Tag: communication

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Kinesics: Tells of Your Emotions

Kinesics or better known as non-verbal communication. This includes facial expressions, body language, and posture. Whether we know it or not we communicate in many ways. It may just be habit and it can also be intentional. Let’s look at some ways that we communicate without saying a word. Tone of voice is another way to express our emotions.

Kinesics Definition & Meaning – Merriam-Webster

Folded Arms

Folded arms can be interpreted as being close minded, or anti-social, disinterested or aloof. When we see people with their arms folded, we view them as unhappy or defensive. In reality, that person may just be cold and are folding their arms trying to stay warm. Are you buying it? Well, it could be true. Since we are not mind readers, we will never know.

Smiling

A smile tells a lot. If you see someone with a smile on their face it would indicate that the person is happy. They do not have to say a word. It is all over their face. You can even also read a smile in a telephone conversation. Smiling is seen as a positive gesture and would indicate that someone is approachable, happy, open and nice.

Did you know? Smiling relieves stress and elevates mood.

Eyes looking downward

In conversation, a person who avoids eye contact and looks down may be deceitful. They are hiding something. If their eyes shift downward when asked about something or talking about something uncomfortable, watch the eyes. Downward eyes can also indicate someone who is embarrassed or ashamed.

Standing up straight

Good posture, such as sitting or standing up straight shows confidence. You are occupying space in a positive way. Slouching, on the contrary may show boredom or disinterest. It can also indicate that one who is slouching is tired.

Hand on the hip

Gesturing with hands on the hip can be seen as a challenge. The person showing this sign may be upset or defiant. This is usually not a positive non-verbal gesture. However, depending on the context, using both hands on the hip may be showing power or assertion.

Leaning in and/or tilting head to one side

This gesture can show that you are interested in what others are saying. Leaning in should not be to the extent of invading the other person’s space. Just enough to show that you are paying attention. In addition, tilting the head to one side shows that you are concentrating and are genuinely interested in what the person is saying.

Frowning

One of the most used and most obvious, is frowning. When you see someone frowning, you can imagine that the person is not happy. They are showing their displeasure by frowning. To the ladies out there who walk around frowning, be aware that this makes you unapproachable. No one wants to speak to you or approach you with a scrunched up or frowning face. Just be conscious of this and correct it when you feel yourself doing this. You would be surprised what a difference it makes in your interactions, mood and experiences with others.

Kinesics: Tells of Your Emotions

As you can see, we communicate both verbally and non-verbally. It is important to be aware of this, so not to unintentionally present with the wrong idea. Of course, we cannot control how others perceive us. We can control how we present ourselves in the most flattering light. A simple facial expression can change the trajectory of an otherwise, healthy and positive interaction.

Tone of voice is also important. If we speak to people in a disrespectful way or with arrogance, people will perceive us in that way. If you speak in an even tone and unassuming manner, we will be perceived as open and easy to talk to. How do you communicate?

Image credits:

  • Jackson David on Pixabay
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  • Robin Higgins on Pixabay
  • Sewupari Studio on Pixabay
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Text or call, how do you communicate?

Should I text or call? It can be hard to decide these days with so many technological choices we have. Smartphones are an everyday staple. Features on cell phones give us many options of communicating. You know that saying, “there’s an app for that”. Well, it is true. With so many different platforms and ways to reach people, it can sometimes be a hard decision about how to relay a message.

A text is quick and convenient, but not always appropriate for what you want to say. Texts are very impersonal and may seem like the better way to send a message that you do not want to deliver in person. Just think about how you would want to receive a piece of news. Depending on what you want to say, a text may be totally fine. However, if it is life-changing, personal or sensitive in some other way, a phone call is necessary.

The choice to text or call is governed by the age group of people using technology these days. A large number of older people prefer to communicate by phone. They don’t have time to try to figure out the texting feature. Then again, there are some pretty savvy seniors that can keep up with the best of texters. The younger generation mostly uses text. To the point that they text people who are in same room with them.

Calling allows the other person to hear your voice and also note the tone of the message you are giving. With a text, you don’t know the tone at all and can easily misunderstand. Emoji’s can help to clarify your tone in a text but those are ambiguous at times and not everyone uses them the same way.

Texting

Texting a friend
Image by Mahbub Hasan from Pixabay

Advantages to texting include having a written record of conversations, should you need it later. Very quick and convenient, can be done from anywhere. You can reach multiple people in group chat and not have to dial everyone individually. With a text, you have time to think about your answer and do not have to reply immediately. Texting allows you to communicate with someone privately without disturbing others around you. They will not hear you talking; although they may hear the clicking while the text is being sent. Downsides are that you can text something sensitive to the wrong person. And guess what; you cannot take it back. Once you hit the send button, it’s gone into the universe. Another example is that you might be joking about something, but the receiver takes it as serious. This results in causing confusion and/or misunderstanding.

Calling

Calling with good news
Image by Mahbub Hasan from Pixabay

Advantages of making a call is that you can hear the inflection in the voice of all parties on the call. This allows you to gauge whether the person is joking or being serious. There is no confusion here. You get to say more on the phone as opposed to trying to send a long message by text. It makes it easier and clearer when talking to someone, especially if you have follow-up questions. Disadvantages to calling are that if the person you are calling does not answer right away you have to leave a message, hoping they get back to you. Also, calling means having to rely on memory. An example is when you may have told someone a certain detail, only for them to forget it later. They have no written transcript or text to refer back to. Phone calls also put people on the spot. With voice calls, you have no time to think about a response since the conversation is in real time.

Situations

  • You are at home cooking and realize you need milk. Do you call or text your partner to pick up the milk on the way home?
  • Your date was being a real jerk last night. Do you text him/her to let them know about themselves or do you call?
  • The company is downsizing, and you have to lay someone off. Do you send a text or call?
  • After a blind date you know it will not work out. Do you text or call?
  • The neighbor’s son/daughter was in a part of town, you know they should not be. Do you call their parents or text them to voice your concern?
  • While out shopping, you spot something that you think your best friend will love! Do you text or call?

I think the way to communicate something depends on a few factors. It depends on the severity of the news, the person who will receive it and also the person delivering the message. Some things can be either a text or call, but you can gauge the situation and decide which method is best.

Text or call, how do you communicate?

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4 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong

Relationships = C.A.R.E.

Communication

Affection

Responsibility

Effort

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Relationships=Communication

Relationships need communication. I know, I know how many times do we hear this? A lot. Even though we often hear how important communication is, how often are we actually doing it? In order to keep our relationship healthy and keep communication open, we have to talk to each other. We cannot assume our husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other knows what we are thinking or how we feel. Do not expect your partner to work a miracle by whipping out the crystal ball to enter the depths of your brain. It is not going to happen. If you keep feelings inside and do not speak up for yourself, you will never get what you want in life. You have to advocate for yourself; if you don’t who will?

In a relationship, it is important to talk about the everyday things as well as the deeper issues. Every relationship will have its ups and downs. The best way to work through any problem is to talk. It won’t be easy all the time, but the important thing is that you hear each other. Not saying that you will always agree, but at least listen to each other. Obviously, you value this person, so at least take the time to listen to the other’s point of view. When you love and care for someone, you will want to give that extra attention.

When an issue comes up and you feel a certain way about it; speak on it. I know that everyone is not easy to talk to, but this is where you will have to be creative and find the best way to approach the situation. If you already know that a frying pan will be coming across the side of your head, obviously you want to talk in a public place. Do not attempt a difficult conversation at home when it’s just the two of you. This is, of course an extreme example.

Relationships=Affection

Affection comes in more than one form. It can be physical, spoken or by way of deeds. We are human and we all need love. If you are a tactile person; meaning you like the physical touch and are hands on, naturally you will be more prone to the physical form of affection. You may prefer to hold hands in public or at home while watching a movie. You may like to hug a lot. Maybe you like to kiss. Also, sex may be your primary form of affection. Let your partner know what you like. If you don’t, you may start to feel neglected when you don’t get those hugs or kisses, you might feel that your partner doesn’t love you.

On the other side of that, you may not be a touchy-feely person or affectionate at all. You might not like holding hands or being touched all the time. You may not enjoy the embrace of a hug. Whatever your style of affection, make it known to your partner. This goes back to communication. If you are not affectionate but your partner always wants to hug, you might feel smothered. We use affection as a way to show our love and attraction to our partner. Be it a physical or mental attraction. Often, it’s both physical and mental.

Affection can also be spoken. You can show your affection by giving your partner a compliment. Also, by being supportive of your partner’s successes and accomplishments are another way to show affection. Celebrating your partner’s wins, no matter how big or small. You may think the other person doesn’t notice or appreciate but it goes a long way.

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Relationships=Responsibility

Relationships come with some level of responsibility. Our actions can make or break a relationship. That’s why we have to come with some “act right”. If we own up to our …ISH and admit when we are wrong or may have made a misstep. it makes things a lot easier. We have to know that our relationship will only grow when we are making positive moves and treating our partner with respect. On the other hand, when we are not being respectful, we have to know that it will definitely cause static. Static that we might not be able to fix.

There is no such thing as a perfect person so there will be no perfect relationship. Taking responsibility for being respectful and trustworthy only adds to the value of the relationship. It makes the union last longer and more enjoyable for both parties involved. Take pride in knowing that you can hear the smile of your partner on the other end of the phone because they feel valued. Take pride in knowing that your partner wants to see you after a long day at work. The reasons are because you make your partner feel that you are present and you care and love them.

Being responsible means that you understand how to conduct yourself in a way that doesn’t offend your partner. If you are in the streets a lot and do not spend time together, that is not cool. There has to be a balance.

Relationships=Effort

Effort must be applied in a relationship or it will not stand a chance. Not saying that all relationships will be successful but you have to put some work in. Just like you show up for your job to ensure you get paid. Think of your relationship the same way. Put that work in! Put the conscious effort into your relationship like you would your job, but only the relationship is more fun and rewarding.

You know you are in a healthy relationship when you look forward to seeing your partner. When they call you, they can hear you smiling on the other end of the phone. You get excited to go home to your partner. If this is not the case for you just ask yourself, what can I do to make things better? What is missing in the relationship? One way to find out is to ask your partner. Maybe talk to someone you trust who may be able to give some good advice.

The one thing you don’t want to happen is to take each other for granted. Don’t just go through the motions. Put the electronics down and engage each other. Step away from the TV. Go for a walk together. Ladies dust off the lingerie. Fellas put on some cologne. Romance each other. Don’t be lazy with the sex. Your partner is not going to dig into their bag of tricks when you are not putting in effort.

Keep the Spice Going

  • Think back to when you first met and plan something that you both liked to do in the early stages of the relationship.
  • Go on a date night, maybe where you had your first date. If not the first date, then someplace different from where you usually go.
  • Tell your partner you love them.
  • Surprise your partner with a “thinking of you” card and write something in it. Yes, I said a greeting card from the store. And, yes, write something nice in your own writing. Be genuine with your words. (Don’t send a text, I see you :-))
  • Do something nice for your partner. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. Give him/her a foot rub or body massage.
  • Cook a romantic meal complete with music, candles and lighting. You know what to do.
  • Just think back to what attracted you to your partner in the first place and go from there.
  • Surprise your partner with a gift, just because.

Take care of your relationship and it will take care of you.