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Believe In Yourself
Tag: empowerment
Black people come in a myriad of different skin tones. Due to this, some are discriminated against because they are either too light or too dark to be Black. This discrimination happens within our own community, as well as, by people outside of the Black race. That’s the sad part about it.
Light Skin
Photo by Nicole Berro on Pexels
If you are Black and are of a lighter complexion, people think that you are conceited. Some people say that you think you are, “all-that” and that you think you are better than other Black people who have a darker skin tone. While some light skinned people do act that way and fit the description, it is not because of the color of their skin. I attribute those characteristics to the individual person and not their complexion. Just note, that there are darker skinned Black people who possess the same traits. They think they are better than other Black people and there are some who are conceited too.
A perception exists that lighter skinned people are smarter, have more privileges and are more successful than darker skinned people. Being of a lighter complexion leads some people to say that you are not, “black enough”. Just based on your skin tone. Also, there is this kind of acceptance that some people seek just to prove their, “blackness”. This backward thinking is a part of what’s wrong with the world today. It goes back so many years and you would think in the year 2022, we would have progressed.
A person’s success in life depends on the efforts of that individual and not some unfounded belief that it is because they are light skinned. The world is so focused on outward appearance. Nowadays, people don’t take the time to see what others are truly made of and who they are beyond their skin tone.
We can’t help how we were made, and we were made the way we are for a reason. It is no excuse to call people names and insult them because they are not the same complexion as you. Light skinned people have been called derogatory names like red bone, high yellow, light skin, and pale face, just to name a few.
Dark Skin
Photo by Meghan Holmes on Unsplash
Being a Black person and having a dark skin tone comes with some negative preconceptions too. People think that if you are dark skinned that you are unintelligent, unsuccessful and not attractive. Again, this is so superficial and another stereotype that needs to be broken. Some people with a dark skinned complexion feel the need to compete with light skinned people. Meaning, that some women go to the extreme of bleaching their skin. I attribute this to the pressures of society to fit some unrealistic mold.
Darker skinned people are just as smart, beautiful, and successful as people of lighter skin tones. It can be hard for some to truly believe this when everyday someone tries to make them feel otherwise. We have to erase the color lines and lift each other up. It is so unfair to judge someone by their complexion before getting to know them. People of darker skin tones get labeled as, “too ethnic” and are passed up for certain career opportunities.
Some negative names that dark-skinned women have been called are jigaboo, darkie, black and burnt. Imagine what this does to a person’s psyche. There are many more derogatory names that people of both light and dark skin tones are called but this is just the abbreviated version. I truly believe that you should not navigate your life based on what other’s think of you. Pave your own way and don’t worry about people’s opinion.
Takeaway
Your complexion should not influence how far you go in life. My advice is to believe in yourself and go for what you want in life. It’s okay if you get passed up for an opportunity. That means it wasn’t for you and there is something else out there. Keep going! Do not be discouraged! It’s hard enough out here being judged by the masses. Why are we being judged by our own too? Let’s embrace each other and help each other out.
Categories
Mental Health
Check out Tha Du-Ja Show. This episode is about Mental Health.
Congratulations to Duquan Hicks and Aa-son Jasim for 1 year of their awareness podcast. Keep it up and much success to you both!!
Some of the topics they have covered include social injustice, dating, an interview with DJ Shakim, loose conversation, and the latest episode on Mental Health. Check out their YouTube channel, Tha Du-Ja Show to see other episodes. Enjoy!
March 8, 2022 is International Women’s Day. This month is also Women’s History Month. Let’s celebrate each other ladies!! What a wonderful way to truly bring light to women all over the world. Oftentimes, we do not get the recognition that we deserve. We are women, mothers, wives, business owners, providers, educators, nurturers and then some.
Sometimes we are overlooked for certain career opportunities. We are paid less than men, but we are just as valuable. We contribute as many ideas, hours and truly bring value to the workplace. Women are often seen as the “weaker” sex. I’m here to tell you that nothing can be further from the truth. We are just as capable as men in the world.
Even though we are nurturers we also hold our own in many, many ways. We wear many hats and are stronger than we look; both mentally and physically. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Don’t sleep on us because we look a certain way. Women have the capability to adapt to situations and rise above adversities in life.
I encourage every woman to let their light shine and don’t be afraid to stand tall and DO YOU!! Don’t dumb it down just so that everyone around you can feel comfortable. No, be YOU in all your glory, beauty and brains!
We have a lot to offer and that is why as women we need to continue to lift each other up. Not just in times of need but in every way that we can. You never know who you can encourage and lift up just by your kind words, smile and advice.
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Quote
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
So, let’s talk about self-esteem and why it’s important. Self-esteem is how you see yourself. You are worthy and you know how to put a value on the person that you are. Self-esteem is very important because it is going to guide you in life, it drives your decisions. It is very important because with it, no one can try to make you feel small; well, they can try. Ultimately, you know that you are worthy and that is enough. Without it, you might think it is ok for someone to treat you badly.
I don’t want anyone to lose sight of their self-worth because that is something that no one can give you. It is something that you have to search within yourself to bring out. Realize your potential because without self-esteem things can go in a totally opposite direction and we don’t want that! We want to keep it positive! We want to keep ourselves uplifted! Unfortunately, even when you are minding your own business, at some point trouble will find you. So, it’s best to power up your self-esteem, I’m talking about positive self-esteem. Once you fully believe it you tell yourself; yes, I’m worthy of respect, love, and I deserve to be treated well. Once you tell yourself these things you will have a brighter outlook and the confidence to move ahead.
It is not enough to just think these things you need to speak it out loud. I mean to affirm these things when you’re alone or in trusted company. First, you have to think it, believe it and know it. Secondly, say it out loud. Vocalizing it gives you power. Lifting yourself up and speaking positive things about yourself is very helpful. Highlight some physical attributes. Say, I’m beautiful, I have a beautiful smile, I have beautiful eyes, I have nice legs, I have a beautiful personality or I’m a good friend. Affirm the things that you know you possess, whether it is a characteristic or something physical.
Reasons Why Self-esteem Is Important
Self-esteem gives you empowerment. It gives you confidence. You will be invincible in the way that if someone makes a certain comment about you, it’s not going to ruin your day. Certain comments are not going to bring you down and turn your bright outlook into something negative There are people who will try to insult others, just so that they can feel better about themselves.
Remember that someone else’s opinion of you doesn’t validate who you are. Everyone has their own opinion and that’s OK. We are not going to be liked by everyone we encounter, it’s perfectly fine. The reason it is fine is because the people who belong in our lives are the ones who will stick around. They are going to be in our lives for more than a season.
Scenarios
- If someone approaches you with an off the wall comment. It’s best to walk away or just kill them with kindness. Kill them with kindness. Even though your first instinct may be to punch them in the face. Come back with something nice about them. That’s all you have to do. Because they are not going to expect that. They will not know how to react. This will throw them off. You don’t even have to stick around to see their reaction just walk away. Another tactic is to ignore them, tune them out. OK, that is a skill that I have mastered myself.
- There are bullies out there, both children and adults. The ones who never have a nice word to say about anyone. More times than not its because they feel inadequate about themselves. Don’t let them reign their negativity on you and ruin your day. Self-esteem prepares you and you exude confidence with your body language. Stand tall and hold your head up.
- If you walk around with slumped posture and looking down, this is no good. People can pick up on that energy and then you become a target. You may be perceived as weak. Because you are showing that you are in a down mood people will prey on you. Even if you are in a down mood, do not let this show! It is especially necessary on these days that you may not feel so sure of yourself, that you show up and show out! Let the world know that you are ready and unstoppable. Walk with purpose!
- With self-esteem you will not question when someone is nice to you. Everyone doesn’t have a hidden agenda. Everyone is not out to get you. Without self-esteem you question certain things. You think to yourself; why are they being nice to me? And I say, well, why not you? Of course, you deserve to be treated nicely, you deserve to receive love, you deserve respect. On the other hand, we have instincts or intuition so don’t let your guard down with everyone. We all know better than this. What I am saying is that when certain things happen to you that are good, embrace it, receive it. Don’t block your blessings!
- The same exact thing can happen to me and my friend but it may take me two weeks to get out of it, it may take her three days. It’s different for everyone so we can’t measure our own healing or grieving process against others. What I’m saying is we have to move on, we have to get out of that at some point. We cannot stay in that state of feeling like we’re not deserving of certain things because it’s just simply not true.
- Self-esteem helps us deal with people and/or relationships. You may have a toxic personality in your life and especially if it is someone who’s close to you, those may be the hardest ones to disengage from. Sometimes, you have to cut people off just to let them know that they are not going to speak to you any kind of way, they cannot treat you any kind of way. They may have been around for a while but you just have to do it. It is not going to be easy but it is necessary. If for nothing else, your own sanity, your own self-esteem and respect.
Walk In Your Power
Just know that self-esteem matters. Tell yourself that you are a good person, you deserve respect, you deserve kindness. If someone has drilled it in your head that you are anything less than magnificent, don’t believe it. Be brave enough to showcase that. It’s one thing if this starts in your childhood because when you are a child everything soaks in like a sponge. Children are impressionable. As you grow to be an adult you know the difference. The minute you assert yourself people will look at you like; who is this, is this really you, did you just say, that, did you just do that. It only takes one time to make a believer out of them. Don’t be afraid!
The pandemic has changed our lives in so many ways. People are going through so much. Some people have lost their jobs, they are being displaced from their homes, schools are closed, etc. Therefore, parents can’t go back to work because they don’t have childcare. There is a lot of domestic violence happening as well because families are stuck together every day. with mounting pressures. Food is expensive, housing is expensive and it’s not the easiest time to navigate, it’s not as easy to bounce back right now. This is a time of low morale for some. It is important that we walk in our power. Go and be around a person or people who are always upbeat. They always have a kind word; call that person up, text that person.
Lastly, please do not mistake self-esteem for arrogance, egotism and conceit. Having a high regard for yourself is not the same as having an inflated sense of self.
So, do you see why having self-esteem is important?
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