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What Qualities Make up a Good Father?

Father’s Day Series, Part 1. What Qualities Make Up a Good Father?

Father’s Day this year, in 2024 is on June 16th. You still have time. Do not forget about this celebration. Fathers are very important and are a much-needed part of society and family. Sometimes, they do not get the recognition and are not celebrated like they should be. There is time to change that.

Also, the month of June is Men’s Health Awareness Month. Urge the men in your life to get a checkup. Even if they feel fine. Some medical conditions do not show up by symptoms and they may feel ok. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Part 1 of the Father’s Day Series is about what qualities make up a good father. A loving man who demonstrates the love of their child, a good listener, the man who shows interest in their child’s goals in life. Discipline and structure are also important.

Is it the one who is there emotionally and physically? The one who listens and talks to their children. The man that attends extracurricular activities. The one who actually spends time with their children.

Or is it the one who provides financially. He is the one who can buy clothes and food. Provide a home. But he is not around. He doesn’t invest time and/or effort. The father who writes the check but is absent otherwise.

What do you think is more important?

Of course, the child’s basic needs should be met. Is it too much to ask that the father provide and be there emotionally?

Fortunately, there are men out there that do just that. It doesn’t matter if the child lives in the same household or not. The man makes an effort to see his children and provides financially too.

June 16th let’s not forget Father’s Day. The day is coming up, there is still time. Show the dads out there that they matter and are loved and appreciated.

Categories
Self Awareness Topic

Mental Health and Well Being

By now, most of you know that the month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month.  It is the time of year when we check in on our wellbeing. This includes psychological, emotional and physical health.   

What exactly is Mental Health? It is how you feel on a daily basis.  Your overall state of mind.  Are you happy, sad, depressed, feeling anxiety, etc.  Our state of mind determines how well we can adapt and deal with challenges that come our way.

Please know that mental health are two words that are healthy and not dirty words. Some people shy away or feel like those are forbidden words. The more we embrace the concept the better we can understand it. It can lead us to learn more about ourselves and learn to open our minds and hearts.  

How about we assess how we are doing mentally?  I propose an assignment for the next few days.  Keep a journal of how you are feeling. You can use your cell phone or write it in a journal, whichever you choose.  Note any events that caused a change in mood.  An event that made you happy or something that was stressful.   

The purpose is to take note of your general state of mind so that any concerning areas can be addressed.  Depending on how far or deeply you want to go, you can pursue counseling, behavior modification and lifestyle changes.  Try exercising, a change in your eating habits.  Getting on a regular sleep schedule.  Engaging in things that make you most happy.  If that means more social outings, then just do it! Get out more, socialize with friends, family, colleagues.  Your happy place might look very different in comparison to others. You might be most happy at the gym, working out or joining a Yoga class.  Maybe you are a dancer and like to join a Salsa class. 

Mental Health Awareness

  • A-Ask yourself the question, “How am I really feeling?”
  • W- Wake up with a spirit of hope
  • A- Aim to find the positive things in your day
  • R- Relax and be kind to yourself
  • E- Exercise forgiveness of others and yourself
  • N- Negativity has no place in your life
  • E- Express gratitude, be thankful
  • S- Say no when your plate is too full, and you are overwhelmed
  • S- Start looking at the glass as half full and build on that

The month is almost over but that does not mean that we should stop caring about our mental health. We need to be aware of our overall well being all year long. Start today and see what a difference it makes.

Within you is the power to control your happiness.  

Categories
Topic Words of Wisdom

Luminous Ones

Luminous ones
Flying high above
Breath escaping lungs
Beautiful, beautiful belove

Spreading light into the dark
Shards of lightness lend a spark
To an otherwise blind sky
Your brightness leading the eye

Helping to make things clear
Letting the night lift the fear
Accompanying the moon, you are near
When the sun goes down, luminous ones appear

The night no longer scary
Look up and you discover
Concerns of danger are nary
No longer lurking, no room to hover

Luminous ones, luminous ones
So dear to me, flying so light and free
Teaching many to see the bright side
It’s always there, use your cre a ti vi ty

Luminous Ones is written in response to Sadje’s picture prompt.

Image credit: Leon Contreras on Unsplash

Categories
Topic

Cracking the Concrete Stone

Image Credit: Marianna Smiley on Unsplash
Concrete outer shell
So hard and cold
Full of cracks
From head to toe

Break through
Will quickly reveal
The hardness is hollow
Not as solid as it seems

Beneath the facade 
Softer inner core
Unveiled and vulnerable
Out there for all to see

Hardness uncloaked
Softness appeared
With eyes closed
It's difficult to see

Widened pupils recognize
Duality unfolds
Revealing what's underneath
The crackling concrete stone

This writing is in response to the picture prompt by Sadje.

Categories
Self Awareness Topic Words of Wisdom

10 Reasons to Say, Thank You

10 Reasons to Say, Thank You

The words thank you come with so much gratitude and humility. Two words that are often overlooked and underused. I have found 10 reasons to say thank you.

10 reasons to say, thank you are:

Opening your eyes in the morning- you are able to live and see a new day

When someone holds the door open for you- it shows that there are
still courteous people out there

Receiving a compliment- the kind words may have been
just what you needed that day

Reaching into the refrigerator and finding something for
nourishment- a simple pleasure of life often taken for granted

When you really need someone to talk to and they answer the phone- you can now discuss what is on your mind and gain some valuable insight

When you have a reason to smile- life is short, relish those
moments

Having a friendly person who is willing to lend a listening ear-you can now vent and get something off your chest instead of internalizing it

When you have someone to share your life with- companionship is
very valuable and should not be taken lightly

Finding comfort in those closest to you- it is nice to have someone who can comfort you just by simply being in their presence

When you can find laughter even during those difficult times-
these are the times when laughter is the best medicine

I don’t know about you, but I can keep going with the list. How many more reasons can you come up with? Personalize the list and add to it or take some things away. Use it on a daily basis. Choose the ones that are most important to you.

As always, thank you for reading.

Categories
Topic Words of Wisdom

Sisterhood in Mourning

Is Sisterhood a thing of the past? 
Judgements and criticism 
Are the reasons I ask 
Maybe it is due to stigmatism 

Why not encourage and support 
Things that can only uplift and empower 
Let's form a coalition and abort 
Foul behaviors of those who cower 

At the thought of us celebrating each other 
Knowing that love conquers all 
Lifting sister’s up one after another 
Silently they are hoping that we will brawl 

Congratulate your sister, do not frown 
Judge not your sister, hold your horses 
Let us not divide with in-fighting, settle down 
Already are we deemed unfit by outside sources 

Incapable of being amicable to our kin 
Women, sisters, confidant and friend 
I ask again, is sisterhood a thing of the past? 
Something so vital cannot come to an end

Categories
Self Awareness Topic

Risky Business of Complacency

One must not fall into complacency. It is the stuff that makes you stuck and stagnant. As humans, we are not meant to stay in the same place mentally or physically. Of course, our bodies and minds change over time with age. To be complacent means that you are self-satisfied and unaware of any deficiencies. Aloof, and smug also come to mind.

So, you can see that we must not fall into the trap. Being complacent puts us at risk. Again, risk of stagnation leaving no room for personal growth. This is not to say that once you set a goal and have obtained it that you have to continually keep setting more and more non-stop. No, just being aware that you have to work for your spot. You have to earn your position. Do not believe that your presence is all that is required.

COMPLACENT

Comfort, only, makes, people, lazy, and, creates, eternal, nonchalant, traits.

The world of today has a lot of entitlement. Some people feel that because they are popular and, on a sports team, for example, that they don’t have to do the work. Well, while they think their popularity will keep them on the team, there is someone else working up to taking their spot.

Another example is to feel that you can eat unhealthily for as long as you want because you have a thin stature. You have been lucky enough not to go into cardiac arrest due to clogged arteries. Take your health more seriously, and know that it is not a good idea to think it won’t happen to you.

Comfort is okay but only for so long. At some point, you have to intentionally do something uncomfortable. Something that you always felt that you could not do. Because if you stay in that comfort for too long, guess what comes with it? Complacency.

We are not meant to get to a certain place/time in our lives and just stop. If we happen to fall into this trap, we are missing out on many opportunities. It’s okay to pause and take breaks. Just being for the sake of being, yes.

Another analogy is when you successfully find the relationship you want. Then the things you did to attain the relationship stop once the relationship is going well. No, you must continue in order to sustain it.

How about that “diet” you started. Only to go back to those bad eating habits after you have made you weight goal. What do you think will happen next? Of course, that weight is coming back with a vengeance.

Things do not happen to or for us with little to no effort. We have to work for change and forward movement. It is only to our benefit. We cannot risk our health, hearts, body and minds to being complacent. If you feel yourself getting too comfortable, do something about it. Also remember to be kind to yourself in the process.

Categories
Topic

Overshadow

Overshadow


Optimistically
Viewing
Everyone
Rallying
Surely
Having
Absolute
Determination
Optimizing
Wisdom

Overshadow was written in response to Sadje’s prompt, what do you see?

Image credit: Tom Barrett on Unsplash

Categories
Topic

Waiting and How It Changes Us

Waiting! Who has time for that? In today’s world a lot of things are instantaneous. We are expecting everything to happen at the speed of light. Well, I hate to break it to you but, sometimes you have to wait.

Waiting teaches us valuable lessons in life.

  • Patience
  • Peace
  • Creativity
  • Relaxation

We may try to move things along by making phone calls or going to speak to someone in person. This approach does not always work. It’s during those times that we get to regroup and refresh our minds. I know we can become frustrated while waiting but that’s where we begin to have patience.

Patience because we have no choice in that moment. Waiting is a humbling experience too. We think we can control the what’s, when’s and how’s but not always. Some things we can do while waiting are straighten up your dresser or bookshelves. Finish that project you have put off for months.

Let peace enter your life. By doing this we can lessen stress by not having to check our busy schedules. While waiting, do the things you like and not the things you have to do. Just be. When was the last time you were in a state of just being… I’ll wait.

Think about it. While waiting you can learn more about who you are and what things bring you peace. Think about the things that bring a smile to your face. We all have ups and downs. While we are in between those two places, waiting is pivotal. We come to the realization that being normal for a day or two and not over-scheduled is wonderful. That is the peace I’m talking about.

When we lack something and are waiting, this is a time that waiting breeds creativity. A short example is if we do not have gas, we lack the ability to drive our car. We may be waiting for payday to fill up again. Take this time to enjoy yourself. No need to stress about driving across town to do an errand you didn’t want to do in the first place.

Waiting also teaches us that it is not always about us, what we want and when we want it. We lose the sense of entitlement, which is where the humble comes into play. We do not have to fill up every slot on our daily calendars. Our bodies and minds need that time of rest and relaxation.

Has waiting changed you in any way?

Categories
Self Awareness Topic Words of Wisdom

Do Not Let It In

Do Not Let It In

Do not let it in
When you hear something scurrying about 
It is so tempting to open the door to investigate 
Only to discover when you do 
It is none other but the horned figure 

The horned figure who is a chameleon 
Disguising itself as something other 
Other than the green-eyed bandit 
Just lying in wait ready to use their pointer 

The pointer to out everyone but themselves 
When eyes are turned their way 
They start to retreat and hide away in the shadow 
Voice drops from 3 octaves down to one 

One day they are dressed as a psychic 
The next as a black belt in karate 
Wonder what they will be the next time you see them 
Maybe that same horned figure in dirty crocodile shoes 

It can be tempting but don’t answer the door 
Once the door is open the urge is hard to resist slamming it shut 
Let the horned figure stay busy trying to get in 
For they have nothing else to do 

Do not let it in!

 

Image by David Senior from Pixabay

Categories
Topic Words of Wisdom

I’ll Be Happy When…

I’ll Be Happy When…

 When I lose 15 pounds... 

Enjoy the journey of transformation and relish in the fact that you have the courage to make a change for your health

 When I get that promotion... 

Enjoy being a part of something for a bigger purpose.  The right opportunity will present itself when you are not looking 

 When I retire... 

Enjoy being able to sustain yourself and all the wonderful people you meet along the way 

 When I get a bigger house... 

Enjoy the amenities you have and being able to come home and close your own door having a peaceful place to lay your head 

 When I get a new car... 

Enjoy the independence of being able to get around and not having to stress about how you can move about  

 When I get a husband/wife... 

Enjoy your life and the people in it who show you love.  That husband/wife may be in your life right now, but you can’t see them with only one eye open.   


Just think about the now and all the moments that you are living in NOW.  We may never get that promotion, or bigger house or newer car.  Enjoy what you have now, tomorrow is not promised.  Be happy today!

Image by Michaela on Pixabay

Categories
Self Awareness Topic Words of Wisdom

What it Really Means to Be a Boss

What it Really Means to Be a Boss

What does it mean to be a boss?  Excellent!  Outstanding! People have their own interpretation of the word.  Some people take it to the extreme.  Being a boss does not mean that you must be bossy. I know this is confusing. How can you be a boss and not be bossy?  

Easy.  Being a boss means that you have a level of control and stability.  You have control over your circumstances and things that you do in life.  You have stability in areas of your life that are important to you. What being a boss does not mean is bossing people around. Be the adjective of a boss and not the verb.  

I am speaking to women on this subject.  I think the colloquial term of being a boss, has gone too far.  People are taking this out of context, and it is starting to have adverse effects.  When you take your Boss self and start to do ugly things to people with your words and actions, do not be confused when people steer away from you.   

You do not have to be bossy to let people know that you are in control.  You do not have to be bossy to prove a point that you got this!  That you are your own person.  The boss in you will manifest itself. Others notice this and may or may not acknowledge it.

Green check mark sign png

What a boss does

  • Loves herself
  • Says no without guilt
  • Is financially stable
  • Calls the shots
  • Has courage to ask for help

What a boss is not and/or does not do

  • Judgmental
  • Treat others badly
  • Talk down to people
  • Arrogant
  • Boastful
hands holding a placard and a megaphone

You can still be a boss, while simultaneously being a mother, wife, and sister. Please remember that you can still be outstanding and excellent without the negative undertones. Do not forget that you can still show your feminine side and call the shots. Stand your ground and be classy about it.

However, it can get lonely when you become too ambitious. A few people may fall out of your life while you are busy being a boss. Check in on people that you might not have seen or spoken to in a while. Remember that everyone needs someone.

What do you say it really means to be a boss?

Can You Answer This? How Do You Measure Success?

Categories
Topic

Seeking Counsel

Seeking counsel, for the purpose of this post, means to ask for advice. Asking for advice can sometimes be a good idea. Gaining insight into a situation or question about something important helps in the decision-making process.

Keep in mind, that when you seek counsel, choose the person(s) wisely. Example, if you are interested in real estate. Ask someone who is already a realtor or someone who is aspiring to do the same thing. More likely than not, you will get more accurate information from someone who is already doing what you are thinking about getting into.

“The advice we receive can shape who we are – so choose your advisors wisely.”

Unknown

Valuable information to gain from someone who is already in your field of interest include the challenges they had to overcome to get to where they are. Also, the things that were easy. It helps to also ask more than one person in said field. Avoid asking Sally on the stroll, from the block. Even though you have known Sally for over 10 years, she is not about business. She has other interests in life.

Alternatively, avoid divulging your aspirations to everyone. Some people may come off as being happy for you and supportive. And, of course, we all have people in our lives who are just that. Remember, not everyone fits that mold. Be selective with whom you are seeking counsel from.

Categories
Topic

Don’t Take My Hairline Away

What age do you think is appropriate to have weave or hair extensions added? Little girls around the world are thinking; don’t take my hairline away.

The reason I am bringing this up is because I see young girls ages between five to 10-12 years of age with this added hair. My thought is that, by the time the girl is old enough to decide what to do with her own hair, it will be too late. Too late because she will no longer have a hairline and/or edges. Stop ruining your little girl’s hair by adding extension and/or weave so early in life.

Ever wonder why you see some women walking around with a hairline pushed back? And they are missing edges. Aside from a medical skin, scalp or hair condition, the missing edges and hairline are mostly self-imposed.

Adding hair by getting a weave or extensions causes stress to our scalp and hairline. The tightness alone sometimes can cause little bumps around the edges. This is not good. The longer we continue to stress our hair this way, it will only have negative consequences later on in life.

Let girls be girls! Save their hairline for them when they are an adult. Don’t take that choice away from them. In most cases, the styles are not age appropriate. Yes, a young girl should have her hair done, but not at the expense of their hairline as they grow into adulthood.

To relax or not to relax? That is the question

Categories
Self Awareness Topic Words of Wisdom

Did You Talk to Yourself Today?

Did you talk to yourself today as a reminder of how blessed you are? Tell yourself that no matter what happens you are still here. If you didn’t have the talk yet today, there is still time left.

Talk to yourself.