Month: July 2023

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Things You Never Say to a Woman

Don’t you dare say that!
Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

Things You Never Say to a Woman

It can be hard to know what things are okay and not okay to say to a woman. If there is any doubt about it, just keep it to yourself. I urge you not to do it! Some of these things may result in you getting a slap across the face or cursed out. The most important thing to remember is not to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. Just think about how you would feel if someone did or said these things to you? I’m giving these examples in humor but make no mistake, tread lightly.

When is your baby due? This is a major no-no. Only ask this question when you have heard it directly from the expectant mother. If you do not have first-hand knowledge of the fact that a woman is pregnant; keep your mouth shut! No one says anything about your beer belly. What about that?

Image by No-longer-here from Pixabay

Is that your real hair? What! Of course, it’s my real hair. Either I grew this organically or I bought it. Therefore, it makes it mine and real. If there is any question in your mind about it don’t let your curiosity get the best of you. As long as it looks good, it doesn’t matter if it was bought or grown.

Is that what you are wearing? First, be happy that we are gracing you with our company. Do not question our choice in outfit. It sets a bad tone for the rest of the evening. Second, let’s not mention, the times you have made some questionable choices in outfits. Just saying!

Any statement that starts with, “for a woman…”. Oh no, this is bad. You never want to preface anything with, “for a woman…”. What do you mean?!?! Example: for a woman, you are a good driver. Psst, there is this rumor going around that women are bad drivers. Can you believe that?!

This is a never do. Never touch a woman’s hair without permission. If you want to draw back a nub or two, just try it! We do not want you pawing through our hair, unless we invite you. A time commitment is involved to get our hair manageable and to our liking. Don’t think it’s open season to come over and start messing with it. Remember this.

Closing Thought

Lastly, I would also like to let women know that you never ask a question that you do not want the real answer to. You know the one that is often asked. “Does this dress make me look fat?” Don’t do it to yourself.

Hope you all got a laugh or two. Even though some of these things are funny, just stop and think before saying a word.

Strange Things People Do

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Sadfishing; Genuine Cry for Help or Crying Wolf?

Genuine cry for help or crying wolf? Photo by Joice Kelly on Unsplash

Sadfishing; Genuine Cry for Help or Crying Wolf?

Sadfishing is when people post themselves on social media crying or in an emotional state. It can be used as a way to garner sympathy or attention. Some people do this in an attempt to get attention for a problem that may not exist at all or may not be as bad as they are making it out to be. Yes, this is a thing. Validation is a motivation for some individuals that do this.

On the other hand, there are people who are genuinely in a bind and are in need of help. After sharing a situation or problem, the individual may feel better. This is a form of release. They feel better because they have made people aware of what they are experiencing.

Crying Wolf

It can be hard to discern from someone who just wants attention and those who really do have a concern/problem. Some people put the issue out there because they are genuinely trying to find a solution. Maybe, they have tried several ways to remedy a problem to no avail. It never hurts to ask and maybe someone out there will have the perfect solution.

Is it right or wrong for people to air their problems on social media? For the ones who are genuinely going through something in life, they can open themselves up to predators. Predators who will try to take advantage of you during a vulnerable state. It may also result in cyberbullying. People may make comments ridiculing you for what you have put out there. Let’s face it, social media is not the most forgiving of places for sensitive situations.

Emotional post. Image by 巻（Maki） from Pixabay

Final Word

Sadfishing is a thing. You may call it a cry for attention but in some instances, it is a genuine cry for help. Though, it is unfortunate when people use this tactic and are in no distress. It’s just a way to play on the emotions of others to see if someone really cares. The instant gratification of posting on social media, makes it very tempting to employ the tactic of sadfishing. For the most part, everyone has a cell phone and/or computer these days and instantly see posts of their followers/friends. Sadfishing; genuine cry for help or crying wolf? What are your thoughts?

Behind the Screen of the Electronic Age

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Can You Answer This? How Do You Measure Success?

How Do You Measure Success?

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Success means something different for everyone. The measure of success varies greatly from person to person. Some may feel successful by obtaining material things. The next person may measure success because they have achieved a goal that they set for themselves. You may be a success due to overcoming something that was out of reach. Wealthy people may say they are successful due to the size of their bank account.

In the digital age, there are many people who measure success by the number of followers they have on social media. Musicians are successful when they have topped the charts or surpassed a certain number of sales.

Success can be as simple as providing for yourself. Working, by either self-employment or a company is a way to have success. Securing a place to live, being employed, having a vehicle. Continually meeting personal milestones is another way to measure success.

Can you answer this? How do you measure success?

The Game of Life; Are You Playing Offense or Defense?
The Game of Life; Are You Playing Offense or Defense?

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Self Awareness Topic

Kinesics: Tells of Your Emotions

Kinesics or better known as non-verbal communication. This includes facial expressions, body language, and posture. Whether we know it or not we communicate in many ways. It may just be habit and it can also be intentional. Let’s look at some ways that we communicate without saying a word. Tone of voice is another way to express our emotions.

Kinesics Definition & Meaning – Merriam-Webster

Folded Arms

Folded arms can be interpreted as being close minded, or anti-social, disinterested or aloof. When we see people with their arms folded, we view them as unhappy or defensive. In reality, that person may just be cold and are folding their arms trying to stay warm. Are you buying it? Well, it could be true. Since we are not mind readers, we will never know.

Smiling

A smile tells a lot. If you see someone with a smile on their face it would indicate that the person is happy. They do not have to say a word. It is all over their face. You can even also read a smile in a telephone conversation. Smiling is seen as a positive gesture and would indicate that someone is approachable, happy, open and nice.

Did you know? Smiling relieves stress and elevates mood.

Eyes looking downward

In conversation, a person who avoids eye contact and looks down may be deceitful. They are hiding something. If their eyes shift downward when asked about something or talking about something uncomfortable, watch the eyes. Downward eyes can also indicate someone who is embarrassed or ashamed.

Standing up straight

Good posture, such as sitting or standing up straight shows confidence. You are occupying space in a positive way. Slouching, on the contrary may show boredom or disinterest. It can also indicate that one who is slouching is tired.

Hand on the hip

Gesturing with hands on the hip can be seen as a challenge. The person showing this sign may be upset or defiant. This is usually not a positive non-verbal gesture. However, depending on the context, using both hands on the hip may be showing power or assertion.

Leaning in and/or tilting head to one side

This gesture can show that you are interested in what others are saying. Leaning in should not be to the extent of invading the other person’s space. Just enough to show that you are paying attention. In addition, tilting the head to one side shows that you are concentrating and are genuinely interested in what the person is saying.

Frowning

One of the most used and most obvious, is frowning. When you see someone frowning, you can imagine that the person is not happy. They are showing their displeasure by frowning. To the ladies out there who walk around frowning, be aware that this makes you unapproachable. No one wants to speak to you or approach you with a scrunched up or frowning face. Just be conscious of this and correct it when you feel yourself doing this. You would be surprised what a difference it makes in your interactions, mood and experiences with others.

Kinesics: Tells of Your Emotions

As you can see, we communicate both verbally and non-verbally. It is important to be aware of this, so not to unintentionally present with the wrong idea. Of course, we cannot control how others perceive us. We can control how we present ourselves in the most flattering light. A simple facial expression can change the trajectory of an otherwise, healthy and positive interaction.

Tone of voice is also important. If we speak to people in a disrespectful way or with arrogance, people will perceive us in that way. If you speak in an even tone and unassuming manner, we will be perceived as open and easy to talk to. How do you communicate?

Image credits:

  • Jackson David on Pixabay
  • Engin Akyurt on Unsplash
  • Etty Fidele on Unsplash
  • Robin Higgins on Pixabay
  • Sewupari Studio on Pixabay
  • Yvette W on Pixabay
Categories
Self Awareness Topic Words of Wisdom

Quote of the Day -Think Positive

Image by ShonEjai from Pixabay

“Look at people for an example, but then make sure to do things your way. Surround yourself with positive people.”

Queen Latifah

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What Color is Your Wardrobe?

Image by Anja from Pixabay

Wardrobe, clothing, attire, outfit, duds whichever name you want to give it; what color is yours? When it comes to clothing, we have many options. Some of us are drawn to bright colors like, yellow, orange, and reds. Others like darker hues like black, gray and navy blue.

Why do you think that is? Do you think it has to do with our personality? There does seem to be a connection to this. Depending on who you ask, if you wear a lot of black clothing you are seen as depressed, introverted, shy. On the other hand, black clothing is seen as a power color. It says that you are elegant and bold, confident too.

Considering your choice of color comes into play when attending certain functions. Also, your mood may dictate the color of your outfit. People wear certain colors for various reasons. Wearing black has the slimming effect, so some people wear it for that reason. Others avoid it because it makes them feel down or depressed. White is another color some like to wear, and others avoid it because it makes them feel like they look heavier. Some people wear clothes that complement their complexion.

Color Palette for Occasion

  • Blending in- to blend in you may pick gray or black. These colors are neutral and do not draw attention, like its brighter counterparts.
  • Standing out- Red is bold and an attention grabber. If you are trying to be noticed red is the way to go. It is also the color of romance. If you are on a romantic date, you might wear a red dress or the LBD. Little black dress is a good choice too.
  • About business- if you are attending a business function or interview, try blue or black. Blue portrays security and shows that you mean business. Black is another power color to wear to a business meeting. It shows authority.
  • Being playful-this calls for colors like pink, yellow or even orange. Yellow is a color that brings out happy vibes, brightness, and positivity. Pink is a softer color which shows openness and friendliness. Orange, although bright can be a cheerful color too.

What Color to Choose?

No matter which color you choose to wear, do it with confidence. How the color makes you feel and how others see it will not always align. So, it is important, to wear what makes you feel good. It is all a personal choice. What color is your wardrobe?

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Must Be the Music, Reggae and Disco

Must Be the Music- Reggae and Disco.

Music has the power to take you places, you didn’t think it could. It evokes emotions like happiness, sadness, love and confusion. Another thing music does is to inform. If you listen to socially conscious songs you will definitely get an education.

Music genres like jazz, Reggae, neo-soul, R &B, Rap/Hip Hop, House, gospel, funk and Disco all reflect a time that most can relate to. I will focus this post on Reggae and Disco.

Image by Ozan from Pixabay

July 1

International Reggae Day

Did you know that International Reggae Day is celebrated every year in Kingston, Jamaica on July 1? Reggae is a combination of R&B, African, calypso and Latin music. While this style of music started in Jamaica it is popular in the United States, Africa and Great Brittain.

On this day you might want to cook some Carribean food and try a new recipe. Watch a movie or documentary inspired by and about Jamaica and its culture. Play your favorite Reggae music.

Who are some of your favorite Reggae artists? What does Reggae music represent to you?

July 2

National Disco Day

Music makes you smile, cry, dance, sing, and nod. You know those days when you need a little pep in your step, just play something up-tempo, like Disco.

National Disco Day is July 2. Disco was popular during a time of crime, political unrest, gang violence and a time of rising homophobia.

Disco was a time of bell bottom pants, platform shoes, afros, the club scene with strobe lights and disco balls. It was an era with a lot of partying happening. This partying provided a way to take your mind off of some of the social plights going on at the time.

What disco songs did you love to dance to?

Radio Interview ft. O’Nika