzzy pink or black ones with the toes out are meant for the house. I know you just got your toes done and you want to show them off. Throw on some sandals or flip flops. Also, the cute fluffy animal slippers. Those slippers ae cute in the house not outdoors picking up all kinds of dirt and germs that you track back into the house.
The basics are simple and short steps we can take before presenting ourselves to the world. We are human and no one is perfect. We can bring it back to basics with these small details. There are times we will skip certain things for various reasons. We might not feel well, or wake up late for work, etc. We must give ourselves grace.
If you are ready to drop some ill talk or action on someone, stop and drop some good will or cheer instead. For example, if you are about to say something foul to someone, especially someone that you love or who loves you. Stop and say something nice instead. It can be so easy to take those closest to you for granted. Those closest to us, sometimes do not get the best of us. This is because we figure, I see this person on a daily basis, so I do not have to be on my best behavior or give my all.
If you are going to say something that you know is hurtful to your loved one, give a complement instead. Forget about the argument you just had. Let it be. After you have decided to say something nice and complementary, it will make the other person feel good and you will feel better as well. Try it. What do you have to lose? Ok, I will tell you. By saying something positive about someone, you lose stress and anxiety. Ill feelings that increase cortisol in our bodies. You want to release dopamine and endorphins, the feel-good hormones.
Lose the negativity and grudge feelings. Love rules over everything. Be slow to anger and quick to love. Becoming angry is so easy and that is exactly why we must challenge ourselves. Embrace love and forgiveness.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Please know that you are seen and appreciated for all that you contribute and do for your children. The dads who take the responsibility seriously and do what they need to, in support and love of their children. I hope you smile today and every day knowing in your heart that you are special, important, loved, needed and cherished.
Blended families exist and they can be rewarding but also come with some demands. Meaning, that the non-biological parent in the family may face some opposition when trying to discipline a child in the home. The child may feel like they do not have to abide by rules of someone who is not their biological parent. You know how defiant kids can be. So, that brings the question of what the rules are with discipline. Is it okay for a parent other than the biological mother or father to discipline a child?
One thing I think most of us can agree on is that children require discipline. The method of discipline varies greatly and is a personal preference. Nonetheless, it is a necessary part of a child’s growth and development.
Some families are blended, and some are strictly nuclear. As such, it creates a situation where the biological parent is either the mother or father but not both. I pose the question of whether or not it is okay for a man or woman other than the biological parent to discipline the child?
Let’s look at dads who take on the responsibility of another man’s child with his girlfriend or wife. Do you feel that he should have a say in what the child does and whereabouts of the child? Should he be concerned with things relating to household chores, school and extracurricular activities? At the very least, he should feel respected by the child, no matter what. After that I think if he helps support the child, he should be able to apply discipline strategies. Whether that means taking away privileges, punishment where they are restricted from certain activities or getting a beating.
In my opinion, I believe that the parents should come to an agreement and understanding of what that discipline should look like. And stand firmly on that without veering away from those rules. Of course, it will be different for every household but as long as the parents of the house are on the same page, I think it is possible for blended families to work and it can be so rewarding. What do you think?
The countdown is on. Only 1 week left to show those men how much they are appreciated. Do fathers get the credit they deserve? Fathers are very important and sometimes they do not get their deserved credit. People may say that they are supposed to be there for their children and take care of them. Indeed, but why not give them their flowers too?
Afterall, we all want to feel appreciated right? Yes, we do.
In honor of those special men, think about what they mean to you and the role they play in your life. What is special about your father that stands out and makes you want to extoll him? I’m sure you can come up with a few. Thinking about the moments in life that you and your father shared, how can you express your appreciation? Make sure that he knows what those moments mean to you. Additionally, remember to extend that gratitude long after June 16, 2024.
Is there is a memory or time that you most cherish with your father? It would be nice to recreate that moment and relive it all over again. If you cannot physically be with your dad, call him up and reminisce about that memory. I’m sure it would make him smile to know that you remembered it too and cherished the time just the same, if not more.
Dads don’t ask for much, they just want to know that their efforts are not in vain. It is nice to get a ‘thank you’ from someone. It lets them know how much they enjoyed an event or moment spent together. Although, we think they already know how we feel, nonetheless, say it anyway. Even if your dad is not be the sentimental type, and he likes gifts and/or gestures instead. Well, do that. He might want something as simple as watching a sporting event on television. He might want you to just spend time with him. And for the dads who like to receive gifts, make it possible for him. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant.
Do fathers get the credit they deserve? What are your thoughts on the subject? Leave a comment and share your opinion.
Father’s Day this year, in 2024 is on June 16th. You still have time. Do not forget about this celebration. Fathers are very important and are a much-needed part of society and family. Sometimes, they do not get the recognition and are not celebrated like they should be. There is time to change that.
Also, the month of June is Men’s Health Awareness Month. Urge the men in your life to get a checkup. Even if they feel fine. Some medical conditions do not show up by symptoms and they may feel ok. It is better to be safe than sorry.
Part 1 of the Father’s Day Series is about what qualities make up a good father. A loving man who demonstrates the love of their child, a good listener, the man who shows interest in their child’s goals in life. Discipline and structure are also important.
Is it the one who is there emotionally and physically? The one who listens and talks to their children. The man that attends extracurricular activities. The one who actually spends time with their children.
Or is it the one who provides financially. He is the one who can buy clothes and food. Provide a home. But he is not around. He doesn’t invest time and/or effort. The father who writes the check but is absent otherwise.
What do you think is more important?
Of course, the child’s basic needs should be met. Is it too much to ask that the father provide and be there emotionally?
Fortunately, there are men out there that do just that. It doesn’t matter if the child lives in the same household or not. The man makes an effort to see his children and provides financially too.
June 16th let’s not forget Father’s Day. The day is coming up, there is still time. Show the dads out there that they matter and are loved and appreciated.
