Tag: couples

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Topic Words of Wisdom

Love Is in the Air for Couple Appreciation Month

Image by NoName_13 from Pixabay

April is Couple Appreciation Month. What a better time of year to let love blossom. After all, April is the month when the flowers bloom and so can the love a couple shares with each other. Not to say that when April is over you go back to being “extra” or whatever version of yourself you were all year long. Just joking, just joking. It’s ok to smile. But, you get my meaning.

Being coupled up is a beautiful thing and has its advantages. You get to share a part of your life with someone. All the moments that make you smile, laugh, cry. You get to celebrate each other. Be it for business successes or other personal milestones in life. When you had a not so nice day, you get to be hugged and comforted by your loved one. You get to create memories together.

April is halfway over so if you haven’t been showing appreciation for your “better half”, there is still time left. I would like to think that when the first of May comes, you continue on. Let the appreciation and love flow throughout the year.

Why is showing appreciation important or even necessary?

  • Appreciation is a form of love
  • It does not cost anything to show it
  • Simple gestures are sometimes, the things that keeps couples together
  • Showing appreciation is unique to each couple
  • It opens doors to more possiblilities and growth in the relationship

Just think about how you felt the last time your partner showed appreciation to you. How did it make you feel? I bet it made you smile and feel loved. Appreciation for your mate is just another extension of your love for that person. Think about something that your partner likes to do or something they enjoy. Make it possible for him/her. Just because. It does not have to be for a special occasion. And do it, without them asking.

Do those things that you haven’t done for a while. Even the ones you can’t talk about out loud; you know those intimate secrets. Go back to your first date or a first for your relationship. Remind your partner of those things that make you smile and the things that you love about them.

Appreciation is in everyone’s budget. There is no excuse. I hear some of you trying to talk yourselves out of this. Just get out of your comfort zone and take the time, take the time; I’ll say again. Take the time. You won’t regret it. Life is short. Enjoy each other.

Here is a list to get you started

  • Make a homemade romantic dinner
  • If you can’t cook, go out to a nice restaurant. Get dressed up and make a night of it.
  • Re-create the most enjoyable date you had in the beginning of the relationship. You know the one where you had “butterflies” in your stomach.
  • Gift your partner their favorite flowers, perfume/cologne
  • Give a sensual massage. Fill in the blanks.
  • Put your dancing shoes on and go out for some dancing and music
  • Go away for a weekend trip, if this is in the budget
  • Take your partner out for a surprise lunch
  • Recite an original poem or spoken word piece about your special someone
  • Remind him/her of all the reasons you fell in love
  • Create a new memory to show your appreciation for the relationship

Hopefully, these items can get you off to a good start. Whatever you do, make it special. Love should be celebrated not just for birthdays, anniversaries, Black Love Day, Valentine’s Day and the like. Every human on this earth needs love. So, show yours in your own unique way and I wish you all a wonderful Couple Appreciation Month.

4 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong

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Topic

What Comes First, Mortgage or Marriage?

Photo by Kindel Media on Pexels

Buying a house is a major purchase, probably one of the biggest financial obligations you can have. There are many benefits to buying a home. You get to grow equity in your home provided that regular maintenance is kept up. Purchasing a house gives you the joy of home ownership with knowing that you are not wasting money by paying rent. A lot of freedoms come with buying a home; you can design it from the ground up, pick your lot and choose the interior features that are unique to you. A house that is already built is just as rewarding. You can always make it your own and do with it what you want.

With that in mind, is it a good idea for unmarried couples to buy a home together? After all, you are in a happy relationship what can go wrong? It can be tempting because of the convenience of buying something together. Having someone to help with the mortgage. Also, the both of you can split the house chores. You both enjoy coming home to each other to something that you own. Both of you can create a space all your own like a man cave or she shed, home office, game room or whatever space you choose.

Is it a good idea for unmarried people to buy a home together?

REASONS TO SAY, “HELL, YES!”

A large part of the younger generation who are not interested in marriage would say, Hell Yes! Why not? We are in love and have been in a committed relationship, so why not?

We love each other and plan on being together for a long time. Why complicate things with getting married first?

We both work and have steady income. As long as we both have a job, we can afford the home purchase.

We are tired of wasting money on renting a place. Let’s do something together that will build equity.

Expenses can be split down the middle. We don’t have to foot the bill all alone. We can split the down payment, closing costs, mortgage, taxes, HOA association fees (if applicable), maintenance cost to upkeep the home, repair costs, etc.

Our friends are doing it, so why can’t we? What’s the worse that can happen?

REASONS TO SAY, “HELL, NO!”

Who will get to keep the house, if we break up? Emotions are running high, so this will just complicate things even more.

If we break up, how are we going to divide everything? Who gets the living room furniture, the bedroom set, the kitchen appliances, etc.

Without the legal document, called a marriage license it is hard to sort out these things when/if the relationship goes bad. It is much easier to get into the mortgage contract than to get out of one.

What happens when one of you decides that they want out of the financial obligations and the relationship? Can you carry the financial load alone or will the house go into foreclosure? Foreclosure does not do any good for your credit history.

WEIGH IN ON THE SUBJECT

What do you say, should a couple marry before purchasing a home together?
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I know it sounds good and feels good to make such a huge step together. Love is blind and we don’t always think about the “what if we break up” scenario. This is real and these things need to be considered. At least if you are married and things don’t work out, that piece of paper makes things a lot easier.

Not saying that every unmarried couple who buys a house together will break up. Things may work out just fine. All I’m saying is that a couple should consider the options before entering into such a big financial obligation. Don’t be that couple who ends up on one of those TV court shows, expecting the judge to figure it out and sort through it. I’m joking, but I’m not joking. You get the point.

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Topic

4 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong

Relationships = C.A.R.E.

Communication

Affection

Responsibility

Effort

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Relationships=Communication

Relationships need communication. I know, I know how many times do we hear this? A lot. Even though we often hear how important communication is, how often are we actually doing it? In order to keep our relationship healthy and keep communication open, we have to talk to each other. We cannot assume our husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other knows what we are thinking or how we feel. Do not expect your partner to work a miracle by whipping out the crystal ball to enter the depths of your brain. It is not going to happen. If you keep feelings inside and do not speak up for yourself, you will never get what you want in life. You have to advocate for yourself; if you don’t who will?

In a relationship, it is important to talk about the everyday things as well as the deeper issues. Every relationship will have its ups and downs. The best way to work through any problem is to talk. It won’t be easy all the time, but the important thing is that you hear each other. Not saying that you will always agree, but at least listen to each other. Obviously, you value this person, so at least take the time to listen to the other’s point of view. When you love and care for someone, you will want to give that extra attention.

When an issue comes up and you feel a certain way about it; speak on it. I know that everyone is not easy to talk to, but this is where you will have to be creative and find the best way to approach the situation. If you already know that a frying pan will be coming across the side of your head, obviously you want to talk in a public place. Do not attempt a difficult conversation at home when it’s just the two of you. This is, of course an extreme example.

Relationships=Affection

Affection comes in more than one form. It can be physical, spoken or by way of deeds. We are human and we all need love. If you are a tactile person; meaning you like the physical touch and are hands on, naturally you will be more prone to the physical form of affection. You may prefer to hold hands in public or at home while watching a movie. You may like to hug a lot. Maybe you like to kiss. Also, sex may be your primary form of affection. Let your partner know what you like. If you don’t, you may start to feel neglected when you don’t get those hugs or kisses, you might feel that your partner doesn’t love you.

On the other side of that, you may not be a touchy-feely person or affectionate at all. You might not like holding hands or being touched all the time. You may not enjoy the embrace of a hug. Whatever your style of affection, make it known to your partner. This goes back to communication. If you are not affectionate but your partner always wants to hug, you might feel smothered. We use affection as a way to show our love and attraction to our partner. Be it a physical or mental attraction. Often, it’s both physical and mental.

Affection can also be spoken. You can show your affection by giving your partner a compliment. Also, by being supportive of your partner’s successes and accomplishments are another way to show affection. Celebrating your partner’s wins, no matter how big or small. You may think the other person doesn’t notice or appreciate but it goes a long way.

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Relationships=Responsibility

Relationships come with some level of responsibility. Our actions can make or break a relationship. That’s why we have to come with some “act right”. If we own up to our …ISH and admit when we are wrong or may have made a misstep. it makes things a lot easier. We have to know that our relationship will only grow when we are making positive moves and treating our partner with respect. On the other hand, when we are not being respectful, we have to know that it will definitely cause static. Static that we might not be able to fix.

There is no such thing as a perfect person so there will be no perfect relationship. Taking responsibility for being respectful and trustworthy only adds to the value of the relationship. It makes the union last longer and more enjoyable for both parties involved. Take pride in knowing that you can hear the smile of your partner on the other end of the phone because they feel valued. Take pride in knowing that your partner wants to see you after a long day at work. The reasons are because you make your partner feel that you are present and you care and love them.

Being responsible means that you understand how to conduct yourself in a way that doesn’t offend your partner. If you are in the streets a lot and do not spend time together, that is not cool. There has to be a balance.

Relationships=Effort

Effort must be applied in a relationship or it will not stand a chance. Not saying that all relationships will be successful but you have to put some work in. Just like you show up for your job to ensure you get paid. Think of your relationship the same way. Put that work in! Put the conscious effort into your relationship like you would your job, but only the relationship is more fun and rewarding.

You know you are in a healthy relationship when you look forward to seeing your partner. When they call you, they can hear you smiling on the other end of the phone. You get excited to go home to your partner. If this is not the case for you just ask yourself, what can I do to make things better? What is missing in the relationship? One way to find out is to ask your partner. Maybe talk to someone you trust who may be able to give some good advice.

The one thing you don’t want to happen is to take each other for granted. Don’t just go through the motions. Put the electronics down and engage each other. Step away from the TV. Go for a walk together. Ladies dust off the lingerie. Fellas put on some cologne. Romance each other. Don’t be lazy with the sex. Your partner is not going to dig into their bag of tricks when you are not putting in effort.

Keep the Spice Going

  • Think back to when you first met and plan something that you both liked to do in the early stages of the relationship.
  • Go on a date night, maybe where you had your first date. If not the first date, then someplace different from where you usually go.
  • Tell your partner you love them.
  • Surprise your partner with a “thinking of you” card and write something in it. Yes, I said a greeting card from the store. And, yes, write something nice in your own writing. Be genuine with your words. (Don’t send a text, I see you :-))
  • Do something nice for your partner. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. Give him/her a foot rub or body massage.
  • Cook a romantic meal complete with music, candles and lighting. You know what to do.
  • Just think back to what attracted you to your partner in the first place and go from there.
  • Surprise your partner with a gift, just because.

Take care of your relationship and it will take care of you.