Optimistically
Viewing
Everyone
Rallying
Surely
Having
Absolute
Determination
Optimizing
Wisdom
Overshadow was written in response to Sadje’s prompt, what do you see?
Image credit: Tom Barrett on Unsplash
Seeking counsel, for the purpose of this post, means to ask for advice. Asking for advice can sometimes be a good idea. Gaining insight into a situation or question about something important helps in the decision-making process.
Keep in mind, that when you seek counsel, choose the person(s) wisely. Example, if you are interested in real estate. Ask someone who is already a realtor or someone who is aspiring to do the same thing. More likely than not, you will get more accurate information from someone who is already doing what you are thinking about getting into.
“The advice we receive can shape who we are – so choose your advisors wisely.”
Unknown
Valuable information to gain from someone who is already in your field of interest include the challenges they had to overcome to get to where they are. Also, the things that were easy. It helps to also ask more than one person in said field. Avoid asking Sally on the stroll, from the block. Even though you have known Sally for over 10 years, she is not about business. She has other interests in life.
Alternatively, avoid divulging your aspirations to everyone. Some people may come off as being happy for you and supportive. And, of course, we all have people in our lives who are just that. Remember, not everyone fits that mold. Be selective with whom you are seeking counsel from.
The overwhelming amount of information is ever increasing. We see the latest, trending news and side with the masses. Or are you one to follow your own mind? Do you see a topic and automatically adopt the views of the masses?
It can be easy to go along with what everyone is saying or believing. At the end of the day, you have to hold your own truth. We get incoming traffic from TV, the internet, radio, people, videos, books and other forms. By “incoming traffic” I mean information.
Always consider the source. So often I witness people going along, or siding with the masses. Why? Follow your own mind. Rely on what you believe and know. It leads me to wonder if some people do it as a means of fitting in. Being with the “in crowd”. It’s that same “in crowd” that will get you into trouble.
The information we receive is not always aligned with our personal opinion. That is okay, nothing wrong with that. Just consider if you are receiving information from a source who likes to stir things up. Is the source coming from an objective point of view. Is the information being put out there to inform people or create hysteria? Consider the source.
If a group of people all agree on a subject, does it make it true? Or is the conversation more interesting when there are differing views?
Having a differing opinion on something does not make you an outcast. It just means that you believe in what you believe in and are not jumping on the bandwagon, with everyone else. Basic conversation may be a reason that people agree on subjects and follow along with the consensus. In some instances, it is okay to join the crowd if it is for conversation’s sake. Do your homework and research things for yourself. Oftentimes, there are bits of missing information.
A group may agree on a subject that you see all over the news, etc. It does not mean that someone else’s truth, is your own. Just because a friend, relative or group of people have a point of view, does not mean that it has to be yours as well. I’m not saying that you should not listen, and value the opinion of others. Yes, of course listen to the views of others but do not take it as your own reality. Especially, if it doesn’t fit. The same way another person feels a certain way, you have your own views and/or opinions. It does not mean that they are right, and you are wrong.
The information age has so much out there in the universe, and it comes at us every day. We can decide to block it out by turning off the news, not getting on the internet or listening to the radio. It then leads some people to feel like they are not informed if they do not have some type of incoming information. You decide how much of it you want to filter.
Staying up to date with all the media is exhausting at times. You hear so much information, then you have to figure out how much of it is true. Words sometimes have a way of swaying people into believing certain things.
Research, research, research Taking on the truth of others or believing that your fate will be the same as people you know, is not the case. Approach personal situations based on your own circumstances, not those of others. Just like the common phrases that people overuse, what do they really mean? Some people are only repeating it because they hear it all the time.
We may have commonalities in life with people we know, but that does not mean the end result will be the same. We have to remember that we are in control of our behavior and cannot control what others do or say.
How do you decipher information you read or hear? Do you take it at face value, or do you confirm it for yourself? Do you find yourself siding with the masses or following your own mind?
January 10th is National Houseplant Appreciation Day. All of us do not have green thumbs but there are plants out there for everyone. Some plants require more attention than others. The basics are water and sunlight. Let’s look at the helpful benefits of plants.
Houseplants give us a sense of calm and they also produce oxygen. If you want to observe National Houseplant Appreciation Day on January 10th, start by buying a plant if you do not have any. For the plants you already have, make sure they have water and the right amount of sunlight.
You might want to spruce up the place with the purchase of an added plant for the house. Consider gifting a houseplant to someone. This also might be a good day to teach your children about growing houseplants. I will admit, I do not have a green thumb, but I take my time and go slowly with nurturing and taking care of my plants.
Health benefits include mood boosting, removing dust particles from a room, added moisture during those winter months, fragrant plants for relaxation and medicinal plants like Aloe. Also, some plants help to clean the air and make breathing easier. Simply put, adding some greenery to your space has many positive benefits.
Don’t forget to talk to your plants. You will feel better, and it will make you smile too. Plus, they look and smell nice too.
Add some greenery to your space at home and try your hand to find your favorite plant variety. They are great stress relievers as well. Can you see the helpful benefits of plants and all their uses?
A skill set is something that we each own. It is a part of what makes us who we are. No one is good at everything but there are some things that we excel at. So, the moral of the story is to rock your skill set.
The things that you are good at, use those things. You know how the saying goes, “use it or lose it”. The same applies here. We were gifted these gifts so that we can hone them and put them to use.
Public speaking is a skill set. If you feel comfortable and, in your element, when speaking to a crowd/group, do more of that. If you get a feeling of satisfaction, knowing that you have helped someone with the message you are bringing, expound on that. Everyone cannot get up in front of a crowd to say one sentence. It is harder than you think. Do not discount this skill.
Oppurtunites for public speaking are available. Through volunteering, networking and business events, politics and education, these skills are very useful. Children can always benefit from hearing sage advice and soaking up useful information. Information that they can take with them and apply in today’s world. Information that will make them stop and think first about their actions and the consequences.
Listening skills. Believe it or not it is difficult to be a good listener. Some of us are only interested in what we have to say and not what the other person is saying. It requires patience and constraint to not jump in while the other person is talking. You have to concentrate on what you are hearing and comprehend, understand and process before you iterate your next thought. Listen to understand and not just to hear.
Love animals? If you love animals, a career at a veterinary clinic may be just for you. Maybe you want to be a pet sitter or dog walker. The animal shelters always have fur babies who need a good home. Consider adopting one of them.
Helping people complete tasks is another area that you can explore. The elderly or others who are incapacitated may need help with everyday chores. You can explore a career in customer service or nursing. So many options exist for you to shine and do what you love.
It is a new year, and we can begin again. Do the things we haven’t done in a while. If you are short on time, consider volunteering for something that fits your schedule. No matter what your skill set is, you possess it for a reason. Use it.
What is a screw face? It is a very crafty tool when used correctly. The timing has to be right, and you have to know when to turn it off. Let me describe it first. It is when you tighten your face muscles and create a face that tells people to back off. It is a face that lets people know that you mean business and you are not playing games. Distortion of your face to look mean. Think Sticky Fingaz, Busta Rhymes, Ice Cube, Fredo Starr, etc…
A time to put on your mean/angry face is when you are out and about. Riding the subway or out walking on the street too. It lets people know not to try you, that you see them, and they better not approach you. Also, in your car put on your screw face. This way the “would be” carjackers will think very carefully before trying to take your whip.
Sometimes you can have on your screw face and not be aware of it. You are just so used to tightening your face it is second nature. Just say the phrase, “relax your face muscles”. You can also practice this in the mirror so that you can see the difference. We send messages without speaking a word and this includes our facial expression.
Some people use a screw face to ward off other people at work. For example, if you never get a chance to do your work because people are always coming into your office with questions and/or requests. A screw face is useful at this time. Because; if people think that you are having a bad day or you are upset about something, a screw face buys you some uninterrupted time to complete your tasks. You will have less knocks on your office door.
If you are out alone and in unfamiliar surroundings, use your screw face. If you look mean and frown your face, it might help to prevent being robbed and/or assaulted. Screwing your face will definitely make someone think twice, especially when they have ill intentions.
When you feel like no one approaches you and you can’t figure out why. This is for the ladies; just keep this in mind. When you are out during a social event and men approach your friends but not you. If you have that face that is so uninviting, people are going to pass you by. You might say to yourself, “self, my outfit is nice, my shoes are matching, my hair is laid and my face is beat”. This is the moment to stop and tell yourself to fix your face. Just think, relax your face muscles.
This technique can be used throughout the day. In your car, at work, at home. When you feel like people are not receptive to your approach, it may be that you have a mean look on your face. Again, ladies if you want to interact with a man that you are interested in, fix your face. This is not the time to have on your screw face. You don’t want to be labeled as an angry woman with things on her mind or emotional baggage.
Whether or not you use a screw face, just know that it comes with benefits. You might wonder why anyone would want to frown or distort their face. If you have ever lived in the inner city or rough parts of town, then you can relate to this, and you will fully understand the necessity of it.
Remember to be aware of whether or not you have a screw face on in social situations. It can make or break your experience. I hope you got a laugh or smile while reading about a screw face. It has some humor in it but is also true. If you have ever had a screw face, you get the meaning and you will learn how to use it.
**1/7/24 post updated: The Hannukah celebration by the Jewish community is not widely celebrated due to security reasons. The current state of affairs of the war, in no way is meant to imply that the Jewish community is the cause. My sincerest apologies to every and anyone who may have been offended. **
The time of year is here. The season of celebration, thankfulness, giving, family and reflection. We have all heard of Thanksgiving, Christmas and Kwanzaa. Among those, people also celebrate Diwali and Three Kings Day. I know there are other celebrations being had across the world. Hannukah is a celebration by the Jewish community. Unfortunately, due to the current state of war these may not be celebrated as widely, because of security reasons.
The point I am getting to, is that no matter what part of the country you live, we all have something to celebrate and be thankful for. The world is not perfect but we can all find at least one thing that is worthy of celebration.
Family is a reason to be thankful. We do not always see eye-to-eye and agree on things, but family is a good reason to be thankful. Maybe, this time of year family can bury the hatchet and squash old beefs in the name of renewal for the new year. Release the weight and be free from the hold. You will feel so much better and be glad that you did.
Celebrate health. If you are ambulatory and have full use of your limbs, celebrate that. You might be thinking, so what that’s nothing to celebrate. Just think if you couldn’t walk on your own. Having to depend on others to do for you. You will appreciate the use of those legs to drive a car, go to work, play with your small children. Taking a walk or even exercising.
Love is a reason to celebrate. If you are coupled up, whether you are married or have a boo. Celebrate that love. Whatever that thing is that brought you together, reflect on it and celebrate in your own way.
Every culture has their holiday rituals and traditions. If you are not in a celebratory mood, try to get out of that funk. It won’t be easy but find a reason to smile. If you haven’t been practicing your religion, go back to that. If you haven’t talked to your friends/family in a while, do that. The things that bring a smile to your face and make you feel good inside, revisit that.
Let me not forget the season for giving. It is not always about money. Give someone a smile or a compliment. If someone asks for your advice, give them true and sound advice. Hug yourself and say something nice. If you do participate in giving for the holiday season, give with a whole heart and not expect anything in return.
Urban renewal on display Brick and Mortar decay Shiny material erected Up, up and away Brick and mortar are sturdy Capable of withstanding Winds, hurricanes and the dirty All except, rebranding Shiny material being built up Adjacent to brick foundations Once thriving now obscure Real estate moguls on the come-up Concrete jungles disappearing New structures and engineering Urban renewal on display Scores of people and their lives astray Working people, families now dispersed Throughout the city, worries mount On deaf ears their cries fall, unrehearsed The times this has happened; too many to count Real estate moguls, investors and the like Padding their pockets and feeling delight Meanwhile everyday people are being discarded Like old shoes when they should be safeguarded The same people running the ship Keeping the business afloat While you sit back on your yacht or big boat So, who is displaying true stewardship?
Image credit: Joshua Kettle on Unsplash
Urban Renewal on Display was written in response to the picture prompt by Sadje for What Do You See?
http://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2023/09/25/what-do-you-see-205-september-25-2023/
Politics is not my thing; but the United States is. What I mean is that I am no political buff but since I do live in the US, I take note of the changing times. The land of the free and the home of the brave. The land of plentiful opportunity. The United States is such a progressive place. A place where many immigrate to for a better life.
In the years lately, I find myself scratching my head wondering why this country continues to drown in debt, homelessness is growing, housing costs are high. What about Veterans? What do they get after fighting for the people? The country is guided by old principles that are centuries old.
Fair living wages are an issue. People are striking in the auto industry and writers as well. It is a domino effect and all trickles down to affect everyone in the end. If you think for a second that it will not affect you too, wake up!
The United States of America has three requirements to be president. You must be at least 35 years of age, must be a natural born citizen of the United States, and have resided in the US for 14 years. I’m sure there are other rules to hold this seat but those are some of the basics.
Must be at least 35 years of age. Yes, this is reasonable. On the other side of things, there should be a cut off age. As humans, when we age, certain things start to decline. Health, cognitive function, etc. The older we are the less apt we will be to make certain decisions and perform certain tasks.
It’s time to shake things up and revise these rules. At the time of inauguration, Barack Obama was 47 years of age, Donald Trump was 70 years of age and the current POTUS, Joe Biden was 78. The median age should fall somewhere between 50-55 years old.
Must be a natural born citizen of the United States. Yes. Absolutely. A criteria that should be in place. It makes sense.
Must have been a resident of the United States for 14 years. Again, yes good rule. It makes sense for someone making decisions for and about the country to have lived here for over a decade. At least they will have some idea of what goes on and how things are done. They can identify the areas and opportunity for change.
Age Limit. As I mentioned earlier, should there be an age limit due to the decline in functions as we age. Yes, the world is continually being ruled by older and older people. We need some middle ground with younger people, while maintaining the minimum age of 35 years.
Legal trouble. Should there be a rule about certain legal troubles? If the person in office is charged with a crime and later found guilty; are they still allowed to hold the seat of president?
Financial Crisis. How does the US run up such a tab and owe astronomical amounts of money. The trillions…We, as a country are in debt but manage to help other countries. How does that work? It’s always good to have ally countries, yes. When is the United States going to lower its debt?
Running the United States needs an overhaul. If we continually rely on antiquated principles and laws, will we ever progress? The world is changing constantly, as such, some of the laws need to be re-written and updated. The way of life centuries ago, is not the same as life today.
Image Credit: PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay
Late September into early October is the time of year for recognition of Hispanic Heritage Month. The Latino and Hispanic American community has made many contributions for the betterment of America. Originally, it started out as a week-long celebration in 1968. Two decades later it became a month-long celebration, declared by President Ronald Reagan.
The reason Hispanic Heritage Month starts in the middle of September, is because it coincides with independence of countries like Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Mexico, Chile and others.
We can see the added value in education, music, food, and the entertainment industry. The contributions by the Hispanic and Latino culture go hand-in-hand with the success of America.
This post was originally published in September 2022 on Inspire By O’Nika
Compassion outweighs malice plus A simple smile infuses our nation
Black business month happens in August. Let your entrepreneurial spirit shine. Support Black businesses. Research some of your favorite black owned brands and spread the word. Some businesses to check out are:
This organization helps black women start and/or build their brands. They accomplish this by hosting workshops, providing videos and webinars. This company is an inspiration to help current business owners to keep their businesses afloat as well as expand. Check out their website below for more information. Looking for a Black owned business, check out their directory. Buy From a Black Woman also has merchandise, which helps to promote their company. Empowerment is another way they are helping the community through their grant program. Check it out.
Clothing company that uses recycled material. Check it out.
par Bronté Laurent – Bronté Laurent (parbrontelaurent.com
If you are in the New Jersey area and need notary services, look no further. Contact Carla Atkins-Bland for your document needs.
Carla Atkins-Bland, Notary Public in Willingboro, NJ 08046 (snapdocs.com)
Thinking of starting a new business? Maybe you are already a business owner and are looking for resources. Check out score.org to help with increasing your business success or aid with any challenges you may be facing. Take some online classes, watch webinars or check for upcoming events in your local area.
Clothing company for men and women. Joggers, short and long-sleeved tee shirts, hoodies and caps made to order. Check out the website to choose your logo, size and color.
Check out Home | LHJR (square.site)
Women owned clothing and accessories company. Check out the website to see what kind of petty fits you. Have fun.
Check out God Ain’t Petty, but I Am®️. The Best Petty Tees in the World. (godaintpetty.com)
It can be hard to know what things are okay and not okay to say to a woman. If there is any doubt about it, just keep it to yourself. I urge you not to do it! Some of these things may result in you getting a slap across the face or cursed out. The most important thing to remember is not to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. Just think about how you would feel if someone did or said these things to you? I’m giving these examples in humor but make no mistake, tread lightly.
When is your baby due? This is a major no-no. Only ask this question when you have heard it directly from the expectant mother. If you do not have first-hand knowledge of the fact that a woman is pregnant; keep your mouth shut! No one says anything about your beer belly. What about that?
Is that your real hair? What! Of course, it’s my real hair. Either I grew this organically or I bought it. Therefore, it makes it mine and real. If there is any question in your mind about it don’t let your curiosity get the best of you. As long as it looks good, it doesn’t matter if it was bought or grown.
Is that what you are wearing? First, be happy that we are gracing you with our company. Do not question our choice in outfit. It sets a bad tone for the rest of the evening. Second, let’s not mention, the times you have made some questionable choices in outfits. Just saying!
Any statement that starts with, “for a woman…”. Oh no, this is bad. You never want to preface anything with, “for a woman…”. What do you mean?!?! Example: for a woman, you are a good driver. Psst, there is this rumor going around that women are bad drivers. Can you believe that?!
This is a never do. Never touch a woman’s hair without permission. If you want to draw back a nub or two, just try it! We do not want you pawing through our hair, unless we invite you. A time commitment is involved to get our hair manageable and to our liking. Don’t think it’s open season to come over and start messing with it. Remember this.
Lastly, I would also like to let women know that you never ask a question that you do not want the real answer to. You know the one that is often asked. “Does this dress make me look fat?” Don’t do it to yourself.
Hope you all got a laugh or two. Even though some of these things are funny, just stop and think before saying a word.
Sadfishing is when people post themselves on social media crying or in an emotional state. It can be used as a way to garner sympathy or attention. Some people do this in an attempt to get attention for a problem that may not exist at all or may not be as bad as they are making it out to be. Yes, this is a thing. Validation is a motivation for some individuals that do this.
On the other hand, there are people who are genuinely in a bind and are in need of help. After sharing a situation or problem, the individual may feel better. This is a form of release. They feel better because they have made people aware of what they are experiencing.
It can be hard to discern from someone who just wants attention and those who really do have a concern/problem. Some people put the issue out there because they are genuinely trying to find a solution. Maybe, they have tried several ways to remedy a problem to no avail. It never hurts to ask and maybe someone out there will have the perfect solution.
Is it right or wrong for people to air their problems on social media? For the ones who are genuinely going through something in life, they can open themselves up to predators. Predators who will try to take advantage of you during a vulnerable state. It may also result in cyberbullying. People may make comments ridiculing you for what you have put out there. Let’s face it, social media is not the most forgiving of places for sensitive situations.
Sadfishing is a thing. You may call it a cry for attention but in some instances, it is a genuine cry for help. Though, it is unfortunate when people use this tactic and are in no distress. It’s just a way to play on the emotions of others to see if someone really cares. The instant gratification of posting on social media, makes it very tempting to employ the tactic of sadfishing. For the most part, everyone has a cell phone and/or computer these days and instantly see posts of their followers/friends. Sadfishing; genuine cry for help or crying wolf? What are your thoughts?
What should you do when operating a motor vehicle? Pay attention to the road. Keep the distractions and other activities at bay. Simply by giving attention to the task of driving can save so many lives. It can also, lessen the number of car accidents. Let’s face it, we do not want the hassle of dealing with police, car insurance companies, a total stranger and all that comes from being involved in a car crash.
April is Distracted Driving Awareness Month. Every time we get behind the wheel of a car, we need to think about the ramifications of driving distracted. Fatal car crashes happen, all too often and people get seriously hurt.
Driving and not totally engaging on the task at hand. If you have to look away from the road or take your hands off the wheel, you are driving while distracted. Operating a motor vehicle is serious business. These days people take it for granted and are overconfident while behind the wheel. Even if you are a skilled driver, you still have to drive defensively due to all the other cars on the road.
Some examples of distracted driving are eating while behind the wheel, applying makeup, talking or texting on the cell phone, and using GPS. Basically, anything that requires you to take your hands off the steering wheel or take your eyes off the road. Tending to small children in the car while in motion or driving with pets unrestrained can lead to distractions. Even for very short periods, this is dangerous.
Slow down and be alert. Keep in mind and take into account your surroundings. Where you are driving and be proactive about potential dangers. Example is while driving in a parking garage. There are people on foot who can step into your path. Keep in mind, the blind spots. You are in a moving vehicle, they are on foot. Watch for people who may be walking in the parking garage.
Park the car while you are eating. Do not start the engine and get on the road while you are eating food or drinking. Especially, hot beverages like coffee or tea, which can scald you if you spill your beverage. Eating requires you to use only one hand while driving and the other hand is holding the food. You can easily lose control while you only have one hand free to drive.
Apply your makeup at home before leaving the house. Get up earlier and make sure you apply your face before endangering the lives of others. You cannot focus on the road and drive safely, while you are looking in the mirror and putting on eye makeup, lipstick, etc.
Pull over and put the car in park if you need to text or call. It only takes a few extra minutes to ensure your safety and other drivers on the road. Too often I see people driving down the road with the cell phone and both hands on top of the wheel while they are texting. Or, the dead giveaway, is when the driver is looking down instead of straight ahead at the road. Better yet, keep the cell phone out of reach while driving.
Using GPS, global positioning systems are a great tool to have on the road. It also creates a distraction while driving. One way to use it safely is to pull over. Depending on the car you drive or the kind of GPS you are using, it may require you to take your eyes off the road and/or at least one hand.
Another form of distracted driving is being on the road while under the influence. Whether you have been drinking or using other substances, this can severely alter your reaction times. Destroying people’s property and possibly killing someone is not worth it.
Driving while sleepy is another way we are on the road being distracted. If you are sleepy, you may nod out at the traffic light. Also, you may veer into oncoming traffic. It is very dangerous. Pull over and take a nap. Better yet, make sure you are well rested behind getting behind the wheel.
Distracted driving causes fatalities and changes the course of people’s lives forever. What are you going to say to the family of someone that you have murdered with your vehicle? I’m sorry is not going to cut it. Car accidents happen so fast but can also be avoided when we pay attention to the road. Think about pedestrians who may be crossing the street. Driving too fast can cause a person to lose control of the car. Everyone is in a rush these days. Slow down!
What are some tips that you use to cut down or stop distracted driving?
Image credit: Photo by Omar Al-Ghosson on Unsplash
