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Topic

Gun Violence- We Can Do Without It

Image by Brett Hondow from Pixabay

Gun violence continues to be a problem in this country. It is senseless killing and the loss of innocent lives that really makes the problem such a sore subject. Everyone has the right to bear arms and protect themselves and their families. The use of guns for robbing, stealing and inflicting harm on others is the ugly side of it all. It is sad when children are the victims of stray bullets, or anyone for that matter. How do you protect your children when they are home in their bed and struck by random bullets? Even if the child pulls through it changes the course of their lives forever.

Gun violence begs the question, how do you protect yourself and your children from being shot? It is not something you want to think about on a daily basis as you try to go about your life, but it is very real. Especially, when you are at home and a stray bullet comes through the walls or windows. You go to your car in the morning and its shot up with bullet holes. All you have to do is walk down the street and catch one just for being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

In my line of work, I regularly see the faces of these young children and teens who sustain gun shot wounds. It makes no sense that their lives are FOREVER changed due to gun violence. Some of them are now confined to a wheelchair, some are on crutches for a while, some are still able to walk. Depending on what organs were damaged will determine how much of their lives they get to enjoy from now on. Some unfortunately did not survive the violence by a gun. I just think to myself that this can be my child. Bullets don’t have names.

Guns In School

You ever wonder why kids are packing guns with their lunch these days? I know that some kids don’t have lunch; but they have a gun in their bookbag. It makes you wonder; if a child is bringing a firearm to school, is it because they are being bullied. Also, I wonder where they got the gun from. Maybe they are just showing off to their friends in an effort to fit in. Is the student involved in a gang? Whatever the reason, it makes me wonder what is wrong with this world. Why would a child feel the need to bring a weapon to school? Whatever the reason is, it has to stop.

Photo by Heather Mount on Unsplash

So should the answer be to install metal detectors at school? Maybe make the kids carry clear bookbags so that the contents are visible while at school? We all know that there are too many politics involved to actually make this a reality. And even if it did happen, would it make a difference? Is it enough?

Senseless Acts of Violence

Being shot over a gas pump at the gas station is not enough reason to justify a life being lost. Accidentally, stepping on someone’s sneaker is not a reason to be shot. Sitting on your porch or being in front of your building, minding your own business is not a reason to be shot. Brushing up against someone in a crowded room, is not a reason to kill someone.

Believe it or not, it happens more often than you think. There is no regard for life these days. Over the past two years, we have already lost and continue to lose people every day due to Covid-19 and then we add the number of people being killed by guns. Sometimes you don’t want to go out and enjoy life because something might pop off out of nowhere, and over something so small. It is not a good idea to live life afraid to go certain places, but it is a reality for some people.

Drive by Shootings

When drive by shootings happen a lot of times people who have nothing to do with the beef get hurt. An unfortunate fact but something we live with in this world. Consider yourself lucky if you haven’t been a victim of gun violence. The people who commit these crimes have no regard for who else will be affected by whatever drama they have going on. Usually, it is over something trifling, like whose block they on and all the other nonsense.

Road Rage

Everyone is in such a rush these days. Some are just plain rude and like to cut people off on the road because they think they can. It makes no sense to shoot someone because you think they stole your parking space. Maybe they were driving too slow and they wanted you out of the way. People, slow down!! Where ever you are going will still be there when you arrive. The goal is to arrive in one piece.

You may have looked at someone too long or in the wrong way and that person took offense. The next thing you know, you are minding your business at work and you get shot for something that was misinterpreted by the person who shot you. It has happened, this is not made up. People are so much in their feelings about small things and therefore just looking for a reason to jump. Why?! Get over yourself and just drive your car man! If I’m driving too slow, go around me. If I mistakenly cut over into your lane, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.

Conclusion

In my opinion, you shouldn’t have to worry about your child coming home from school. Wondering if they are going to make it through the day at school. They are there to learn but it seems that they have their safety to worry about too. What happened to worrying about if you are going to do well on a test? If you made it on the sports team or into a club at school? Now, you have to watch your back and hope nobody tests you in ways other than academically.

Do we need to equip everyone with bullet proof vests? Are all the stores going to install plexiglass? Maybe businesses will install metal detectors for all patrons coming into their establishment. Better or newer gun laws might help. Harder punishment for perpetrators of gun violence? More education about the proper use of guns might help to prevent accidental discharges. I’m not sure what the answer is but something has to change.

Categories
Topic

Eye Lashes, Brows, Lips, Butt and Fingernails

With all the airbrushing we see in magazines and online., there is a lot of pressure to try to look like these “unrealistic” images. Just use what you have naturally. There is nothing wrong with just being you. Sometimes we do too much in an effort to fit in. Come with me on this comical but true journey about some of the cosmetic changes we make. I know you will smile or laugh at yourself at least once. If none of these apply to you, at least you know someone who fits the description.

Eye Lashes

Left- Natural lashes Right- Extra-long falsies

Lashes, lashes and more lashes, you know who you are. Let’s talk about these extra-long eye lashes. Just one question; why? Are you looking for shade for your face? Why do your lashes need to be this long? I know you can’t wear sunglasses or any kind of eyewear with these long lashes. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have full lashes. But…when your eye lashes look like you have a caterpillar or roach on your eye lids, that ain’t cute! Stop it with these extra- long lashes, it’s too much. You are going to mess around and get those lashes caught in something then what are you going to do? We don’t need those problems.

Brows

Nicely shaped brows

On top of having full lashes, it is nice to have a neatly shaped brow. There are a few ways to get them into the shape you want to fit your face. Please remember that you DO NOT want to have the surprised look on your face. You know, when the brows are arched so high that you look surprised all the time… Come on now, admit that at least once you arched your brows too high. Tell the truth! But seriously, arch the brows but not so much so that you look like you are in amazement all day, every day.

Lips

If you have lips that are thin and you want them to look fuller, just try lipstick that has “plumper” added. There are a lot of shades on the market these days. But, when you get your lips injected with filler and your lips are abnormally big for your face; Houston we have a problem! You want your lips to look natural, not like they are swollen and you can stick a pin in them and they will deflate. Or so big that it looks like you had an allergic reaction to something. Also, when applying clear lip gloss; don’t put on so much that it looks like you stuck your face in a bucket of greasy chicken! Just use enough to cover the surface for moisturization. Remember, less is more.

THIS IS NOT THE LOOK YOU WANT

Butt

Now, some of us have a butt and some of us don’t. It’s okay. If you need a little extra cushion or padding, you can always buy butt pads. They look like a girdle but have the padding sewn into the butt area. It’s the same concept of a padded bra. The benefit of wearing butt pads is that you won’t need surgery to achieve the look you want. On the other hand, if you get butt injections to make your back side look bigger, be weary! Some people get too much and it looks so unnatural. If the rest of your body is not proportionate to the size of your butt, it will not look right. Just keep that in mind.

Fingernails

Left- Workable length Right- A little long, claw-like

Nails, nails and more nails. Whether you wear your natural nails, acrylic, gel or press-ons, let’s not get out of hand with the length. The nails are so long that they start to curl under or the press-ons are so long you can’t do certain things. It doesn’t matter how nicely the nails are painted with the colors and designs. You can still have the same look but with a length that is workable. The longer the nails the more germs get under the nail beds. It also makes it harder to perform regular hygienic tasks.

Beauty is important but let’s not sacrifice our health with the unhealthy fillers and injections we get for bigger lips and a bigger butt. The pressure is real, but it is not worth the harmful effects it can have on us later on. What do you say on the subject?

Categories
Info Self Awareness Topic

Mental Health

Check out Tha Du-Ja Show. This episode is about Mental Health.

Congratulations to Duquan Hicks and Aa-son Jasim for 1 year of their awareness podcast. Keep it up and much success to you both!!

Some of the topics they have covered include social injustice, dating, an interview with DJ Shakim, loose conversation, and the latest episode on Mental Health. Check out their YouTube channel, Tha Du-Ja Show to see other episodes. Enjoy!

Categories
Topic

Can You Answer This? What do you like most about your hometown?

What is the favorite thing you like about your hometown? Is it the people, music, energy, food or general overall feeling of home?

City people might say that they love the energy of their city, with all the hustle and bustle. On the other hand, if you are from the country or more rural area people might say that they like the peace and quiet of the environment. What is your take on what you like most about your hometown?

Categories
Self Awareness Topic

Women’s Health: Time to check these 5 things off your list

It’s time for us to check some health exams off of the list. If we don’t take care of ourselves we certainly can’t take care of everything else in life. Being a woman comes with a lot of responsibility. We owe it to ourselves to make sure that we both look and feel good. Kids, family, career, spouse/significant other are all very demanding. We can handle it though. It’s not easy but we can do it. We have days when we might not feel up to it and that is ok. But, keeping up on our health is important. If we don’t feel well it affects our quality of life.

Physical Exam

A yearly physical exam is usually performed at your primary care physician’s office. The doctor will check your vitals, blood pressure, pulse, and listen to your chest through the stethoscope. Also, they check your ears and eyes as well. Some PCPs will perform a breast exam, if you request it. At the physical the doctor will ask you general health questions about any medical family history of certain illnesses. This helps the provider assess your risk of developing health issues. Also, blood tests and/or urine tests will be done at this visit.

Why get a physical exam?

It helps to find out if there are medical issues that need to be addressed. You can learn things about your body like whether or not you are anemic, in which case you might need to take some kind of iron supplements or get the needed iron from food. You might have high blood pressure or maybe your blood sugar is too high or low. Just simple blood tests can help you determine if your cholesterol is too high. This testing can also detect any problems with your kidneys. After learning what your blood results are you can start to take steps to improve your health.

Depending on what the results show it may be a matter of changing your diet and/or exercise. Some conditions may require medication. But having these yearly physical exams keeps you informed about your health.

Mammogram

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

Breast health is very important for women. A mammogram is a radiology test that takes images of your breast tissue. It can detect whether you have healthy breast tissue or breast cancer. The actual test is not the most comfortable but at least, in most cases, you only have to have a mammogram once a year. Your healthcare provider can specify how often you will need to have this performed.

If you notice any changes in your breasts, like their appearance or the way they feel, it is worth it to get checked out. Self-breast exams at home are important too. This way you know what is normal for you and if something feels off, you will be able to recognize it.

Gynecology Exam

Image by therapractice from Pixabay

A gynecology exam is a pelvic exam to look at the reproductive organs. The exam can help to detect cancers like ovarian cancer or cervical cancer. Also, the gynecologist can visually look for any signs of thinning/thickening of the uterine lining. The vulva, vagina, uterus and cervix are the areas that will be examined. The provider can also see if you have fibroid tumors and/or any other abnormalities., like a cyst on the ovaries. A breast exam is also included in most gynecology exams. During this exam, a PAP smear is performed and sent to the lab. Usually, a gynecology exam is performed yearly and PAP smears done every 3 years, if normal. A PAP smear looks for any abnormal cells of the cervix.

Having a gynecology exam can be uncomfortable because a stranger is looking at the most intimate parts of your body. The reason it is important is for early detection of any serious illness. The sooner a potential problem is found, the sooner treatment can begin, if needed.

Eye Exam

For obvious reasons, eye exams are important. Good vision is essential if we are going to carry on in our day-to-day activities. Certain health conditions have an effect on our vision, so even more reason to have your eyes checked. Diabetes, high blood pressure, liver disease, sickle cell disease and shingles all play a part in how our eyes function. There are other factors too that contribute to poor eye health.

Malnutrition can also cause problems. If we are not eating right and getting the proper nutrients we need, it affects our overall health. Without the proper vitamins and minerals that we get from food, over time puts us at risk for developing macular degeneration.

Dental exam

Photo by Atikah Akhtar on Unsplash

Oral health is important. Especially, if you are a happy person and you like to smile a lot. You want your smile to be bright. Also, you want to have a healthy mouth and fresh breath. Routine dental exams are where we can start. Regular dental cleanings can detect any problems, like cavities, periodontal disease or maybe you have teeth that overlap and need braces.

We have all heard it; brushing at least twice a day, and flossing daily is the minimum we should do. Just pause and think about how often we actually floss… Brushing does not get all the “bad” things we need to reach between teeth. Flossing is a very important step but many of us skip this part or don’t do it as often as we should. I admit; I am one of these people.

If you notice swollen or red gums, bad breath, bleeding gums, these are all signs that something needs attention. Our oral health, if left unchecked can have negative consequences on our health. Inflammation in the mouth can let bacteria into the bloodstream and can lead to inflammation in other parts of the body. There is a correlation between gum disease and diabetes, heart conditions and respiratory problems.

You Matter

We only have one life to live so let’s make it a great one! In recognition of Women’s History Month, let’s do something for ourselves and keep our health in check. Now, if you are already up on all of these things, then you are definitely ahead of the game. Keep it up!

Categories
Topic Words of Wisdom

Positive Thought

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Categories
Diversity Topic

Can You Answer This? Name an inspirational woman still alive today.

Who is your inspiration?

Photo by Hal Gatewood on Unsplash

March is Women’s History Month and with that in mind, what woman would you say is an inspiration to you?

I’m going to be a little biased in my answer. My mother inspires me. She is understanding, kind, and strong. The love that she has shown over the years is why she inspires me. Just the lessons that she has taught me growing up and watching how she conducts herself. She has taught me a lot and her wisdom has shaped me into the woman I am today.

There are a lot of women who inspire me but too many to name. They have set an example of what is possible. I have highlighted a few.

Kamala Harris

Vice President of the United States. She is the first woman VP, also the first African American woman and South Asian woman to hold this office. If you have political aspirations, just look at what she has achieved. And know that it is possible for you too.

Serena Williams

Tennis star who started at a young age. She kept on keeping on even when people doubted her abilities. She speaks out about gender pay equality and racial equality as well. Her fearlessness is an inspiration to me.

Simone Biles

Gymnast who has won numerous world championship gold medals. Outside of her athletic abilities, she has partnered with Mattress Firm Foster Kids. This is a charity that helps kids in foster care. Simone Biles, in spite of being diagnosed with ADHD was able to persevere. Just goes to show that we all have something to deal with in life, but we must not let it hold us back.

Michelle Obama

Former First Lady. She is not afraid to let her truth show, even with the country watching her under a microscope. Also, her mission to help prevent obesity in children. Her initiative, Let’s Move focuses on physical activity and healthy eating in an effort to fight childhood obesity. Our children are the future, so what a better way to ensure that they grow up healthy.

Oprah Winfrey

Business woman, humanitarian and philanthropist. She implemented a school in South Africa for girls. She has won 2 humanitarian awards in 2002 and 2011. Oprah Winfrey has influenced people all over the world with her talk show and her various projects in show business.

Look at the wonderful things that women of the world can achieve!! Who would you name as your inspiration?

Categories
Info Topic

Domestic Violence

Enough is Enough

Photo by Baptista Ime James on Unsplash

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The theme for 2023 is Every1KnowsSome1. People in our lives may be in a domestic situation and we might not be aware of it. The situation is not evident, but DV happens more often than we think.

I would like to highlight a very serious and sensitive topic. Domestic violence, also called intimate partner violence. If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, please consider getting help! Do not suffer in silence.

Know the signs

  • If you are being put down or called names and insulted
  • Partner tries to stop or discourage you from seeing friends and/or relatives. Doesn’t want you to go to work or school
  • Shows physical violence by hurting you, your children or pets in the home
  • Partner is possessive and always makes accusations of you being unfaithful
  • Apologizes for their bad behavior and says it won’t happen again
  • Tries to control what you wear and where you go

Please see the number and link for more information.

1-800-799-7233

https://www.thehotline.org

Domestic Violence Enough is Enough was updated/October 2023

Categories
Topic

Behind the Screen of the Electronic Age

Image by Mariakray from Pixabay

Behind the screen of the electronic age

Behind the Screen of the Electronic Age (Audio only)

Once upon a time kids played outside. What happened to the days when kids talked to each other and made friends? The electronic age happened. The computer screen, tablet, cell phone screens all came into play. Back in the day, they didn’t have to know each other in order to play a game of hide and seek, jump rope, dodgeball, hopscotch, hand ball and the all the other games kids played. Since the internet and the electronic age, there is a lot less socialization. As a result, children have become too reliant on cell phones, tablets, computers and video games for their entertainment and socialization.

Everyone is behind a screen browsing the internet, watching videos and/or movies, texting or playing video games. No one talks to each other anymore face to face. It is crazy how you can have a room full of people sitting together but they are not talking to each other. Everyone has some kind of device in their hand staring at a screen. Not to mention people walking in the street looking like zombies with their phone in hand not looking where they are going. It’s dangerous, very dangerous!

Video Games

Video games provide some form of entertainment for kids. Kids need some kind of outlet. The problem comes in when they are on the game for hours on end. It is up to parents to limit the time spent playing these games. It hurts their vision the longer they use the game. It makes kids sit for long periods of time. As a result, they are not getting any physical activity. It lessens time spent in the real world talking and socializing in person.

Image by Romy Topf from Pixabay
Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Internet

The internet allows for accessing information quickly. No need to get in the car to go to the library to check out a book or look up something in an encyclopedia. Children can research information needed for homework and other school projects. The dark side to the internet is that there is so much information out there it is easy for kids to see inappropriate content. Just a few keystrokes and kids can be exposed to things that are not age appropriate.

Social Media

Social media, just like anything else on the internet has changed. In some ways for good and some ways bad. The good part of social media is that you can stay in contact with people who are across the country from you. You can find long lost relatives and friends without doing a lot of leg work.

Social media is also a good way to advertise your business. If you are a business owner, it is a great marketing tool. It is a lot faster than word of mouth advertising.

Social media is also a place where you can showcase your personal skills. If you have a hobby and create things in your spare time, what a better place to show that. You might be good at sewing and like to make clothes. Maybe you like to put outfits together and give people inspiration. You may be a good singer and want to post videos of yourself singing songs that you wrote.

You name it and you can do it on social media. There are so many platforms. Just keep in mind that there will be critics. When you put yourself out there, the critics will come. And, it’s ok. It’s ok because no matter who you are or what you do, there are always people hiding behind the screen. In my opinion, don’t write something about someone that you are not willing to say to their face. If you can’t say it in person, don’t write it.

Conclusion

The electronic age has made things easier for everyone. It is not all bad. You can accomplish a lot of things without leaving the house. It only gets problematic when too much time is spent staring at a screen. Especially, children who are so easily influenced. We need to be mindful and very watchful of what children view online.

The more time kids spend behind the screen, the less physical activity they get. This can result in them becoming overweight. They will lose much needed socialization skills the more time they are sitting on their computer and/or cell phones.

What can we do to get back to people and strike a balance between screen time and face to face interaction?

Categories
Diversity Topic

International Women’s Day

Image by Elf-Moondance from Pixabay
International Women’s Day Audio

March 8, 2022 is International Women’s Day. This month is also Women’s History Month. Let’s celebrate each other ladies!! What a wonderful way to truly bring light to women all over the world. Oftentimes, we do not get the recognition that we deserve. We are women, mothers, wives, business owners, providers, educators, nurturers and then some.

Sometimes we are overlooked for certain career opportunities. We are paid less than men, but we are just as valuable. We contribute as many ideas, hours and truly bring value to the workplace. Women are often seen as the “weaker” sex. I’m here to tell you that nothing can be further from the truth. We are just as capable as men in the world.

Even though we are nurturers we also hold our own in many, many ways. We wear many hats and are stronger than we look; both mentally and physically. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Don’t sleep on us because we look a certain way. Women have the capability to adapt to situations and rise above adversities in life.

I encourage every woman to let their light shine and don’t be afraid to stand tall and DO YOU!! Don’t dumb it down just so that everyone around you can feel comfortable. No, be YOU in all your glory, beauty and brains!

We have a lot to offer and that is why as women we need to continue to lift each other up. Not just in times of need but in every way that we can. You never know who you can encourage and lift up just by your kind words, smile and advice.

Categories
Diversity Topic

Black History in America

Photo by Oladimeji Odunsi on Unsplash

Black history month is almost over but that doesn’t mean that we stop making history. This is America; after all. Just because it’s almost March does not mean we stop remembering the contributions made by the black community. After the month of February we are still here and doing great things. Black history should be remembered and celebrated all year long.

Being African American, Black, Afro-Latino, Black American, American or however you identify yourself comes with great responsibility. I’m talking about having to work twice as hard and prove yourself worthy just for a seat at the table. Let’s be clear; we belong at the table! Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way. I’m talking about showing up and making sure that you don’t give people a reason to doubt who you are as a productive member of society.

I’m talking about making sure that as a black woman or black man you make people notice you and make your presence known. Stand up for what you believe in and make a difference. In doing so, you may not get recognition or a pat on the back. Don’t expect it because it’s not about that. You are using your gifts. That is satisfaction in itself. When you can say that you are holding your own in this world called America, that is enough.

We have done, are doing and will continue to do things that impact all people in a positive way. Not just the black community but the world as a whole benefits from the sacrifices and efforts made by the countless number of African Americans.

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash

Powerful black leaders and contributors

Harriet Tubman- She roughed it and helped so many out of enslavement. The Underground Railroad is how she helped a lot of people escape slavery. It was not an actual train but called underground due to the secrecy of the help she received along the way. Hidden compartments and secret hiding places is how she was able to make her escape and help others get away. Harriet Tubman braved the dangers for the betterment of black people. She was a soldier and very brave for what she did.

Malcolm X- By any means necessary! Does that sound familiar? If you have seen or heard him in action then you know he had a no-nonsense approach to the disparities going on at the time. He was not afraid to use a little muscle and manpower to get the job done. Malcolm X was a pillar of the Muslim community and fought for civil rights of his time.

Barack Obama- The 44th President of the United States of America. First African American president of the USA. This was not his first involvement in politics. He was also the senator of Illinois. During his presidency, Osama Bin Laden was located and killed. A terrorist who was on the run for many years. Also, President Obama turned the financial crisis around during his time in office. He brought back the troops from Iraq. Families were able to reunite. Unemployment numbers dropped also while he was in office. He helped businesses open up again and put people back to work. He truly believed his saying that, “yes we can”.

Martin Luther King, Jr- Dr. King who was also a prominent figure for civil rights, helped pave the way for so many. He had a non-violent approach in the way he handled things. Racial inequality, economic justice, voting rights were some of the things he fought for. It was Dr. King that said, “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”.

James Edward Maceo West- It was his childhood fascination with taking things apart and then putting them back together, that later gave birth to his invention of the foil style microphone. In 1999 he was inducted into the Inventors Hall of Fame for the electret microphone. The technology used for the electret microphone can also be found in everyday items such as, telephones, camcorders, computers, hearing aids and other electronics.

Madam CJ Walker- She was the first black self-made millionaire in America. Hair care products is how she accomplished her success. Some of the money she made from her hair care products was given back to the community. She donated money for scholarships for women at Tuskegee Institute. Also, she donated money to various other charities.

Black History in America

Entrepreneurs, inventors, civil rights leaders and activists, freedom fighters are just a few who can be attributed to African Americans. As you can see, we have made strides in this country and will continue to do so in order for future generations to continue the legacy of black history in America.

Categories
Topic

Hip Hop Music Culture Of the 80s and 90s

If you are from the Jersey or New York scene and of a certain age, then you know there was a lot of great music from those times. Also, some movies influenced and helped bring recognition to the hip hop culture of the 80s and 90s.

Think back to Krush Groove, Breakin, Juice, Beat Street, Wild Style, New Jack City just to name a few. Back in the days of the 80s and 90s we also had break dancing, roller skating, and a host of other things that came together with the music. I mean skating with 4 wheels, 2 in the front and 2 in the back. Not the in-line skates. We listened to music on a beat box- a big radio that had a handle on top to carry around on the block or to take outside and sit on the steps. Also, we had what was called a walkman- which was a portable music player. We played music on cassette tapes and vinyl records. CDs came on the scene later on down the line.

When I think back to hip hop music of the 80s and 90s these names come to mind:

  • LL Cool J-14 Shots to the Dome
  • MC Lyte-Lyte As a Rock
  • 3rd Bass-The Cactus Album
  • De La Soul- 3 Feet High and Rising
  • Chubb Rock- And the Winner is
  • EPMD- Strictly Business
  • Channel Live ft. KRS One- Mad Izm
  • Big Daddy Kane-Ain’t No Half-Steppin’
  • Mobb Deep-Survival of the Fittest
  • Cypress Hill-Black Sunday
  • Special Ed-I Got It Made
  • Big Pun -Still Not a Player
  • Queen Latifah-All Hail the Queen
  • King Sun- Righteous But Ruthless
  • Mad Lion- Take It Easy
  • Salt N Pepa-Hot Cool Vicious
  • Lil Kim-Hard Core
  • Foxy Brown- Ill Na Na
  • Brand Nubian-One For All
  • Nice and Smooth-Nice & Smooth
  • Run DMC-Tougher Than Leather
  • Onyx-Bacdafucup
  • Method Man- Tical
  • Public Enemy-Don’t Believe the Hype
  • Fat Joe- Jealous One’s Envy
  • DMX-It’s Dark and Hell is Hot
  • Mary J Blige-What’s the 411?
  • Missy Elliott- Supa Dupa Fly
  • The Notorious BIG- Ready to Die
  • Craig Mack- Flava in Ya Ear
  • The Lox- Money Power Respect
  • Nas- It was Written
  • Eric B and Rakim-Paid in Full
  • Jay Z-Reasonable Doubt
  • Snoop Doggy Dogg-Doggystyle
  • Tribe Called Quest-Bonita Applebum
  • KRS One-Return of the Boom Bap
  • Dr. Dre- The Chronic
  • Eminem-Slim Shady LP

Back in those days there was a sense of community. You could go out for the day with your family and hear some good music in the street. People would be on the train and bus with their boom box and you can jam all day long, no matter where you went. In Washington Square Park in NYC, you would see people out there skating, some with their headphones on and others listening to people playing music on buckets with their sticks. Families just out taking in the sounds and sights.

Liberty State Park in Jersey City, NJ was another place where you could go and chill with your family. Take in the view of the water, Staten Island Ferry and Lady Liberty. You could also find good street food back in those days too. Think Sabrett Hot Dogs and Grape soda.

Another place to go to hear good music was Exchange Place or the Waterfront in Jersey City. Also, on the water. It was much smaller but still you could get a good vibe and hear people playing music out there too.

Lastly, Central Park in NYC you could go there and walk around. Hear music, see people on their skates and riding bikes. Just having a jam session all day.

You didn’t even have to get on the train or bus, you can go on the block and hear some head bangers. If the music wasn’t coming from somebody’s radio you would hear it in cars driving by. It was an experience back in the 80s and 90s.

If you don’t know these artists, please look them up and listen. A lot of this music is still relevant today.

Hip hop music today is not the same. There is a lot of what I call “mumble rap”. Not to say that there aren’t some new artists out there that are good but it is just not the same.

RESPECT

Rest in peace to the ones who left their stamp on the Hip Hop Music Culture:

Jam Master Jay

Prodigy

ODB- Ol’ Dirty Bastard

Craig Mack

Biz Markie

Biggie

2 Pac

Big Pun

Phife Dawg

DMX

My memory is only but so long, so no dis to anyone that I forgot. If you can think of someone not on the list, leave a comment and let me know.

Categories
Words of Wisdom

Quote

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Categories
Topic

Can You Answer This? When do you draw the line?

When do you draw the line between helping people and showing them how to help themselves?

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

We all need help from time to time. There is nothing wrong with that. But; sometimes people try to take advantage of your good nature by trying to get you to do this and that for them. Instead of attempting to do something for themselves.

I am not talking about elderly people, small children or people who cannot physically or mentally do for themselves. I’m talking about grown adults.

When we help each other, it feels good. It’s a win-win situation for everyone. The problem comes in when the person on the receiving end tries to abuse the situation. It is at these moments when we have to pause and think. Sometimes it is best to show someone or tell someone the steps they need to take to achieve what they want. It might not feel like a good thing at the time, and you might feel like it is easier to just do it for them. Not in every situation. You have to create a balance. Only you know when you have reached that point.

When it comes to able bodied individuals, they have to learn to do some things for themselves at some point in life. Being an enabler and allowing people to drain you for this or that is not helping you or the other person. Life is about trial and error. The only way we grow and learn in life is to experience things. These things may not always be comfortable, but we get through it and keep it moving.

So, when do you stop and say enough is enough? Do you run yourself ragged until you have nothing left or do you recognize that this is too much and draw the line? Everyone is different and some people have a higher tolerance for others who may be more dependent. Some people may feel that if they stop doing something for someone else, it might cause hurtful feelings.

What do you say on this subject?

Categories
Topic

4 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong

Relationships = C.A.R.E.

Communication

Affection

Responsibility

Effort

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Relationships=Communication

Relationships need communication. I know, I know how many times do we hear this? A lot. Even though we often hear how important communication is, how often are we actually doing it? In order to keep our relationship healthy and keep communication open, we have to talk to each other. We cannot assume our husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other knows what we are thinking or how we feel. Do not expect your partner to work a miracle by whipping out the crystal ball to enter the depths of your brain. It is not going to happen. If you keep feelings inside and do not speak up for yourself, you will never get what you want in life. You have to advocate for yourself; if you don’t who will?

In a relationship, it is important to talk about the everyday things as well as the deeper issues. Every relationship will have its ups and downs. The best way to work through any problem is to talk. It won’t be easy all the time, but the important thing is that you hear each other. Not saying that you will always agree, but at least listen to each other. Obviously, you value this person, so at least take the time to listen to the other’s point of view. When you love and care for someone, you will want to give that extra attention.

When an issue comes up and you feel a certain way about it; speak on it. I know that everyone is not easy to talk to, but this is where you will have to be creative and find the best way to approach the situation. If you already know that a frying pan will be coming across the side of your head, obviously you want to talk in a public place. Do not attempt a difficult conversation at home when it’s just the two of you. This is, of course an extreme example.

Relationships=Affection

Affection comes in more than one form. It can be physical, spoken or by way of deeds. We are human and we all need love. If you are a tactile person; meaning you like the physical touch and are hands on, naturally you will be more prone to the physical form of affection. You may prefer to hold hands in public or at home while watching a movie. You may like to hug a lot. Maybe you like to kiss. Also, sex may be your primary form of affection. Let your partner know what you like. If you don’t, you may start to feel neglected when you don’t get those hugs or kisses, you might feel that your partner doesn’t love you.

On the other side of that, you may not be a touchy-feely person or affectionate at all. You might not like holding hands or being touched all the time. You may not enjoy the embrace of a hug. Whatever your style of affection, make it known to your partner. This goes back to communication. If you are not affectionate but your partner always wants to hug, you might feel smothered. We use affection as a way to show our love and attraction to our partner. Be it a physical or mental attraction. Often, it’s both physical and mental.

Affection can also be spoken. You can show your affection by giving your partner a compliment. Also, by being supportive of your partner’s successes and accomplishments are another way to show affection. Celebrating your partner’s wins, no matter how big or small. You may think the other person doesn’t notice or appreciate but it goes a long way.

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Relationships=Responsibility

Relationships come with some level of responsibility. Our actions can make or break a relationship. That’s why we have to come with some “act right”. If we own up to our …ISH and admit when we are wrong or may have made a misstep. it makes things a lot easier. We have to know that our relationship will only grow when we are making positive moves and treating our partner with respect. On the other hand, when we are not being respectful, we have to know that it will definitely cause static. Static that we might not be able to fix.

There is no such thing as a perfect person so there will be no perfect relationship. Taking responsibility for being respectful and trustworthy only adds to the value of the relationship. It makes the union last longer and more enjoyable for both parties involved. Take pride in knowing that you can hear the smile of your partner on the other end of the phone because they feel valued. Take pride in knowing that your partner wants to see you after a long day at work. The reasons are because you make your partner feel that you are present and you care and love them.

Being responsible means that you understand how to conduct yourself in a way that doesn’t offend your partner. If you are in the streets a lot and do not spend time together, that is not cool. There has to be a balance.

Relationships=Effort

Effort must be applied in a relationship or it will not stand a chance. Not saying that all relationships will be successful but you have to put some work in. Just like you show up for your job to ensure you get paid. Think of your relationship the same way. Put that work in! Put the conscious effort into your relationship like you would your job, but only the relationship is more fun and rewarding.

You know you are in a healthy relationship when you look forward to seeing your partner. When they call you, they can hear you smiling on the other end of the phone. You get excited to go home to your partner. If this is not the case for you just ask yourself, what can I do to make things better? What is missing in the relationship? One way to find out is to ask your partner. Maybe talk to someone you trust who may be able to give some good advice.

The one thing you don’t want to happen is to take each other for granted. Don’t just go through the motions. Put the electronics down and engage each other. Step away from the TV. Go for a walk together. Ladies dust off the lingerie. Fellas put on some cologne. Romance each other. Don’t be lazy with the sex. Your partner is not going to dig into their bag of tricks when you are not putting in effort.

Keep the Spice Going

  • Think back to when you first met and plan something that you both liked to do in the early stages of the relationship.
  • Go on a date night, maybe where you had your first date. If not the first date, then someplace different from where you usually go.
  • Tell your partner you love them.
  • Surprise your partner with a “thinking of you” card and write something in it. Yes, I said a greeting card from the store. And, yes, write something nice in your own writing. Be genuine with your words. (Don’t send a text, I see you :-))
  • Do something nice for your partner. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. Give him/her a foot rub or body massage.
  • Cook a romantic meal complete with music, candles and lighting. You know what to do.
  • Just think back to what attracted you to your partner in the first place and go from there.
  • Surprise your partner with a gift, just because.

Take care of your relationship and it will take care of you.