Loving soul you were
Always lending a smile
If any drama was beginning to stir
Never wavering, but keeping your style
Kind and strong in your stance
Always quick and willing to give Friend or foe, no matter the circumstance
And with a whole heart, not divisive
Mother, sister, friend and confidant
Face beaming with an inner glow
Blessed I am to call you aunt
Knowing you are gone is a big blow
Blow to the hearts of all that loved you
Kind, strong, beautiful are just a few
Words to inspire a smile to all who knew
The wonderful qualities found in youRest in love and peace
January 10th is National Houseplant Appreciation Day. All of us do not have green thumbs but there are plants out there for everyone. Some plants require more attention than others. The basics are water and sunlight. Let’s look at the helpful benefits of plants.
Houseplant on bookshelf
Houseplants give us a sense of calm and they also produce oxygen. If you want to observe National Houseplant Appreciation Day on January 10th, start by buying a plant if you do not have any. For the plants you already have, make sure they have water and the right amount of sunlight.
You might want to spruce up the place with the purchase of an added plant for the house. Consider gifting a houseplant to someone. This also might be a good day to teach your children about growing houseplants. I will admit, I do not have a green thumb, but I take my time and go slowly with nurturing and taking care of my plants.
Health benefits include mood boosting, removing dust particles from a room, added moisture during those winter months, fragrant plants for relaxation and medicinal plants like Aloe. Also, some plants help to clean the air and make breathing easier. Simply put, adding some greenery to your space has many positive benefits.
Don’t forget to talk to your plants. You will feel better, and it will make you smile too. Plus, they look and smell nice too.
Houseplant
Try these varieties to get you started!
Money Trees-require less water and light
Snake Houseplant- air purifying plant
Aglaonema Plant-splash of color and low maintenance
ZZ Plant- keep this one in low light/shady areas
Dieffenbachia Plant- needs medium-bright light. Works well for humid areas like kitchen and/or bathroom
Spider Plant- easy to maintain
Add some greenery to your space at home and try your hand to find your favorite plant variety. They are great stress relievers as well. Can you see the helpful benefits of plants and all their uses?
A skill set is something that we each own. It is a part of what makes us who we are. No one is good at everything but there are some things that we excel at. So, the moral of the story is to rock your skill set.
The things that you are good at, use those things. You know how the saying goes, “use it or lose it”. The same applies here. We were gifted these gifts so that we can hone them and put them to use.
Public Speaking
Public speaking is a skill set. If you feel comfortable and, in your element, when speaking to a crowd/group, do more of that. If you get a feeling of satisfaction, knowing that you have helped someone with the message you are bringing, expound on that. Everyone cannot get up in front of a crowd to say one sentence. It is harder than you think. Do not discount this skill.
Oppurtunites for public speaking are available. Through volunteering, networking and business events, politics and education, these skills are very useful. Children can always benefit from hearing sage advice and soaking up useful information. Information that they can take with them and apply in today’s world. Information that will make them stop and think first about their actions and the consequences.
Listening Skills
Listening skills. Believe it or not it is difficult to be a good listener. Some of us are only interested in what we have to say and not what the other person is saying. It requires patience and constraint to not jump in while the other person is talking. You have to concentrate on what you are hearing and comprehend, understand and process before you iterate your next thought. Listen to understand and not just to hear.
Animal Lover
Love animals? If you love animals, a career at a veterinary clinic may be just for you. Maybe you want to be a pet sitter or dog walker. The animal shelters always have fur babies who need a good home. Consider adopting one of them.
Helping People
Helping people complete tasks is another area that you can explore. The elderly or others who are incapacitated may need help with everyday chores. You can explore a career in customer service or nursing. So many options exist for you to shine and do what you love.
It is a new year, and we can begin again. Do the things we haven’t done in a while. If you are short on time, consider volunteering for something that fits your schedule. No matter what your skill set is, you possess it for a reason. Use it.
What is a blog and a vlog? People use the two terms interchangeably. The most basic answer is that a blog is short for web log. It is a collection of writing on a website. Some blogs are specialized and have a theme. You will find blogs about travel, food, relationships, fashion, hobbies, etc. Other blogs have a variety of different topics.
A vlog is a collection of videos. Vlog stands for video log. Most content on vlogs are video shorts and can either be about one particular subject or a vast array of things, similar to blogs.
Now, there are some people who have both videos and writing on their sites. It is all a matter of personal preference. Some who are not comfortable being recorded or speaking on camera will opt for the blog. Also, the more apt and avid writers, usually go for blogging.
Individuals who are not camera shy will do more vlogging. They feel more comfortable and get their message across better to their audience, via videos. Attention spans have shortened these days, so people are more inclined to go for the shortened version of posts. Lately, it seems that some people do not want to read a long article post or watch a long video. Because of this, it is important to create informative, creative and interesting content to keep the reader/watcher engaged.
Things are so compact nowadays. An example of this is the newspaper. Newspaper: what is a newspaper?! Do they sell those anymore? Yes, they do. Just take a look at how thin a newspaper, magazine or circular are now. In the big scheme of things, it makes sense since a lot of information is digital.
How do you like to receive your information? Do you prefer to watch videos or read posts? There is no right or wrong answer, it is just a matter of preference.
What is a screw face? It is a very crafty tool when used correctly. The timing has to be right, and you have to know when to turn it off. Let me describe it first. It is when you tighten your face muscles and create a face that tells people to back off. It is a face that lets people know that you mean business and you are not playing games. Distortion of your face to look mean. Think Sticky Fingaz, Busta Rhymes, Ice Cube, Fredo Starr, etc…
A time to put on your mean/angry face is when you are out and about. Riding the subway or out walking on the street too. It lets people know not to try you, that you see them, and they better not approach you. Also, in your car put on your screw face. This way the “would be” carjackers will think very carefully before trying to take your whip.
Sometimes you can have on your screw face and not be aware of it. You are just so used to tightening your face it is second nature. Just say the phrase, “relax your face muscles”. You can also practice this in the mirror so that you can see the difference. We send messages without speaking a word and this includes our facial expression.
Useful times for a frown
Some people use a screw face to ward off other people at work. For example, if you never get a chance to do your work because people are always coming into your office with questions and/or requests. A screw face is useful at this time. Because; if people think that you are having a bad day or you are upset about something, a screw face buys you some uninterrupted time to complete your tasks. You will have less knocks on your office door.
If you are out alone and in unfamiliar surroundings, use your screw face. If you look mean and frown your face, it might help to prevent being robbed and/or assaulted. Screwing your face will definitely make someone think twice, especially when they have ill intentions.
Un-screw your face
When you feel like no one approaches you and you can’t figure out why. This is for the ladies; just keep this in mind. When you are out during a social event and men approach your friends but not you. If you have that face that is so uninviting, people are going to pass you by. You might say to yourself, “self, my outfit is nice, my shoes are matching, my hair is laid and my face is beat”. This is the moment to stop and tell yourself to fix your face. Just think, relax your face muscles.
This technique can be used throughout the day. In your car, at work, at home. When you feel like people are not receptive to your approach, it may be that you have a mean look on your face. Again, ladies if you want to interact with a man that you are interested in, fix your face. This is not the time to have on your screw face. You don’t want to be labeled as an angry woman with things on her mind or emotional baggage.
Summation
Whether or not you use a screw face, just know that it comes with benefits. You might wonder why anyone would want to frown or distort their face. If you have ever lived in the inner city or rough parts of town, then you can relate to this, and you will fully understand the necessity of it.
Remember to be aware of whether or not you have a screw face on in social situations. It can make or break your experience. I hope you got a laugh or smile while reading about a screw face. It has some humor in it but is also true. If you have ever had a screw face, you get the meaning and you will learn how to use it.
Styles change so often. As quickly as a new fashion comes out a few months later it is obsolete. Who can keep up with all the new styles of clothing. We all like what we like and no matter if that specific style goes away, we will continue to love it and wear it
Some of us have a favorite pair of shoes. It may be the color of the shoe or the way they feel on your feet. Maybe it is a favorite coat. You know those warm bubble coats or leather jackets. A sweater that fits just right and the material is so soft. But it has that little hole under the arm that no one can see. That pair of jeans that give the right amount of lift, even if they are a little faded.
Even if it has a hole in it or is out of style; what is that one favorite thing you love to wear? Is it an old pair of slippers, jeans with holes (and I don’t mean the ones that are made that way), or an old denim jacket. It might be an old tie that has sentimental value. In the winter, that pair of long johns that have a bleach stain on them (Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about).
I will confess, for many years my favorite thing to wear was a fleece pullover. It was very comfortable and warm. I didn’t have to iron it either (this was a plus 😊). I wear it on occasion, but it is not my go-to anymore.
Can you answer this? What is your favorite article of clothing?
**1/7/24 post updated: The Hannukah celebration by the Jewish community is not widely celebrated due to security reasons. The current state of affairs of the war, in no way is meant to imply that the Jewish community is the cause. My sincerest apologies to every and anyone who may have been offended. **
The time of year is here. The season of celebration, thankfulness, giving, family and reflection. We have all heard of Thanksgiving, Christmas and Kwanzaa. Among those, people also celebrate Diwali and Three Kings Day. I know there are other celebrations being had across the world. Hannukah is a celebration by the Jewish community. Unfortunately, due to the current state of war these may not be celebrated as widely, because of security reasons.
The point I am getting to, is that no matter what part of the country you live, we all have something to celebrate and be thankful for. The world is not perfect but we can all find at least one thing that is worthy of celebration.
Family
Family is a reason to be thankful. We do not always see eye-to-eye and agree on things, but family is a good reason to be thankful. Maybe, this time of year family can bury the hatchet and squash old beefs in the name of renewal for the new year. Release the weight and be free from the hold. You will feel so much better and be glad that you did.
Health
Celebrate health. If you are ambulatory and have full use of your limbs, celebrate that. You might be thinking, so what that’s nothing to celebrate. Just think if you couldn’t walk on your own. Having to depend on others to do for you. You will appreciate the use of those legs to drive a car, go to work, play with your small children. Taking a walk or even exercising.
Love
Love is a reason to celebrate. If you are coupled up, whether you are married or have a boo. Celebrate that love. Whatever that thing is that brought you together, reflect on it and celebrate in your own way.
The Season for Celebration
Every culture has their holiday rituals and traditions. If you are not in a celebratory mood, try to get out of that funk. It won’t be easy but find a reason to smile. If you haven’t been practicing your religion, go back to that. If you haven’t talked to your friends/family in a while, do that. The things that bring a smile to your face and make you feel good inside, revisit that.
Giving
Let me not forget the season for giving. It is not always about money. Give someone a smile or a compliment. If someone asks for your advice, give them true and sound advice. Hug yourself and say something nice. If you do participate in giving for the holiday season, give with a whole heart and not expect anything in return.
Getting an education is something that most people strive for. It helps us in life to advance our learning and get a degree in a specialized area of interest. Both short and long term programs are available. You can taylor it to fit your lifestyle. Obtaining a degree will definitely boost your income, give you bragging rights and open up professional opportunities.
The question remains about how to pay for this education. No matter if you choose to attend a community college or Ivy League school, they all cost something. Sure, you can apply for grants and obtain loans to help with funding.
Some people invest 4 or more years in these institutes of higher learning and spend twice that time repaying those loans. To only discover, after completing their studies, they cannot find jobs in their area of study. Tuition is only increasing. Who stands to gain from this: the colleges.
Are these schools ripping people off? The short answer is, yes.
Don’t get me wrong, discouraging people from furthering their education is not what I am suggesting. I’m just saying that some of these schools charge astronomical amounts of money and students end up paying off loans for years after their schooling is finished. What kind of reward is that.
What do you say to someone who wants to pursue a degree program or a trade? Do you encourage them to go for their dreams or do you caution them to pursue other avenues?
Career opportunities may be limited without a degree. On the other hand, there are people who do very well financially, and they have not gone to college. Are institutes of higher learning a racket? It is possible to be successful without attending college and make a good living.
Let’s go find someone to play Duck, duck goose or jump rope. Teddy, we are almost there. Just down the road we should be able to find someone to play Hide and Seek with. I guess we can’t play Hopscotch or Double Dutch, I don’t see any concrete. Oh, I know, let’s play Mother May I? Teddy, where is everyone? I guess they are all indoors sitting in front of their video games and on their cell phones. Who do we have to play with now? Oh well, I guess it’s just you and me Teddy.
November, or the eleventh month is upon us. We only have one more month before the year 2024. Where does the time go? Speaking of time, we are gaining an extra hour this month for most of the states. The time is nearing to cast your votes for election day. Later this month people will celebrate Thanksgiving. Also, discover a new hip hop artist this month in honor of National Hip Hop month. International Men’s Day is this month too, so celebrate the men in your life. Black Marketers Day is also happening this month.
Nov 5
Daylight Savings Time Ends
It is time to gain an extra hour of sleep. That also means we have to say, goodbye to all the sunlight. Set your clock back an hour. If by chance you forget, you won’t have to worry about being late.
Nov 7-Election Day Cast your vote on election day. Check out what’s on the ballot in your state and local area.
Nov 16- National Black Marketers Day The focus of November 16 is to bring the Black community for marketing together. Networking and forming positive relationships around marketing industries occurs during this time. If you are interested in supporting the cause, check out events in your local area.
Nov 19-International Men’s Day Celebrate the positive men around the world. Even though men need to be celebrated every day, today is set aside especially for this important purpose. Oftentimes, the father’s, brothers, sons and nephews do not get the recognition they deserve. Being such important parts of life and the community, take the time to do something special to recognize the men in your life.
—–Theme for 2023-International Men’s Day
The theme for 2023 is Zero Male Suicide. A higher incidence of suicide by men compared to women is a reality. Partly because men are less likely to seek help for mental health concerns. If you see a man is struggling with depression, let him know where to get support. Let him know that you are there for him.
Nov 23-Thanksgiving What are you thankful for? Thanksgiving is when most people get together with family and have a big feast. Spending the day watching sports, playing cards and/or family games. Listening to music and whatever your family traditions are. Enjoy the day and count your blessings. Volunteering your time at a local shelter or food pantry is also a way to show your appreciation and gratitude for the blessings in life.
Public Enemy & LL Cool J vinyl records
National Hip Hop History Month– In November we celebrate Hip Hop. This genre of music has deep and rooted history and has been around for years. Clothing, culture and art have all been influenced by Hip Hop. For those of us who have grown up listening to it, we have a deeper appreciation and fondness for it. Who is your favorite Hip Hop artist?
Dos de Noviembre or should I say, November 2. It is a significant and personal date that holds a special meaning to me. November 2nd is the date that Inspire By O’Nika was born. ¡Feliz aniversario! The inception of a blog that I never thought about doing before. It was a day that has a special meaning because I was moved to share inspiration with the world.
Since I started the blog I have learned a lot, met some new people in the world of blogosphere. With all the things going on around the world, I wanted to bring a smile to people. Even when you felt like you didn’t have it in you. I wanted to give people inspiration and let them know that you can do what you set your mind to.
Motivating people who may need to hear a certain word of encouragement. Thank you to all who have stopped by to read my blogs, listen to my radio interview and watched my videos. It is you who give me the motivation to keep going. I truly thank you all.
Strength of a Black Woman. The Curse and the Gift.
At a very young age Black girls are taught to be strong. They are also surrounded by examples of this strength. Growing up and watching your sisters, aunties, mother, cousins, etc. holding it down, you get a sense of what it means to be strong. The strength of a Black woman is both a curse and a gift.
At times, this can be crippling when you are struggling with something and need to lean on someone for help. In those moments when we are vulnerable, we were taught not to show it. Just do what you have to do and not let anyone on the outside see that vulnerability.
I want to be clear that when I am talking about the strength of a Black woman it is not to exclude anyone. Simply, that I am speaking from my point of view and experience. I stand in solidarity with all women. My point of view is being told with the utmost respect. However, I cannot speak to the challenges and/or triumphs that other women face. Women of all races experience struggle and face discrimination for different reasons. I am speaking from my reality.
Strength of a Black Woman. The Gift
Whether or not you witness strong Black women, life makes you strong. The circumstances in life force you to get it together. No time for crying, no time for thinking about it. Just time to do it! The gift of being a strong Black woman comes at a price though. The gift of strength is what makes you smile when you have conquered those hard knock life moments.
Being blessed enough to be able to bear children is a gift. One that some women take for granted. The birth of a child requires bodily strength. Of course, there are amazing drugs to take off the edge. Also, it requires a certain mental strength. Now you are responsible for another human. You have to nurture and care for the individual that you have carried for all these months. Breastfeeding, waking up at night, school activities, monetary responsibilities, keeping the child safe.
The strength takes over when you only had 2 hours of sleep and its now time to get up for work. Feeding times when your nipple is sore from feeding. Getting up to warm a bottle of formula and preparing, just when your head hit the pillow. Consoling your child when they had a bad day at school. Providing groceries and wondering how to stretch the dollar when rent is due. Strength is also that thing we have on our side when the father of your child is absent, for whatever reason. In those instances, we are the sole provider and have to hold things together. Single motherhood is a thing and that’s when strength plays a big part.
Inner strength is what gets you out of the bed in the morning. Strength makes you power through when you are not feeling well. It is what makes you show up to a minimum wage job. Inner strength keeps you going when you feel like giving up. Being strong is what allows you to deal with less-than-ideal situations. It is what lets you tackle life head on, with no hesitation. Strength is what makes you say, “no” to things that do not serve you.
Strength of a Black Woman. The Curse
Being strong is good but at times, it can be bad. It is the same strength that tricks your mind into thinking that you have to do it alone. You are not allowed to seek assistance. When you show up as a strong woman, sometimes people think you can do it all. They judge you and do not think that you need help.
Health concerns get ignored, even when they are legitimate concerns. Healthcare has not been kind to Black women. We know our bodies and know when something is wrong. At times when we take those concerns to a professional, we are made to feel like the problem is non-existent or is not a concern at all. The “brush-off” is what I call it.
In situations where we do reach out for assistance, we hesitate for fear of being judged. Other times, people see that strength and use it to their advantage. Meaning, they figure we can deal with or handle a situation, therefore do not step in to help when it is warranted. There is this unspoken expectation for us to do certain things, no matter what.
What does it all mean?
Photo by Kindel Media on Pexels
Use the gift of strength in a way that inspires people, and they see themselves when they see you.
Being strong means its ok to show your feminine, softer side. Without apologies.
Strength allows us to love others and show compassion.
Strength does not mean to behave like a man or speak like one.
Strength is what you have inside that no one can see or touch. It just shines through you.
Strong Black women need love, support, protection and understanding too.
Strength is not a show of arrogance but one of conviction.
Know that you do not have to show your feminine physical parts to be noticed or seen.
A strong Black woman knows that it is ok to be vulnerable without feelings of shame/abashment.
So, you see, the strength of a Black woman is a gift and a curse. It comes with a lot of responsibility. Also, it comes with boundless rewards. Cultivate that strength and power and it will be more of a gift than a curse.
Can You Answer This? Name something about yourself that you are proud of.
We all have wonderful gifts and personality traits that are unique. Can you name something about yourself that you are proud of? Did you graduate at the top of your class? Maybe you won a medal in gymnastics. You are always the person people confide in because you are a good listener. Generosity may be your thing and you have a big heart.
Name the thing that you are most proud of and feel good about. Don’t be shy. It is healthy to toot your own horn and big yourself up; every so often. Give yourself some flowers because if you don’t, who will? Right?
Celebrate you, feel good about yourself.
We have different aspirations in life so no matter if you think it is a small thing, pat yourself on the back, hug yourself. You deserve it and do not diminish your accomplishments in life. If you purchased your first home; big yourself up. If you started your own business, kudos! The new book you published; well done!! Celebrate yourself. If not today, when?
Should professional athletes be on the hook for answering pre and post -game questions by the media? Should they be obligated to constant scrutiny by the public? Yes, is the answer if they are fulfilling a contractual agreement. After all, it’s what they signed up for. Even with that, does the public expect them to conduct speaking engagements, etc.
Do athletes have a safety medium to keep their mental health intact? It seems like they have cameras and mics in their faces, no matter where they go. They can’t even use the facilities without a camera in their mug. I know it sounds funny, but I can’t imagine not having a single moment of peace.
Yes, fans love them and want to see them perform at sporting events. Does that mean the film crew and news outlets have to follow them to the bathroom too?? They go in and as soon as they come out; smile you’re on candid camera!! Wow!
So, the question is whether or not they should be allowed any protection of their mental health and live their private lives or are they obligated to the constant performing, both on and off the court, field, ice, etc.? What do you say? Share your thoughts on the subject.
