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Self Awareness Topic

Just for Men: Check Yourself for Good Health

Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay

This is just for men; check yourself for good health. Let’s talk about it. This is for all the dads, uncles, nephews, brothers, sons and cousins. We all know that men pride themselves for being the protectors and providers of the family. You have to be strong. Yes, this is true to some degree. Because you are such an important part of the foundation of family, we need you to be around. We need you to be healthy, not just for family but for yourself. This is an appeal to you, to take care of your health before it is too late.

Put your testosterone aside. Leave the machismo at home for a minute. Drop the bravado. There are things that need to be checked for health reasons and longevity in life. Even if you do not have any symptoms and think that everything is fine; get a check up anyway. You may be thinking to yourself; I don’t need nobody poking at me, looking at things that ain’t none of their business. Please put that notion aside for a minute.

Ladies, please urge all the men in your life to get a check up.

Let’s look at some conditions that black men face.

Heart Disease and African Americans

African Americans are more prone to heart disease and are at higher risk for developing heart issues. 44% of African American men have some form of heart disease. Some other conditions that contribute to this are diabetes, hypertension, obesity and high cholesterol levels. Some ways to stay ahead of this is by getting regular check ups and knowing the specific health risks for you.

Check your blood pressure, blood glucose levels, and cholesterol. All of these things combined will give a better overall picture about your heart health.

Be pro-active and get more physical exercise, eat a healthier diet and drink more water.

Prostate Health and You

Please consider getting a prostate exam. Talk to your healthcare provider about your risks for prostate cancer. The earlier this condition is found the better the chances are for treatment. Prostate cancer is one of the most common forms of cancer among men. Also, it is one of the leading causes of cancer death in men. Especially, men of a certain age should consider talking to their doctor about this. Just because all of your parts are working does not mean everything is everything. Some types of prostate cancer have no symptoms at all. Compared to white men, the number of new prostate cancer cases in Black men is 60% higher.

Prostate Cancer: Statistics | Cancer.Net

Mental Health Awareness

Many black men face mental health disorders. Anxiety disorders, depression, mood disorders and PTSD; just to name a few. Some men were not taught how to process and express their emotional feelings. As a result, many start to feel angry, resentful and isolated. It may have something to do with holding things in and not wanting to be vulnerable. Also, within the black community there is distrust with medical professionals. This adds to the barriers of seeking professional help when needed. If you are a man who does not trust medical professionals, talk to someone you know and trust.

A lot of men feel the financial pressures of providing for their families. So, when money problems occur, they are hesitant to speak on this. Some are afraid that they may be perceived as being weak. It takes strength in order to want to get help and tackle the situation, rather than let it linger on and on. It helps to get it out. Talking about issues that you are facing can reduce anxiety and stress. It is okay to talk about these things without the stigma that exists within the black community. Therapy or counseling is a taboo subject in the black community. It is not something that is openly discussed and rarely brought up at all.

Diabetes and What to Know

Type 2 diabetes is more common in men compared to women. 90-95% of people with diabetes has type 2. Diabetes can lead to other problems with vision, kidney disease and heart disease. Type 2 diabetes is preventable and if you already have it, it can be managed with lifestyle changes, diet and/or medication. Poorly controlled diabetes increases blood sugar levels in the bloodstream.

Some ways to prevent diabetes

  • Drink plenty of water. The more water you drink helps to avoid intake of extra sugar from other drinks.
  • Get regular exercise. More physical activity helps to keep blood sugar levels under control. Choose activity that you like to do and something that you will stick with for the long haul.
  • Watch portion sizes and try to eat a low-carb diet. By lessening your carb intake your body will require less insulin to maintain your blood sugar level.

Some ways to manage diabetes

  • Monitor blood pressure- try to maintain a reading of 130/80 or below.
  • Check cholesterol levels-try to keep the LDL (bad level) less than 100 mg/dl.
  • Check hemoglobin A1C- this reading shows how well blood sugar is being managed in the body. A level of less than 7 reduces the risk of damage to eyes and kidneys.

As you can see, heart disease, prostate health, mental health and diabetes are very important things to monitor. These are real things that happen to real people. The sooner you keep tabs on your health, the better your chances are of improving your health. Remember, we need you to be around. To be here and healthy!

Categories
Diversity Topic

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was born on January 15, 1929. He was a very influential Black, civil rights activist. and minister. One of the things he was known for is the, I Have a Dream speech which he recited on August 28, 1963. He gave this speech at the March on Washington in D.C. This speech was a call to end racism and for civil and economic rights. His non-violent approach is something he was also known for, which was due to his Christian beliefs.

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

The Montgomery Bus Boycott was to his credit also. This boycott lasted for a little over a year and started in 1955. Rosa Parks was arrested during the boycott for not giving up her seat to a white person. This boycott came about in Montgomery, Alabama because of racial segregation on the public transit system. Black people had to sit in the back of the bus.

  • In October 1964, he won the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the youngest person to receive this honor.
  • On April 4, 1968 he was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee. Riots ensued after he was killed in cities all around the United States.
  • Martin Luther King, Jr. is the only non-president to have a national holiday.
  • In 1986 his birthday was observed in the United States as a federal holiday. Even though various states established his holiday as early as the year 1971.

Martin Luther King, Jr. positively changed the lives of African Americans, not only in his time but in many years after his death. People no longer have to sit in separate sections on the bus or drink from separate water fountains. He had a talent for bringing people together for a common goal. He was responsible for the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act, just to name a few.

King has afforded, not only African Americans, but also the world as a whole with a lot of advantages that we might not have otherwise known today. His tireless efforts to protest and fight for equality and rights has truly paid off. We still have a long way to go in society but some progress has been made.

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Words of Wisdom

Quote

Encouragement

What words of encouragement do you have today?

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Topic

To relax or not to relax? That is the question

Photo by Shari Sirotnak on Unsplash

Natural or Relaxed Hair

Ok, ladies let’s talk about hair! If you have ethnic hair you will be able to relate. Some of us have been called nappy, some of us call our hair “bad hair”, some say you have thick hair, etc. Let us just embrace what we have. If you have ever asked yourself whether you should relax your hair or go natural, this might shed some light. Tackling the simple task of washing hair can be very time consuming without a relaxer. Detangling is a task in itself once it gets wet. Both relaxed and natural hair have advantages and disadvantages.

Having ethnic hair allows us to be versatile with the type of hair styles we create. Even though we can do a lot with this hair texture, the maintenance of it all is a challenge. Relaxed hair is easier to maintain and style but it can be flat and/or dry. I have had relaxed hair for as long as I can remember. I enjoyed being able to go out and not worry about the weather and if my hair got wet. It was also so simple and quick to wash and style my hair at home. Then I started to think about the harmful chemicals in relaxers. I started to wonder what it was doing to my body.

Relaxers can cause chemical burns to the scalp and/or skin, if not applied correctly. It can also do damage if left in for too long. You can also lose some hair as a result of improper application. Some of these products contain formaldehyde. If you have ever heard of formaldehyde, you know that this is probably not something you want in your hair. I’m surprised I still have hair left with the many years I have used relaxers.

On the other hand, wearing natural hair is no picnic either. It kinks up at the slightest amount of moisture in the air. You know that thing called HUMIDITY! Such an ugly word. 🙂 Depending on where you live in the country humidity can be a year-round thing. I would see some women leaving their scarf on to walk into work and then combing out their hair once inside. It takes a lot to keep natural hair intact.

Don’t get me wrong, there are harmful chemicals in other hair products that we use on a daily basis. Aerosol sprays contain harmful chemicals and other products can cause breakage on the hair. Some shampoo’s have harmful chemicals too.

We do have other options for our hair other than relaxing. Please don’t curse me out if you have a relaxer, I am not picking on anyone. We all have our reasons and we do what is best for our budget and our time schedule. It is a choice.

Let’s explore some other options and see which one fits you. As for me, I have stopped relaxing my hair for about 2 1/2 years and I am still getting used to how long it takes to get it to look halfway decent. I almost went back to relaxing. I am glad I changed my mind, even though it takes me longer to wash, condition and blow dry or wet set my hair. Right now, it is the best option for me.

Natural Hair

Natural hair is just that, no messy jheri curl juice (like back in the 80s), no caustic chemical relaxer, just what grows naturally from your scalp. The good thing is that there are different ways to wear natural hair. You can cut it low, twist it, braid it, wear it in an afro, wear it in the natural curly pattern or flat iron it for a straight look. If you want to have big hair, a fro is always a good choice. It gives lots of volume to hair. It also gives the woman who wears it some attitude!!

Wearing natural hair requires some extra time and patience. Of course, we must remember to moisturize and condition our hair. Very important step is to moisturize, moisturize and what… MOISTURIZE. Yes, that’s right! If we let our hair get too dry, it will cause breakage and look dull. Another tip to prevent breakage is to keep the ends trimmed. Trimming the ends keeps the hair from getting tangled and coming out with regular brushing and/or combing.

The bad part about wearing natural hair is that it is time consuming. Just to wash natural hair takes twice as long as it would if it were relaxed. Also, with natural hair you have to be careful not to get it wet. If it is raining outside we must have an umbrella or hood to cover our hair. Also, we have to be careful not to get it wet in the shower. Natural hair is a nightmare if your scalp sweats a lot too. It makes the roots and edges start to curl up and look nappy. You know the thing called, snap back! Who wants that?! Edge control gel is your friend!! Natural hair is not for those who do not have time or patience. It requires more trips to the salon, just to keep it looking fresh.

Let’s look at other things we can do with our hair instead of relaxing

  • Wigs

Wigs have come a long way. You can purchase virtually any style you want. The options are endless. Some wigs can be pricey, depending on the type of hair you buy but there are affordable choices. Wigs are also an option for women who may be affected by alopecia or a similar problem with hair loss. Believe it or not, women are affected by hair loss too. It is not just a man’s problem. Hair loss can either be hereditary or can be the result of how we manage our hair. Wigs are fun if you like to change your look often. You can find wigs in different lengths, colors and styles. Wigs are also a quick option when you don’t have a lot of time to spend on getting your hair ready. Wearing wigs also gives you a chance to try out a new hairstyle, before actually getting it cut.

Just a side note to treat your wig right. When you take it off don’t just throw it on the dresser or in the closet. Talk to it and give it a name. Once we name something, it becomes more personal. Be sure to detangle it with fingers and smooth it out before putting it to bed.

  • Weaves

Weaves can protect the hair, it’s what is referred to as one form of protective styling. These styles may take about 1 1/2 hours to install but is worth the time. If you get a basic sew in, your hair is braided down and then the extra hair sewn in. The time a weave will last depends greatly on how it is maintained, and the type of hair used. A touch up may also be needed at the salon. Try to keep it from getting wet, unless washing. Also, keep the tangles out. Weaves are also available in straight styles, wavy, curly, etc.

  • Extensions/Braids

Adding hair for braided styles is another option. You can pick the color you want, and you can pick how long or short you want the style to be. You can also style the braids in cornrows, twists, box braids, goddess braids, etc. Depending on how intricate the style is, it may take about 3-5 hours to install. If you get microbraids, plan for an additional 2-3 hours or longer. Putting braids in can last a minimum of 4-8 weeks. We have to remember to moisturize. It is important to remember that with braids, it affects our edges. The longer you keep the braids in and the more frequent you get hair braided will start to make the edges go away. It will affect your hairline, and not in a good way. It will start to recede. We must keep this in mind. There are so many cute styles and braids are so convenient, but the weight of the extensions and the tightness is what can cause problems in this area.

  • Hair Straightening/Blowout

If you are more into straight styles try hair straightening with either a flat iron or get a blowout. Hair can be straightened by using a flat iron or any heat appliance. Be mindful to use a heat protectant with any heat styling. You can achieve the look of relaxed hair without using the chemicals. Getting a blowout requires a lot of heat to the hair. This kind of styling can damage hair over time. Even though a blowout makes the hair look so silky and makes it flow. it is best to limit blowouts to prevent heat damage. The result of getting hair blown out is beautiful but like most styles comes with the risk of damage.

Relaxed Hair

Relaxed hair requires applying chemicals to hair. You can purchase a kit from the beauty supply store to apply at home or you can go to the salon for a professional look. Relaxers come in lye and no-lye formulas. Some of these relaxers have formaldehyde. You know, the stuff that funeral homes use. Depending on your budget, applying a relaxer at home is the cheaper way to go. Please follow directions included in the box.

Relaxing hair only needs a touch up about every 6-8 weeks. Also, it is easy to wash, condition and moisturize. It does not require a lot of time just to keep it maintained. Relaxed hair is also very manageable. You don’t have the worries about humidity and/or rain when outdoors. It is less of a hassle. At night, it helps to wrap the hair and tie it down. Using a silk scarf is best because cotton will take the hair out.

Conclusion

If you have ever asked yourself if you should relax your hair or not, you have to decide what method works best for you. I hope I have shed some light and helped you get closer to making the decision. There is no right or wrong way to wear your hair. It is a personal choice. I am just bringing some awareness to the good and bad of using relaxers. Yes, we pay the price for beauty. So, no matter what you choose, you are beautiful!

Categories
Diversity Topic

Three Kings Day

Photo by Jonathan Meyer on Unsplash

Today, January 6th is Three Kings Day! Today is also known as Epiphany or El Día de Reyes. I just want to take a minute to recognize today since I am Boricua too. Although, I am still learning about the traditions of this holiday. I have my Titi in Puerto Rico to thank for keeping me up to date with the culture. This day marks the end of the Christmas holiday celebrations. Three Kings Day is celebrated in Mexico, Spain, Puerto Rico, Argentina and Peru, just to name a few.

As you can imagine, the celebrations involve family. It also involves gifts for the children. During this holiday some traditional dishes are arroz con gandules, pasteles, and roasted pork. Add to that, Puerto Rican eggnog which is called Coquito (little coconut). Another tradition is caroling (parrandas) while singing aguinaldos or Christmas songs. Some musical instruments used during a parranda are maracas, guitar, cuatros and guiros. Wepa!

Photo by Luis Santiago on Unsplash
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Topic

Can You Answer This? Is forgiveness or justice more important?

Forgiveness
Photo by Melanie Stander on Unsplash

Welcome back to Can You Answer This? I will start this off by answering the question. Is forgiveness or justice more important? I would definitely say that it depends on the situation. If you are on the receiving end of a crime, justice may be the first and only thing that comes to mind. I say that because if someone has committed a crime against you, of course you want them to pay for what they did. It sets the tone for others to think twice before doing the same thing, when a person or person(s) are prosecuted for their misdeeds. Some people learn from this, but others don’t. This is not a perfect world so we cannot be surprised by what we see going on.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

If the crime only involved material things and something was stolen, then forgiveness comes into play. Things can always be replaced. On the other hand, if the crime involved losing a loved one then justice needs to prevail. Sadly, a lot of these cases do not end in justice.

Forgiveness is not only for the person who committed the crime but also for the victim. If someone has hurt you in some way and you choose to forgive, it has an advantage to you too. That advantage is that it lifts some burden and stress from your life. When we forgive, it allows us to move on and not let it hold us back. I’m not saying that we forget what happened but it gives us some level of peace to be able to forgive. If we want others to forgive us for our mistakes, we must forgive too.

What do you think?

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Topic

Happy Holidays

Image by monicore from Pixabay

Happy Holidays

Just a quick note to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!  The year 2021 is coming to an end and it went by so fast! This time of year brings some nostalgia with all the shopping, gifts, get-togethers and festive events.  Let’s not forget the good food.

Things have been a little different with Covid-19 and it has put some of those get-togethers and events on hold.  Even still, being with loved ones; family, significant others, and friends is still very important.  Let us not forget our fur babies too.

If you have not spoken to someone for a long time, reach out.  Call, text, email.  We never know how long we will be here on earth.  If someone has been on your mind a lot lately but you are afraid to call or see them, just do it. It might change your life in a good way.  Even if it doesn’t at least you will not go on wondering; what if.  At least you tried.

The year 2022 will bring new adventures and some challenges.  We will embrace and welcome the adventures. We can face those challenges head on with a smile and confidence.

Whatever your holiday traditions are I wish everyone the best. Have a good time and enjoy friends, family and good food.  Be safe and I wish everyone a prosperous and healthy new year.

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Words of Wisdom

Quotes

Dropping Off Some Love

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Topic

Teaching Children the Value of Money

Image by 3D Animation Production Company from Pixabay

Teaching our children the value of money is about providing the tools they will need as they grow up. One of the basic things we know about money is that it does not grow on trees. Kids don’t think about that when they want something. All they know is gimme, gimme, gimme while they have their hand out. As parents, we have seen this all too many times. It is up to us as parents to educate our children about the value of money.

A conversation needs to happen with our children so they know and learn about financial responsibility. I don’t mean we need to sit down and go over the bank ledger or spreadsheet of all the household monthly bills. After all, they are kids, they are not interested in this. But, they do need to know the basics. I must confess that I did not do this with my child. Looking back, I wish I had. That doesn’t mean it is too late for some of you.

A simple way to do this is when we are shopping at the grocery or department store. If they see something that is not in the budget or on the list, they want it right? Well, that is when we have to first, learn to say no. We have to let them know that everything on the shelf is not for the taking. Maybe today they cannot have that shirt or snack but the next time; maybe.

Secondly, we must also let them know not to spend everything they have, just because they have it. Save some money for a rainy day. Just because you have $150 does not mean that you should spend it all. Save a portion of this so that you will always have something in your pocket.

Ways to teach children about money

GET A PIGGY BANK

A piggy bank is a good start depending on the age of the child. But, for an older child they may want to use something else. A shoe box, canister, or an envelope. Anything they feel comfortable stashing their money in, let them choose. Encourage them to count their money at least once a week. This will build excitement and they can see how much their money is growing. Let them know also, that not everyone needs to know where their money is or how much they have.

GIVE AN ALLOWANCE

An allowance does 2 things. The first thing is that it teaches the child responsibility. They know in order to get their allowance they have to do something, like chores around the house. They are not just being given money. Secondly, it gives them a sense a pride to know that the money they are getting is because they worked for it. Anything they use the money for will be more meaningful to them.

TAKE YOUR CHILD TO THE BANK

Going to the bank lets them see how bank transactions work. This way they will know how to make a deposit and/or withdrawal. I know this sounds simple but there are some out there who do not know how to complete a bank transaction. Alternatively, you can open a bank account in your child’s name and show them how to balance their account.

LET THEM SHOP WITH THEIR MONEY

When making a purchase, let them use the money that they have saved. When they realize that they are using the money they earned, they might be a little more selective about how much they spend and on what they spend their money. It may give them a healthier overall attitude about spending. When they learn that Mom and Dad are not just going to buy something for them, they will cherish the item more and be smarter about what they buy.

EMPHASIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF PAYING WITH CASH

Instead of credit cards pay in cash. I know you are thinking, kids don’t have credit cards. Well…some do but that is for another discussion. This is just something to mention to them in their early life, to prepare them for later. Hopefully, they will remember this lesson. When paying with cash you can only spend up to the amount that you have on hand. You cannot overspend for something that you know may be overpriced. Also teach them to comparison shop. At the grocery store have them compare the same or similar products and not just grab the first one they see. Most times, the more expensive products will be at eye level and the easiest to find. This is what the retail giants want us to do as consumers.

Do’s

  • Do encourage paying with cash- this helps to prevent overspending
  • Do take care of personal belongings- taking special care and pride will make things last longer and keep them looking newer longer. You never know when/if you will get another
  • Do shop around for the best price- always check other options available for the item you are looking for
  • Do stress the importance of counting change after each transaction before leaving the counter

Image by janjf93 from Pixabay/text by O’Nika McGill

Don’ts

  • Don’t just buy the first item you see on the shelf-Compare prices or look for sale items
  • Don’t spend all the money you have- Save a portion and spend wisely
  • Don’t be careless with your things. Put things away in their proper place so that it does not get damaged
  • Don’t loan an amount of money that you cannot afford to give away- We don’t always get paid back the money we lend; so be sure what you lend you can afford and not be adversely affected if you don’t get the money back

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay/text by O’Nika McGill

Recap

So, what do we know? We know that money does not grow on trees, someone has to work to bring that money into the home. Children need to learn this. I’m not saying to never, ever again buy anything for them. All I am saying is to help them understand the value in what they receive.

Kids also need to know that when they are being given something, to take care of it. Don’t treat it like tomorrow they can just get another one. When we see them taking pride in receiving then we are more inclined to give a little more. If a child demonstrates that they appreciate what they have by being responsible with it and taking care of it, this is always a good thing.

Another thing they should be taught is that money is not always about spending. Keep some in your pocket. We are not trying to keep up with the Joneses. Just because your friend down the street bought something new, so what!! You mind your own pocket. That new pair of shoes or new video game will be out of style soon. Keep your pocket full. Keep your pocket full.

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Topic

Can You Answer This?

Image by Prawny from Pixabay

What is something that you were once afraid of but are not scared of now?

This can be a fear of spiders or a fear of flying, or maybe you are afraid of heights. Some people are afraid of clowns. Anything that comes to mind that you have overcome. It can be something funny or something serious. Anything you would like to share. Please tell us how you overcame this fear. It might help someone else out there who is experiencing the same thing.

I will start off with… (but don’t laugh)

Michael Myers from Halloween. I was traumatized as a child! You hear me; TRAUMATIZED by Michael Myers when this movie first came out. (I see you laughing).

It took me years, but I realized that this is a fictional character. He is not hiding in my closet or standing behind the curtain. I forced myself to watch him in the Halloween movies, even though I was terrified! The scariest thing about him was the mask and the music from the movie.

Now, I love Michael Myers. He is my favorite scary movie character 😉

Have fun with it. Can you answer this?

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Words of Wisdom

Quotes

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You’re capable of amazing things.

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Self Awareness Topic

Self-esteem and Why It’s Important

So, let’s talk about self-esteem and why it’s important. Self-esteem is how you see yourself. You are worthy and you know how to put a value on the person that you are. Self-esteem is very important because it is going to guide you in life, it drives your decisions. It is very important because with it, no one can try to make you feel small; well, they can try. Ultimately, you know that you are worthy and that is enough. Without it, you might think it is ok for someone to treat you badly.

I don’t want anyone to lose sight of their self-worth because that is something that no one can give you. It is something that you have to search within yourself to bring out. Realize your potential because without self-esteem things can go in a totally opposite direction and we don’t want that! We want to keep it positive! We want to keep ourselves uplifted! Unfortunately, even when you are minding your own business, at some point trouble will find you.  So, it’s best to power up your self-esteem, I’m talking about positive self-esteem.  Once you fully believe it you tell yourself; yes, I’m worthy of respect, love, and I deserve to be treated well. Once you tell yourself these things you will have a brighter outlook and the confidence to move ahead.

It is not enough to just think these things you need to speak it out loud. I mean to affirm these things when you’re alone or in trusted company. First, you have to think it, believe it and know it. Secondly, say it out loud. Vocalizing it gives you power. Lifting yourself up and speaking positive things about yourself is very helpful. Highlight some physical attributes. Say, I’m beautiful, I have a beautiful smile, I have beautiful eyes, I have nice legs, I have a beautiful personality or I’m a good friend. Affirm the things that you know you possess, whether it is a characteristic or something physical.

Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

Reasons Why Self-esteem Is Important

Self-esteem gives you empowerment. It gives you confidence. You will be invincible in the way that if someone makes a certain comment about you, it’s not going to ruin your day. Certain comments are not going to bring you down and turn your bright outlook into something negative There are people who will try to insult others, just so that they can feel better about themselves.

Remember that someone else’s opinion of you doesn’t validate who you are.  Everyone has their own opinion and that’s OK. We are not going to be liked by everyone we encounter, it’s perfectly fine. The reason it is fine is because the people who belong in our lives are the ones who will stick around. They are going to be in our lives for more than a season.

Scenarios

  • If someone approaches you with an off the wall comment. It’s best to walk away or just kill them with kindness. Kill them with kindness. Even though your first instinct may be to punch them in the face. Come back with something nice about them. That’s all you have to do. Because they are not going to expect that. They will not know how to react. This will throw them off. You don’t even have to stick around to see their reaction just walk away. Another tactic is to ignore them, tune them out. OK, that is a skill that I have mastered myself.
  • There are bullies out there, both children and adults. The ones who never have a nice word to say about anyone. More times than not its because they feel inadequate about themselves. Don’t let them reign their negativity on you and ruin your day. Self-esteem prepares you and you exude confidence with your body language. Stand tall and hold your head up.
  • If you walk around with slumped posture and looking down, this is no good. People can pick up on that energy and then you become a target. You may be perceived as weak. Because you are showing that you are in a down mood people will prey on you. Even if you are in a down mood, do not let this show! It is especially necessary on these days that you may not feel so sure of yourself, that you show up and show out! Let the world know that you are ready and unstoppable. Walk with purpose!
  • With self-esteem you will not question when someone is nice to you. Everyone doesn’t have a hidden agenda. Everyone is not out to get you. Without self-esteem you question certain things. You think to yourself; why are they being nice to me? And I say, well, why not you? Of course, you deserve to be treated nicely, you deserve to receive love, you deserve respect. On the other hand, we have instincts or intuition so don’t let your guard down with everyone. We all know better than this. What I am saying is that when certain things happen to you that are good, embrace it, receive it. Don’t block your blessings!
  • The same exact thing can happen to me and my friend but it may take me two weeks to get out of it, it may take her three days. It’s different for everyone so we can’t measure our own healing or grieving process against others. What I’m saying is we have to move on, we have to get out of that at some point. We cannot stay in that state of feeling like we’re not deserving of certain things because it’s just simply not true.
  • Self-esteem helps us deal with people and/or relationships. You may have a toxic personality in your life and especially if it is someone who’s close to you, those may be the hardest ones to disengage from. Sometimes, you have to cut people off just to let them know that they are not going to speak to you any kind of way, they cannot treat you any kind of way. They may have been around for a while but you just have to do it. It is not going to be easy but it is necessary. If for nothing else, your own sanity, your own self-esteem and respect.

Walk In Your Power

Just know that self-esteem matters. Tell yourself that you are a good person, you deserve respect, you deserve kindness. If someone has drilled it in your head that you are anything less than magnificent, don’t believe it. Be brave enough to showcase that. It’s one thing if this starts in your childhood because when you are a child everything soaks in like a sponge. Children are impressionable. As you grow to be an adult you know the difference. The minute you assert yourself people will look at you like; who is this, is this really you, did you just say, that, did you just do that. It only takes one time to make a believer out of them. Don’t be afraid!  

The pandemic has changed our lives in so many ways. People are going through so much. Some people have lost their jobs, they are being displaced from their homes, schools are closed, etc. Therefore, parents can’t go back to work because they don’t have childcare. There is a lot of domestic violence happening as well because families are stuck together every day. with mounting pressures. Food is expensive, housing is expensive and it’s not the easiest time to navigate, it’s not as easy to bounce back right now. This is a time of low morale for some. It is important that we walk in our power. Go and be around a person or people who are always upbeat. They always have a kind word; call that person up, text that person. 

Lastly, please do not mistake self-esteem for arrogance, egotism and conceit. Having a high regard for yourself is not the same as having an inflated sense of self.

So, do you see why having self-esteem is important?

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Inner Peace

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Looking for inner peace?

You ask, “what is inner peace”?  It is your state of calm, your state of peace for yourself. Inner peace is like calm, serenity, tranquility, etc. It is something that is meant to be cherished and it is also different for everyone.  Think of it as your coat of armor or your shield. Once you find inner peace you are already prepared and equipped to deal with any negative and/or stressful situation that may arise.

With the holidays approaching and all the other life stressors finding that positive head space is important. This time of year for a lot of people is busy, busy, busy. Having a way to take a quick break when you feel overwhelmed is important.

How do you find your calm?

You may find inner peace by listening to music.  You might find it by doing Yoga.  Maybe you can find your inner artist and try sketching or drawing. Everyone has something or some way of finding their own inner peace, serenity or calm. It has to be something that is fun and brings a smile to your face.

No one can achieve this for you.  Looking within is the key to this. So, finding inner peace is something that must be deliberate.  Otherwise, we fall victim to other people’s drama. When we let people suck us in with negativity and drama, it can cause internal conflict.  It causes stress and this is no good for anyone. With stress comes other things down the road like diabetes, hypertension, etc., etc.

Achieving inner peace means to do whatever it is that brings you calm when you need it.  Remember, do not look to others for your state of serenity and calm.

For instance; if you are at work and you have a coworker(s) coming to your office and spreading gossip.  You know that gossip is nothing good and you don’t want to participate.  What do you do?  You can politely say something like; I am really busy and I need to finish my work now.  Walk away.  Go to that place in your mind that allows you to destress and dismiss the negativity going on around you.  If you need to just go somewhere and be alone. Do it!! It will be the best thing you can do for yourself. 

I achieve my inner peace by going for a walk when I feel stressed or if I feel negative emotions creeping in.  Additionally, I listen to music, with headphones on.  Using headphones makes the sound a lot more clear and prominent.  Sometimes, I picture a place that I have been to where I felt at peace.  These are just a few ways that I find my inner peace.

Suggestions to finding your tranquility

A few ideas to get you started are:

  • Watching your favorite movie/TV show- get in a good head space, watch something that makes you laugh or something that lifts your mood
  • Go for a drive- Get in your car and roll the windows down. Let the fresh air in and sing at the top of your lungs. Make sure to lock your car doors though. Be aware of your surroundings, very aware.
  • Having your favorite dessert- Ice cream, cake or your favorite fruit.  Anything that will cheer you up. Ok now… I don’t mean eat a whole family size bag of chips or the entire carton of ice cream.
  • Meditation- Saying a mantra or sitting with eyes closed in a quiet place. This can include deep breathing too.
  • Exercise- Get on the treadmill, elliptical or lift some weights.  Whatever will get the blood flowing and release those endorphins. Dancing is fun and is a great way to exercise.
  • Walking/jogging- If you are in good shape and are a jogger, go for it!  I don’t mean me in this case, lol. The fresh air and green grass does wonders for the senses.  If jogging is not your thing, walking is always great too.
  • Listening to music- play your favorite songs and sing out loud.  This is a great way to bring some peace of mind to certain situations. 

Looking for inner peace

In conclusion, finding your calm and inner peace is very important. With the things happening in the world today, we need this. Let me say again; we need this! I hope that I have helped you find ways to your peace and tranquility. I would love to hear from you to find out what method(s) work for you.  Feel free to comment by clicking the comment button at the top of the post.

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Diversity Topic

Diversity

Diversity means so many different things to different people. It could relate to gender, race, music, food, people or any number of things. When I think of diversity it brings to mind my childhood. I grew up in a very culturally diverse neighborhood. Living in close proximity, going to school and having friends of different cultures and races has afforded me a greater appreciation for people and life in general.

Imagine living in a place where there are people who are from Africa, Puerto Rico, Greece, Haiti, India, Poland, and a host of other places; you learn a lot. It taught me that even though someone is not the same as me, we can still be friends and live in the same neighborhood. Just because someone does not look like me, dress like me and they don’t have the same beliefs does not make them less than. Despite our cultural differences, we still have some things in common. If we just took the time to get to know people from other cultures we begin to see a lot of things that we may not have known.

We open many doors when we see things from another person’s point of view. Most of us can say that we are a product of our environment. We learn what we see and hear in our everyday surroundings. If you dare to go outside of that, people think that you have sold out and are not down.

In my opinion, diversity means acceptance and understanding. When we accept that everyone is different we have a better understanding of how the world works. Today I focused on diversity as it relates to people. I will explore other types of diversity in a later post. I challenge you to learn something new about a different ethnic group or person.

What does diversity mean to you?

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