Tag: inspiration

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Blended Families and Discipline Rules

Father’s Day Series, Part 3.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Please know that you are seen and appreciated for all that you contribute and do for your children. The dads who take the responsibility seriously and do what they need to, in support and love of their children. I hope you smile today and every day knowing in your heart that you are special, important, loved, needed and cherished.

Blended families and discipline rules

Blended families exist and they can be rewarding but also come with some demands. Meaning, that the non-biological parent in the family may face some opposition when trying to discipline a child in the home. The child may feel like they do not have to abide by rules of someone who is not their biological parent. You know how defiant kids can be. So, that brings the question of what the rules are with discipline. Is it okay for a parent other than the biological mother or father to discipline a child?

One thing I think most of us can agree on is that children require discipline. The method of discipline varies greatly and is a personal preference. Nonetheless, it is a necessary part of a child’s growth and development.

Some families are blended, and some are strictly nuclear. As such, it creates a situation where the biological parent is either the mother or father but not both. I pose the question of whether or not it is okay for a man or woman other than the biological parent to discipline the child?

Let’s look at dads who take on the responsibility of another man’s child with his girlfriend or wife. Do you feel that he should have a say in what the child does and whereabouts of the child? Should he be concerned with things relating to household chores, school and extracurricular activities? At the very least, he should feel respected by the child, no matter what. After that I think if he helps support the child, he should be able to apply discipline strategies. Whether that means taking away privileges, punishment where they are restricted from certain activities or getting a beating.

What’s Your Take?

In my opinion, I believe that the parents should come to an agreement and understanding of what that discipline should look like. And stand firmly on that without veering away from those rules. Of course, it will be different for every household but as long as the parents of the house are on the same page, I think it is possible for blended families to work and it can be so rewarding. What do you think?

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Do Fathers Get the Credit They Deserve?

Father’s Day Series, Part 2.

Do Fathers Get the Credit They Deserve?

The countdown is on. Only 1 week left to show those men how much they are appreciated. Do fathers get the credit they deserve? Fathers are very important and sometimes they do not get their deserved credit. People may say that they are supposed to be there for their children and take care of them. Indeed, but why not give them their flowers too?

Afterall, we all want to feel appreciated right? Yes, we do.

In honor of those special men, think about what they mean to you and the role they play in your life. What is special about your father that stands out and makes you want to extoll him? I’m sure you can come up with a few. Thinking about the moments in life that you and your father shared, how can you express your appreciation? Make sure that he knows what those moments mean to you. Additionally, remember to extend that gratitude long after June 16, 2024.

Is there is a memory or time that you most cherish with your father? It would be nice to recreate that moment and relive it all over again. If you cannot physically be with your dad, call him up and reminisce about that memory. I’m sure it would make him smile to know that you remembered it too and cherished the time just the same, if not more.

Dads don’t ask for much, they just want to know that their efforts are not in vain. It is nice to get a ‘thank you’ from someone. It lets them know how much they enjoyed an event or moment spent together. Although, we think they already know how we feel, nonetheless, say it anyway. Even if your dad is not be the sentimental type, and he likes gifts and/or gestures instead. Well, do that. He might want something as simple as watching a sporting event on television. He might want you to just spend time with him. And for the dads who like to receive gifts, make it possible for him. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant.

Some ideas to get you started on a gift that your dad will love:

  • Music lover- headphones or earbuds
  • Formal dresser- new tie, cologne, or cuff links
  • Carpenter types- new drill or tools for his tool box
  • Business man- new briefcase, new desk accessory, monogrammed pen set
  • Sports fanatic- tickets to a sporting event, personalized sports gift

Do fathers get the credit they deserve? What are your thoughts on the subject? Leave a comment and share your opinion.

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What Qualities Make up a Good Father?

Father’s Day Series, Part 1. What Qualities Make Up a Good Father?

Father’s Day this year, in 2024 is on June 16th. You still have time. Do not forget about this celebration. Fathers are very important and are a much-needed part of society and family. Sometimes, they do not get the recognition and are not celebrated like they should be. There is time to change that.

Also, the month of June is Men’s Health Awareness Month. Urge the men in your life to get a checkup. Even if they feel fine. Some medical conditions do not show up by symptoms and they may feel ok. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Part 1 of the Father’s Day Series is about what qualities make up a good father. A loving man who demonstrates the love of their child, a good listener, the man who shows interest in their child’s goals in life. Discipline and structure are also important.

Is it the one who is there emotionally and physically? The one who listens and talks to their children. The man that attends extracurricular activities. The one who actually spends time with their children.

Or is it the one who provides financially. He is the one who can buy clothes and food. Provide a home. But he is not around. He doesn’t invest time and/or effort. The father who writes the check but is absent otherwise.

What do you think is more important?

Of course, the child’s basic needs should be met. Is it too much to ask that the father provide and be there emotionally?

Fortunately, there are men out there that do just that. It doesn’t matter if the child lives in the same household or not. The man makes an effort to see his children and provides financially too.

June 16th let’s not forget Father’s Day. The day is coming up, there is still time. Show the dads out there that they matter and are loved and appreciated.

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Self Awareness Topic

Mental Health and Well Being

By now, most of you know that the month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month.  It is the time of year when we check in on our wellbeing. This includes psychological, emotional and physical health.   

What exactly is Mental Health? It is how you feel on a daily basis.  Your overall state of mind.  Are you happy, sad, depressed, feeling anxiety, etc.  Our state of mind determines how well we can adapt and deal with challenges that come our way.

Please know that mental health are two words that are healthy and not dirty words. Some people shy away or feel like those are forbidden words. The more we embrace the concept the better we can understand it. It can lead us to learn more about ourselves and learn to open our minds and hearts.  

How about we assess how we are doing mentally?  I propose an assignment for the next few days.  Keep a journal of how you are feeling. You can use your cell phone or write it in a journal, whichever you choose.  Note any events that caused a change in mood.  An event that made you happy or something that was stressful.   

The purpose is to take note of your general state of mind so that any concerning areas can be addressed.  Depending on how far or deeply you want to go, you can pursue counseling, behavior modification and lifestyle changes.  Try exercising, a change in your eating habits.  Getting on a regular sleep schedule.  Engaging in things that make you most happy.  If that means more social outings, then just do it! Get out more, socialize with friends, family, colleagues.  Your happy place might look very different in comparison to others. You might be most happy at the gym, working out or joining a Yoga class.  Maybe you are a dancer and like to join a Salsa class. 

Mental Health Awareness

  • A-Ask yourself the question, “How am I really feeling?”
  • W- Wake up with a spirit of hope
  • A- Aim to find the positive things in your day
  • R- Relax and be kind to yourself
  • E- Exercise forgiveness of others and yourself
  • N- Negativity has no place in your life
  • E- Express gratitude, be thankful
  • S- Say no when your plate is too full, and you are overwhelmed
  • S- Start looking at the glass as half full and build on that

The month is almost over but that does not mean that we should stop caring about our mental health. We need to be aware of our overall well being all year long. Start today and see what a difference it makes.

Within you is the power to control your happiness.  

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Self Awareness Topic Words of Wisdom

10 Reasons to Say, Thank You

10 Reasons to Say, Thank You

The words thank you come with so much gratitude and humility. Two words that are often overlooked and underused. I have found 10 reasons to say thank you.

10 reasons to say, thank you are:

Opening your eyes in the morning- you are able to live and see a new day

When someone holds the door open for you- it shows that there are
still courteous people out there

Receiving a compliment- the kind words may have been
just what you needed that day

Reaching into the refrigerator and finding something for
nourishment- a simple pleasure of life often taken for granted

When you really need someone to talk to and they answer the phone- you can now discuss what is on your mind and gain some valuable insight

When you have a reason to smile- life is short, relish those
moments

Having a friendly person who is willing to lend a listening ear-you can now vent and get something off your chest instead of internalizing it

When you have someone to share your life with- companionship is
very valuable and should not be taken lightly

Finding comfort in those closest to you- it is nice to have someone who can comfort you just by simply being in their presence

When you can find laughter even during those difficult times-
these are the times when laughter is the best medicine

I don’t know about you, but I can keep going with the list. How many more reasons can you come up with? Personalize the list and add to it or take some things away. Use it on a daily basis. Choose the ones that are most important to you.

As always, thank you for reading.

Categories
Topic Words of Wisdom

Sisterhood in Mourning

Is Sisterhood a thing of the past? 
Judgements and criticism 
Are the reasons I ask 
Maybe it is due to stigmatism 

Why not encourage and support 
Things that can only uplift and empower 
Let's form a coalition and abort 
Foul behaviors of those who cower 

At the thought of us celebrating each other 
Knowing that love conquers all 
Lifting sister’s up one after another 
Silently they are hoping that we will brawl 

Congratulate your sister, do not frown 
Judge not your sister, hold your horses 
Let us not divide with in-fighting, settle down 
Already are we deemed unfit by outside sources 

Incapable of being amicable to our kin 
Women, sisters, confidant and friend 
I ask again, is sisterhood a thing of the past? 
Something so vital cannot come to an end

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Self Awareness Topic

Risky Business of Complacency

One must not fall into complacency. It is the stuff that makes you stuck and stagnant. As humans, we are not meant to stay in the same place mentally or physically. Of course, our bodies and minds change over time with age. To be complacent means that you are self-satisfied and unaware of any deficiencies. Aloof, and smug also come to mind.

So, you can see that we must not fall into the trap. Being complacent puts us at risk. Again, risk of stagnation leaving no room for personal growth. This is not to say that once you set a goal and have obtained it that you have to continually keep setting more and more non-stop. No, just being aware that you have to work for your spot. You have to earn your position. Do not believe that your presence is all that is required.

COMPLACENT

Comfort, only, makes, people, lazy, and, creates, eternal, nonchalant, traits.

The world of today has a lot of entitlement. Some people feel that because they are popular and, on a sports team, for example, that they don’t have to do the work. Well, while they think their popularity will keep them on the team, there is someone else working up to taking their spot.

Another example is to feel that you can eat unhealthily for as long as you want because you have a thin stature. You have been lucky enough not to go into cardiac arrest due to clogged arteries. Take your health more seriously, and know that it is not a good idea to think it won’t happen to you.

Comfort is okay but only for so long. At some point, you have to intentionally do something uncomfortable. Something that you always felt that you could not do. Because if you stay in that comfort for too long, guess what comes with it? Complacency.

We are not meant to get to a certain place/time in our lives and just stop. If we happen to fall into this trap, we are missing out on many opportunities. It’s okay to pause and take breaks. Just being for the sake of being, yes.

Another analogy is when you successfully find the relationship you want. Then the things you did to attain the relationship stop once the relationship is going well. No, you must continue in order to sustain it.

How about that “diet” you started. Only to go back to those bad eating habits after you have made you weight goal. What do you think will happen next? Of course, that weight is coming back with a vengeance.

Things do not happen to or for us with little to no effort. We have to work for change and forward movement. It is only to our benefit. We cannot risk our health, hearts, body and minds to being complacent. If you feel yourself getting too comfortable, do something about it. Also remember to be kind to yourself in the process.

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Overshadow

Overshadow


Optimistically
Viewing
Everyone
Rallying
Surely
Having
Absolute
Determination
Optimizing
Wisdom

Overshadow was written in response to Sadje’s prompt, what do you see?

Image credit: Tom Barrett on Unsplash

Categories
Topic Words of Wisdom

I’ll Be Happy When…

I’ll Be Happy When…

 When I lose 15 pounds... 

Enjoy the journey of transformation and relish in the fact that you have the courage to make a change for your health

 When I get that promotion... 

Enjoy being a part of something for a bigger purpose.  The right opportunity will present itself when you are not looking 

 When I retire... 

Enjoy being able to sustain yourself and all the wonderful people you meet along the way 

 When I get a bigger house... 

Enjoy the amenities you have and being able to come home and close your own door having a peaceful place to lay your head 

 When I get a new car... 

Enjoy the independence of being able to get around and not having to stress about how you can move about  

 When I get a husband/wife... 

Enjoy your life and the people in it who show you love.  That husband/wife may be in your life right now, but you can’t see them with only one eye open.   


Just think about the now and all the moments that you are living in NOW.  We may never get that promotion, or bigger house or newer car.  Enjoy what you have now, tomorrow is not promised.  Be happy today!

Image by Michaela on Pixabay

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Self Awareness Topic Words of Wisdom

What it Really Means to Be a Boss

What it Really Means to Be a Boss

What does it mean to be a boss?  Excellent!  Outstanding! People have their own interpretation of the word.  Some people take it to the extreme.  Being a boss does not mean that you must be bossy. I know this is confusing. How can you be a boss and not be bossy?  

Easy.  Being a boss means that you have a level of control and stability.  You have control over your circumstances and things that you do in life.  You have stability in areas of your life that are important to you. What being a boss does not mean is bossing people around. Be the adjective of a boss and not the verb.  

I am speaking to women on this subject.  I think the colloquial term of being a boss, has gone too far.  People are taking this out of context, and it is starting to have adverse effects.  When you take your Boss self and start to do ugly things to people with your words and actions, do not be confused when people steer away from you.   

You do not have to be bossy to let people know that you are in control.  You do not have to be bossy to prove a point that you got this!  That you are your own person.  The boss in you will manifest itself. Others notice this and may or may not acknowledge it.

Green check mark sign png

What a boss does

  • Loves herself
  • Says no without guilt
  • Is financially stable
  • Calls the shots
  • Has courage to ask for help

What a boss is not and/or does not do

  • Judgmental
  • Treat others badly
  • Talk down to people
  • Arrogant
  • Boastful
hands holding a placard and a megaphone

You can still be a boss, while simultaneously being a mother, wife, and sister. Please remember that you can still be outstanding and excellent without the negative undertones. Do not forget that you can still show your feminine side and call the shots. Stand your ground and be classy about it.

However, it can get lonely when you become too ambitious. A few people may fall out of your life while you are busy being a boss. Check in on people that you might not have seen or spoken to in a while. Remember that everyone needs someone.

What do you say it really means to be a boss?

Can You Answer This? How Do You Measure Success?

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Self Awareness Topic Words of Wisdom

Did You Talk to Yourself Today?

Did you talk to yourself today as a reminder of how blessed you are? Tell yourself that no matter what happens you are still here. If you didn’t have the talk yet today, there is still time left.

Talk to yourself.

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Diversity Topic

Women’s History Month 2024-Equity, Diversity and Inclusion

Women who advocate for equity, diversity and inclusion. That is what Women’s History Month is about in 2024. Women are still having the same centuries old fight. It doesn’t make sense for it to be this way in such progressive times. But are we really living in progressive times?

“You cannot take your freedoms for granted. Just like generations who have come before you, you have to do your part to preserve and protect those freedoms.”

Michelle Obama

Let’s celebrate the women who are and have made a positive impact in the communities. Both local and afar. It takes courage and determination to answer the call to action. Forming comities, rallying together and just speaking on injustices is a great start.

March 8 is International Women’s Day. The theme this year is Inspire Inclusion.

We have women out there who have paved the way for advances we, as a country enjoy. Science, civil rights, film/theater, politics, sports, education, the arts and a plethora of disciplines is where women from all walks of life, have made their mark. Let us celebrate Ava DuVernay, Sally Ride, Serena Williams, Michelle Obama, Susan B. Anthony and a host of others.

Without their activism, and strength to pave the way, we may not have been able to accomplish some of the things we have today. Staying the course and speaking out against inequities against women must continue. We deserve to be included and treated fairly, so let’s not forget the work of those before us and the women who walk with us today on this journey.

“There will be resistance to your ambition, there will be people who say to you, ‘You are out of your lane.’ They are burdened by only having the capacity to see what has always been instead of what can be. “

Kamala Harris

Categories
Topic Words of Wisdom

Wake Up with a Smile

Wake up with a smile because you matter.

Yes, you matter! It doesn’t take away from who you are because you have imperfections. We all do.

Smile anyway because all humans are imperfect, living in an imperfect world.

Also, it doesn’t diminish you to lift up someone else. Especially, when you are not feeling your best. It can help lighten up your mood, by doing so.

Today and every day, wake up with a smile. Lift someone up. Embrace your imperfections.

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Info Topic

Sink or Swim

Sink or Swim

Swimming is good for your joints, cardio health and overall endurance. It is an easy and fun way to help burn calories and is not very rigorous. There are many forms of swimming to learn, and it is relaxing too. If you are not one who is interested in swimming, it is a good skill to know. Why? You can save the life of someone else or your own.

Some people love swimming for the pure leisure of it and some love the competitive nature of it as well. You can enjoy the water of the river, lake, pool or ocean. Just imagine being free out there in a body of water. Swimming is also very therapeutic for some common ailments.

You might feel that it is not important to learn how to swim. Just imagine, being trapped in your car in a body of water. What do you do? You get yourself out of that car and swim to safety. If you can’t swim and there is no one there to help, well, you get the idea.

Maybe you are at the pool with your children. You see someone who fell into the pool. This is the time when you can spring into action and save that person.

Consider getting swim lessons, even if you do not want to swim for sport, just to have this life saving skill is a plus. For those who do know how to swim but haven’t in a while, refresh your skills by taking lessons. I bet there is always something new you can learn.

Drownings happen but can be prevented. This is when the phrase, sink or swim comes to mind. What do you say? Do you think swimming is a good skill to have?

Image credit: MichaelM from Pixabay

Categories
Self Awareness Topic Words of Wisdom

Keep Going- Motivational Message

Keep Going

Motivational video message about perseverance. Continue on and do not give up on your dreams. Enjoy!