Did you talk to yourself today as a reminder of how blessed you are? Tell yourself that no matter what happens you are still here. If you didn’t have the talk yet today, there is still time left.
Tag: love
Black History Month
February is Black History Month. 2024 is a leap year, so we have 29 days to show our pride. Reflect on the contributions of African Americans. Consider where we came from and where we are today.
Alexander Miles created automatic elevator doors. Making for a safer elevator experience by lessening fatalities from people falling down the elevator shaft. Mary Van Brittan Brown co-invented the home security system. A much-needed necessity in the world today, which gives peace of mind, both while at home and away. Other inventions like the ironing board, traffic light, caller I.D. and call waiting are just some of the inventions by the Black community.
Superbowl Sunday
February 11, 2024- Kansas City Chiefs vs San Francisco 49ers
Watch Your Heart
February is Heart Awareness Month. Take time to pay attention and watch out for your heart health. Exercise and healthy diet are two ways to maintain health.
Along with heart health, in February there is Black Love Day and Valentines Day. February 13th celebrate Black Love Day with your sweetie and remind them just how much they mean to you. Not only romantically, but also BLD highlights love for the Black community as a whole. Don’t forget about friends and family.
Valentines Day is on February 14. Another way to guard your heart health with displays of affection. Show your love for your partner and include family and friends.
International Week of Black Women in the Arts
February 7-15 is a week to recognize and celebrate Black women in the arts. This includes movies, art and music. Women are still facing equality issues as it relates to compensation for their talents. Black women are still not being paid in equal amounts like their peers.
Art by African American women is not displayed at exhibits the same way it is for people of other demographics. Women who are performers in music are underpaid in the industry. Even though they have made great strides in this area, it is still not equal to actresses of other nationalities.
If you are interested in learning more, research Black artists. If you have a favorite artist, share with people you know. Another way to support Black female artists is to buy pieces of art by them. Spreading the word is a way to support their contributions and achievements.
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday Aquarians and Pisces.
Image Credit: Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash
The Season for Celebration
**1/7/24 post updated: The Hannukah celebration by the Jewish community is not widely celebrated due to security reasons. The current state of affairs of the war, in no way is meant to imply that the Jewish community is the cause. My sincerest apologies to every and anyone who may have been offended. **
The time of year is here. The season of celebration, thankfulness, giving, family and reflection. We have all heard of Thanksgiving, Christmas and Kwanzaa. Among those, people also celebrate Diwali and Three Kings Day. I know there are other celebrations being had across the world. Hannukah is a celebration by the Jewish community. Unfortunately, due to the current state of war these may not be celebrated as widely, because of security reasons.
The point I am getting to, is that no matter what part of the country you live, we all have something to celebrate and be thankful for. The world is not perfect but we can all find at least one thing that is worthy of celebration.
Family
Family is a reason to be thankful. We do not always see eye-to-eye and agree on things, but family is a good reason to be thankful. Maybe, this time of year family can bury the hatchet and squash old beefs in the name of renewal for the new year. Release the weight and be free from the hold. You will feel so much better and be glad that you did.
Health
Celebrate health. If you are ambulatory and have full use of your limbs, celebrate that. You might be thinking, so what that’s nothing to celebrate. Just think if you couldn’t walk on your own. Having to depend on others to do for you. You will appreciate the use of those legs to drive a car, go to work, play with your small children. Taking a walk or even exercising.
Love
Love is a reason to celebrate. If you are coupled up, whether you are married or have a boo. Celebrate that love. Whatever that thing is that brought you together, reflect on it and celebrate in your own way.
The Season for Celebration
Every culture has their holiday rituals and traditions. If you are not in a celebratory mood, try to get out of that funk. It won’t be easy but find a reason to smile. If you haven’t been practicing your religion, go back to that. If you haven’t talked to your friends/family in a while, do that. The things that bring a smile to your face and make you feel good inside, revisit that.
Giving
Let me not forget the season for giving. It is not always about money. Give someone a smile or a compliment. If someone asks for your advice, give them true and sound advice. Hug yourself and say something nice. If you do participate in giving for the holiday season, give with a whole heart and not expect anything in return.
Strength of a Black Woman. The Curse and the Gift.
At a very young age Black girls are taught to be strong. They are also surrounded by examples of this strength. Growing up and watching your sisters, aunties, mother, cousins, etc. holding it down, you get a sense of what it means to be strong. The strength of a Black woman is both a curse and a gift.
At times, this can be crippling when you are struggling with something and need to lean on someone for help. In those moments when we are vulnerable, we were taught not to show it. Just do what you have to do and not let anyone on the outside see that vulnerability.
I want to be clear that when I am talking about the strength of a Black woman it is not to exclude anyone. Simply, that I am speaking from my point of view and experience. I stand in solidarity with all women. My point of view is being told with the utmost respect. However, I cannot speak to the challenges and/or triumphs that other women face. Women of all races experience struggle and face discrimination for different reasons. I am speaking from my reality.
Strength of a Black Woman. The Gift
Whether or not you witness strong Black women, life makes you strong. The circumstances in life force you to get it together. No time for crying, no time for thinking about it. Just time to do it! The gift of being a strong Black woman comes at a price though. The gift of strength is what makes you smile when you have conquered those hard knock life moments.
Being blessed enough to be able to bear children is a gift. One that some women take for granted. The birth of a child requires bodily strength. Of course, there are amazing drugs to take off the edge. Also, it requires a certain mental strength. Now you are responsible for another human. You have to nurture and care for the individual that you have carried for all these months. Breastfeeding, waking up at night, school activities, monetary responsibilities, keeping the child safe.
The strength takes over when you only had 2 hours of sleep and its now time to get up for work. Feeding times when your nipple is sore from feeding. Getting up to warm a bottle of formula and preparing, just when your head hit the pillow. Consoling your child when they had a bad day at school. Providing groceries and wondering how to stretch the dollar when rent is due. Strength is also that thing we have on our side when the father of your child is absent, for whatever reason. In those instances, we are the sole provider and have to hold things together. Single motherhood is a thing and that’s when strength plays a big part.
Inner strength is what gets you out of the bed in the morning. Strength makes you power through when you are not feeling well. It is what makes you show up to a minimum wage job. Inner strength keeps you going when you feel like giving up. Being strong is what allows you to deal with less-than-ideal situations. It is what lets you tackle life head on, with no hesitation. Strength is what makes you say, “no” to things that do not serve you.
Strength of a Black Woman. The Curse
Being strong is good but at times, it can be bad. It is the same strength that tricks your mind into thinking that you have to do it alone. You are not allowed to seek assistance. When you show up as a strong woman, sometimes people think you can do it all. They judge you and do not think that you need help.
Health concerns get ignored, even when they are legitimate concerns. Healthcare has not been kind to Black women. We know our bodies and know when something is wrong. At times when we take those concerns to a professional, we are made to feel like the problem is non-existent or is not a concern at all. The “brush-off” is what I call it.
In situations where we do reach out for assistance, we hesitate for fear of being judged. Other times, people see that strength and use it to their advantage. Meaning, they figure we can deal with or handle a situation, therefore do not step in to help when it is warranted. There is this unspoken expectation for us to do certain things, no matter what.
What does it all mean?
- Use the gift of strength in a way that inspires people, and they see themselves when they see you.
- Being strong means its ok to show your feminine, softer side. Without apologies.
- Strength allows us to love others and show compassion.
- Strength does not mean to behave like a man or speak like one.
- Strength is what you have inside that no one can see or touch. It just shines through you.
- Strong Black women need love, support, protection and understanding too.
- Strength is not a show of arrogance but one of conviction.
- Know that you do not have to show your feminine physical parts to be noticed or seen.
- A strong Black woman knows that it is ok to be vulnerable without feelings of shame/abashment.
So, you see, the strength of a Black woman is a gift and a curse. It comes with a lot of responsibility. Also, it comes with boundless rewards. Cultivate that strength and power and it will be more of a gift than a curse.
Categories
Peace, Love and Harmony
Keep your minds and hearts open for the united states, israel, ukraine and hawaii.
The devastation happening in all parts of the world is heavy. I ask that you keep your hearts, mind and prayers up for everyone affected by the recent and ongoing atrocities against mankind.
It is a time for healing. We need peace, love and harmony.
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Father’s Day- Two Thousand Twenty Three
June 18, 2023-Father’s Day
Fathers are such an integral part of the family. We look to them to be the providers and to be the strength as protectors. Besides that, they are people too and as such need to feel appreciated and loved. We often place more emphasis on Mother’s Day, but fathers are important too. On Sunday, let your dad know just how special he is to you.
For years fathers have been caretakers of the family and have really stepped into and embraced this role. Some fathers do not get the recognition they deserve. On Father’s Day, which is usually the 3rd Sunday in June, call your father and all the fathers you know. Wish them blessings for a happy Father’s Day. It will lift them up and make them feel good about their role.
Depending on where you live in the world, there are a myriad of ways to celebrate. Some people give gift cards or buy gifts. Some popular gifts are work tools, ties, car accessories, or grooming products. For the Dads who love to grill out, you can gift some items for the “grill master”.
Another way to celebrate your father or father figure is to spend time with him. Time is something precious that we can never get back and what better way to show your love than to spend some time with Dad.
If it is not physically possible to see your Dad; talk to him in prayer. Remember those favorite things about him that make you smile. Play his favorite song, wear his favorite color, make him a greeting card and keep it in remembrance of him. Whatever you choose to do, make it special.
Image credit: Image by No-longer-here from Pixabay
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Have I Told You Lately?
Have I Told You Lately?
You are my mom, tried and true You cheer me up, when I am blue When I need a hug, you are there I can turn to you, when it’s too much to bear You take me to the park I can see the dogs play and bark You make me laugh and smile You wear motherhood with much style Thank you for being my mother Your role, invaluable, like no other Have I told you lately? You are loved by me, greatly ---O'Nika McGill---
Have I Told You Lately? is written in response to prompt by Sadje, http://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2023/05/15/what-do-you-see-186-may-15-2023-mothers-day/
Have I Told You Lately? first appeared on Inspire By O’Nika.
April is Couple Appreciation Month. What a better time of year to let love blossom. After all, April is the month when the flowers bloom and so can the love a couple shares with each other. Not to say that when April is over you go back to being “extra” or whatever version of yourself you were all year long. Just joking, just joking. It’s ok to smile. But, you get my meaning.
Being coupled up is a beautiful thing and has its advantages. You get to share a part of your life with someone. All the moments that make you smile, laugh, cry. You get to celebrate each other. Be it for business successes or other personal milestones in life. When you had a not so nice day, you get to be hugged and comforted by your loved one. You get to create memories together.
April is halfway over so if you haven’t been showing appreciation for your “better half”, there is still time left. I would like to think that when the first of May comes, you continue on. Let the appreciation and love flow throughout the year.
Why is showing appreciation important or even necessary?
- Appreciation is a form of love
- It does not cost anything to show it
- Simple gestures are sometimes, the things that keeps couples together
- Showing appreciation is unique to each couple
- It opens doors to more possiblilities and growth in the relationship
Just think about how you felt the last time your partner showed appreciation to you. How did it make you feel? I bet it made you smile and feel loved. Appreciation for your mate is just another extension of your love for that person. Think about something that your partner likes to do or something they enjoy. Make it possible for him/her. Just because. It does not have to be for a special occasion. And do it, without them asking.
Do those things that you haven’t done for a while. Even the ones you can’t talk about out loud; you know those intimate secrets. Go back to your first date or a first for your relationship. Remind your partner of those things that make you smile and the things that you love about them.
Appreciation is in everyone’s budget. There is no excuse. I hear some of you trying to talk yourselves out of this. Just get out of your comfort zone and take the time, take the time; I’ll say again. Take the time. You won’t regret it. Life is short. Enjoy each other.
Here is a list to get you started
- Make a homemade romantic dinner
- If you can’t cook, go out to a nice restaurant. Get dressed up and make a night of it.
- Re-create the most enjoyable date you had in the beginning of the relationship. You know the one where you had “butterflies” in your stomach.
- Gift your partner their favorite flowers, perfume/cologne
- Give a sensual massage. Fill in the blanks.
- Put your dancing shoes on and go out for some dancing and music
- Go away for a weekend trip, if this is in the budget
- Take your partner out for a surprise lunch
- Recite an original poem or spoken word piece about your special someone
- Remind him/her of all the reasons you fell in love
- Create a new memory to show your appreciation for the relationship
Hopefully, these items can get you off to a good start. Whatever you do, make it special. Love should be celebrated not just for birthdays, anniversaries, Black Love Day, Valentine’s Day and the like. Every human on this earth needs love. So, show yours in your own unique way and I wish you all a wonderful Couple Appreciation Month.
What Compares to A Child’s Laughter?
What is more endearing than a child’s laughter?
Hearing a child laugh is a sound that is so beautiful. It is something that I, for one, would not get tired of hearing. Children are so innocent and pure. Nothing makes the heart smile more than to hear the laughter of children. When I hear a child laugh it makes me feel joy and happiness, right along with them.
Can you answer this? What compares to a child’s laughter?
What do you think?
Audio credit- Sound Effect from Pixabay
Categories
Grow Your Mental
Growing your mental Opens minds; developmental Love and consciousness are life’s syllabus The syllabus which teaches us Leading with eyes only Robs the soul and results to lonely Lonely, pretentious and superficial Love and meaning are most beneficial Ask yourself when you look in the mirror Do I manifest what I am seeking? Searching hard for the answer brings you nearer Realizing that arrogance, pride and conceit are what you are reeking Maturity and mental growth Brings us closer to an oath That tells us life is about much more Fulfillment, gratification and enrichment are in store Exit the false prophecy Visualize the hypocrisy Newfound treasures appear before your eyes Things unseen before suddenly materialize Wow, what a surprise! Grow Your Mental first appeared on Inspire By O'Nika, March 22, 2023
Is a Man or Woman More Capable of Love?
Both men and women have lost in love at least once. Some are fortunate enough to have found their true love. I say true love because there is a difference in saying you love someone and showing it. Do you think men are more capable of love than women? It depends on who you ask and their experience with love.
In my opinion, I think women are more capable of love. The reason is because women are nurturers and mothers and as such, more accepting. I don’t believe that you can be accepting without love. You have to start with love in order to accept or nurture something or someone.
Don’t get me wrong, men are capable too. I have seen it. It does exist. We must give them credit. I think the thing that holds some men back is feeling less masculine when showing their loving or nurturing side.
Can you answer this? Is a man or woman more capable of love? What do you think?
Categories
Where’s My Sugar?
Where’s My Sugar?
Where's my sugar? Are you going to kiss me or what? These circles are starting to make me dizzy Besides, I don't have all day, she says. He replies, Alright, don't get in a tizzy She adds, we don't have to touch Just put your lips on mine Pucker up and lay it on me Really, is that too much? Shyly, he says, It's just that...I'm in a daze The circles put me in a trance Your eyes are so beautiful I'm locked in a gaze Impatiently, she replies, the circle of life is not infinite Maybe we'll meet again but I have to go now When we next see, I'll lay a kiss on you so good You can't help but to take a bow Written in response to Sadje's prompt #165, what do you see? Where's My Sugar was first published on Inspirebyonika.com on December 21, 2022
Categories
Inside the Shell of the Human
Inside the shell of the human is complex. Humans are made up of more than just a shell. More than what you see on the outside. Beneath the skin, lies character, emotions, and the essence of a person. What we see is not always representative of what is inside. Some people are good at camouflaging their feelings. You would never know that something horrific was going on.
If something seems off about someone you know, stop for a minute to ask. Not to say, do an interogation but stop to check on that person. You can’t tell from the outside what people are going through. This time of year brings a lot of emotions and triggers for people. It is not always the happiest of times for everyone.
How to be there for someone
If you see someone going through a hard time, you want to help. The question is, “how do you help?”. It can be tricky when you worry about how the person may respond to your concern. Some people may take it as you being intrusive in their life, some may be offended that you said something, some may be relieved that their feelings are being seen by someone else.
When in doubt about how to help someone who is depressed, grieving, sad or just not themselves, here are some suggestions:
- Listen, just let them talk and you listen. Sometimes they just want to be heard. Be that ear and/or shoulder to cry on.
- Be there, let them know that you are there mentally and physically. It is therapeutic for some just to be in the presence of someone who cares. It brings comfort for them to not be alone.
- Offer to help with everyday chores. If they need help with housework, or a meal or two. Maybe they have errands that they need help with. Make sure to keep your word with this and don’t offer anything you are not willing to actually do.
- Don’t judge; it might seem like something small to you but it obviously feels different for them.
- Offer resources like any local places, online sites, or phone numbers where they can connect with someone.
In conclusion
Unless you are a licensed professional, it is hard to tell what a person needs in order to feel better. It is difficult to see a friend or loved one going through something and not know what to do. Just use your best judgement and try your best to help.
Inside the shell of the human holds many things. This time of year can be extremely difficult for many people. Just be mindful of this and keep that in the forefront of your mind. Mental health is not something a lot of people want to discuss, but it is very important. Of course, take care of yourself first. Otherwise, you cannot be good for others if you, yourself are not good.
Resources
Sanvello | On-demand help for stress, anxiety, and depression
HeyPeers – Where Peers and Support Groups Connect
https://www.fcc.gov/988-Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Farmer’s Day (Dec 2) Ghana
Image by David from Pixabay
The first Friday in December is recognized as Farmer’s Day in Ghana. This day is to recognize the farming and fishing industries. Agriculture is an important part of this region of Africa. It is a week-long occasion marked by festivals and networking events. Not only is agriculture important in Ghana but also in other parts of the world. Bushfires in the early 80s led to food shortages. The destruction of crops is what prompted the government to get involved. Let us honor farmers and fishermen that bring us nutritious food. Agriculture provides a strong foundation for the well-being of everyone. Also, it has a great impact on the economy.
Happy Birthday Sagittarians and Capricorns
Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash
Jay Z (Dec 4)
Happy Birthday Jay Z! He is an American Rapper married to recording artist Beyonce Knowles. His music career started with Reasonable Doubt in 1996. He is an example and an inspiration for anyone who aspires to change their life around. He started from humble beginnings in Brooklyn, NY and look at him now! ” What more can I say?”, from The Black Album.
Denzel Washington (Dec 28)
Happy Birthday Denzel Washington! Who doesn’t know Denzel? He is a talented actor with a long and successful career in movies and TV. He has such a presence about him in his roles on the screen. It doesn’t hurt that he is easy on the eyes. He is the first African American actor to win two Academy Awards.
“Goals on the road to achievement cannot be achieved without discipline and consistency.” – Denzel Washington
The jury is still out on this one. I found that National Re-gifting day occurs on the third Thursday in December, which would be the 15th. Also, I have found some sources say it falls on the Thursday right before Christmas, which would be the 22nd. There is an actual day set aside for this, who knew? I learn something new all the time. Anyway, I asked the question about a month ago; What is your take on re-gifting? Not a lot of people expressed their opinion on the subject. I suspect, it may be out of fear of being judged by others. National Re-gifting day is a chance to recycle or re-use some items that may not otherwise get to be enjoyed by someone.
National Coquito Day (Dec 21) Puerto Rico
Photo by Maria Moledo on Unsplash
December 21 is National Coquito Day. Coquito is a Puerto Rican holiday drink. You will not find two coquito recipes that are alike. It is the island’s version of eggnog. Rum, cream of coconut and condensed milk are the main ingredients. This drink is guaranteed to get you in the holiday spirit. Please enjoy in small quantities, as this is a potent holiday concoction. Small sips only, don’t get a big mug or glass and think you are going to get up and walk afterwards ;-)Not only can you enjoy this with family and friends but also Coquito can be given as a gift.
National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month
December is National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention month. There are an increased number of impaired drivers on the road around the holiday season, Christmas, New Year’s Eve. The spike in accidents and deaths attributes to people thinking they are ok to drive after getting together for parties and celebrating with libations. Although, there is nothing wrong with enjoying alcoholic beverages, do it in a responsible way. If you are out and know you have had one too many, take a taxi, Uber or have someone else drive you. If you are in walking distance, walk home. Have a designated driver. Getting behind the wheel after drinking and drugging has proven to be fatal, time and time again. Give everyone the chance to live life and have fun by not driving while impaired.
Christmas (Dec 25)
Photo by Alin Andersen on Unsplash
The day Jesus Christ was born, also known as Christmas. Christmas is celebrated in many ways. For those who do observe this day, it holds a special significance. Some people go to church, some families gather around the Christmas tree and exchange gifts. Christmas dinner is also a tradition on this day. The country has strayed a little from the religious aspect of December 25th and its meaning. This day has become very commercialized. Different countries have their own way of celebrating this holiday. One thing that is notable is all the decorations, inside homes and outside. Check out a local Christmas light display in your area. This is a very uplifting time of year, with the songs, lights, decorations, and gifts.
Kwanzaa (Dec 26-Jan 1)
Image by RODNAE Productions on Pexels
Kwanzaa is an African American celebration. However, you don’t have to be African American to take part in the festivities. Children are very much a part of this celebration. Even though gifts are given during Kwanzaa it is primarily based on the seven principles. Purpose, creativity, economics, unity, faith, self-determination and responsibility. Each day a candle is lit and families talk about one of the seven principles. Every principle has a corresponding symbolic gift which consist of ears of corn, a mat made of straw, a communal cup which stands for unity, fruits and veggies. Some people don traditional African clothing during Kwanzaa. On New Year’s Eve, Dec 31 a communal feast called karamu is held.
December image credit- Guneet Jassal on Unsplash
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What is your Favorite Christmas Movie?
What is your favorite Christmas movie? The holiday season is here. During this time of year, there are a ton of holiday movies playing. You can watch an animated version, a Christmas comedy, a romance or the regular kind. A few titles come to mind when I think about some of my favorites.
Home Alone– Kevin gets into all kinds of things when he gets left behind by the family. He comes up with some clever plots to stop would-be burglars who think the house is empty.
This Christmas– This Christmas is a movie about more than the holidays. It is about family, love, and life. I’m sure most of us can relate to at least one character in this movie. There is some good music in this one too.
A Charlie Brown Christmas– This one is a classic, if you like the Peanuts gang! It always puts me in a good mood when I watch it.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas– Jim Carrey (the Grinch) is up to no good in this one.
The Best Man Holiday– Even though this one was a little sad, there is some laughter too.
Black Nativity– Some life lessons and good singing in this one to lift your spirits.
Drop a note and share with us, what is your favorite Christmas movie? Don’t be shy 🙂