It’s Women’s History Month. Let’s talk about a female hip hop and funk group who was pivotal in these genres of the music.
What do you get when you add Angie B, Blondy and Cheryl the Pearl? Drumroll please… meet The Sequence. A trio of women from South Carolina who performed a fusion of hip hop and funk music. Angela Brown, Gwendolyn Chisolm and Cheryl Cook made up the first female group to release songs under Sugar Hill Records.
The most notable song by the group is “Funk You Up”, which came out in 1979. You may also remember the song, “Monster Jam with Spoonie Gee”. In the 90s Angela Brown aka Angie Stone later joined the music group Vertical Hold before going solo in 1999. She has also performed in theater, TV and movies.
Angie Stone-Mahogany Soul Album
Gwendolyn “Blondy” Chisolm and Cheryl “The Pearl” Cook released a single in 2011 titled, “On Our Way to the Movies”. The Pearl also wrote songs for the Sugar Hill Gang and scores of other artists. She went on to start her own company called Black Bottom Entertainment.
The Sequence is very important in the history of women, music and hip hop. Their first single topped the music charts for three weeks and went Gold. Other artists have sampled their music. Even though the hip hop genre is more prominent in NY, The Sequence held their own and made their mark being from the South. They have helped to lay the foundation for subsequent female hip hop groups and solo MCs, that we know and love.
The influence of The Sequence can still be felt and heard, even today. Give them their due for what they have laid down for women groups who came after them. For whatever reason, The Sequence has not been given the credit they deserve. When I think of The Sequence I think of a trio of inspiration and talent.
Can You Answer This? What Are the Benefits to Being Employed?
Being employed comes with many benefits. I know sometimes we complain about certain aspects of working, but it comes with its perks. Working affords us with options to support ourselves and our families. When we work, we have a sense of independence, achievement, responsibility and enjoyment. Being employed, whether self-employed or with a company is gratifying. Just think of what life would be without it. Of course, for the retired you have put in your years. It is now time for you to do with your life what you will and enjoy doing what your heart desires.
Experiencing people and interacting with others is a large part of being employed. We have some wonderful experiences and some less than nice ones. But either way we learn from all of them. We also get to save and/or invest money for later in life. Also, working helps us with medical expenses through healthcare plans provided by the company. Being employed gives us a sense of purpose in life too. We get up and feel like we are making a difference. While working, we can be creative, and this is great for mental and physical health.
Another plus is being able to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Going away for weekend trips and or vacations. Spoiling ourselves every so often. For some, it is just the sheer joy of keeping busy and doing something. It is important to try to strike a balance and not totally let work consume us. Enjoy life and have some fun too.
Can you answer this? What are the benefits to being employed? What do you say?
March is Women’s History Month. There are some wonderful women out there making a true statement. These women have contributed to Arts and Science, Math, Entertainment, Education and various other areas.
Women’s History Month starts on March 1 and lasts for the entire month. Another important date this month is March 8th, International Women’s Day. Take a moment to celebrate what this day means to you.
The theme for Women’s History Month in 2023 is ‘Celebrating Women Who Tell Our Stories’. Every year the theme changes. This month became officially known as Women’s History Month in 1987. Before then, it was only a week-long occasion.
Women’s History Month is for taking note of progress and struggles of women, spanning back for years and years. Women now have the right to vote, get an education, join the military, among other achievements. Women still face discrimination in the workplace when it comes to wages. You do not have to be a woman to advocate for equity and inclusion. Everyone can ban together for this important cause to reduce and/or eliminate discrimination in the workplace. This can only have a positive outcome for the world at large.
It is important that people know and understand that women do not always have it easy. People may think that we have no worries, or we do not need to assert or apply ourselves. Don’t let looks fool you into thinking that we have things handed to us. Women work hard and juggle a lot. Some of us are mothers too. It is a joy to wear the hat of being a parent. Unfortunately, some people view motherhood as a crutch and therefore do not give all mothers the same chance as the male gender.
How Can You Celebrate Women Who Tell Our Stories?
Read about the motivating and inspiring stories that women have told through their sheer actions.
If you know someone who may benefit from hearing your own story, consider sharing, you just might save a life and inspire someone else to tell their story in the future.
Pay it forward with your heroic life story, and what another woman thought was not possible, will see that it is. You are the living proof.
Educate yourself on the issues that women still face today. Think about what you can do to effect change.
Send a quick thank you note to a woman that you admire.
Pass on the word about Women’s History Month on your social media platforms to raise awareness.
Support women-owned businesses.
Mentor girls and young women. Empower them with your knowledge so that they know that they matter, and they can make a difference in this world.
Let’s show some love for Women’s History Month! Lift each other up and don’t forget to hug yourself and smile. You deserve it!
March is national optimism month. It can be hard at times to be optimistic when life happens. Although, I think those are the times to have an optimistic outlook on things. Just think of the good you will be doing for yourself. In the long run, with a more positive attitude you will have lower stress levels, be more hopeful and have a more upbeat and cheerful feeling about life.
Optimism can be a challenge when the world spends so much time on social media. It is so easy for someone to see something on the internet and compare it to their own lives. We must remember that not everything we see on the web is as it seems. With that, know that we all have our separate paths in life and will not always arrive at certain destinations at the same time. It will take some of us longer to achieve certain things.
During March, we can start to take notice of our ways of looking at situations. If we take stock of how we perceive things we can then learn to change the negative thoughts into positive ones. Learn how to see the best case-scenario rather than the worst. We can team up with someone we trust and hold each other accountable. Help the other person change that negative into a positive.
March 12-18 Sleep Awareness Week
Did you know? Driving while drowsy slows reaction time just the same as driving drunk.
Sleep affects our health in many ways. Being well rested lets us excel mentally and physically. Lack of sleep has less than optimal effects on us. Try these simple things for better sleep; limit alcohol close to bedtime, no screen time before bed or while lying in bed, stop caffeine at least 4 hours before bed, try not to exercise close to the time you are going to sleep. Adequate sleep helps reduce stress, keeps our heart healthy and aids with weight loss. So, don’t forget to get your ZZZs.
March 12
Daylight Saving Time
Spring forward for Daylight Saving Time. It’s the time of year when we set the clocks ahead one hour. This practice allows for more hours of daylight during the warmer months of the year.
Celebrate the patron saint of Ireland today. People pay tribute to Irish history by attending mass and/or having a big meal. You will see a lot of the color Green. This represents the vast green land of Ireland. Although the 4-leaf clover is said to bring good luck, the Shamrock is one of the Irish symbols. Check out the web for some fun Green cocktails. You can make them with or without alcohol. Get the family together to make some recipes to commemorate Irish heritage.
March 20
First Day of Spring
Hello Spring! Milder days ahead. Also, the time of year when trees start to bloom. The pollen count rises also. Get your allergy medicine ready for those who are affected by this. In the Spring we have a lot more time to go for walks before or after work and enjoy some sun and outdoor time.
March 22
Ramadan Begins
Ramadan is a religious Islamic holiday observed by Muslims. From sun-up to sun-down Muslims fast and try to avoid eating, drinking, smoking and any impure behaviors and/or thoughts. Ramadan is when you will see increased prayers, time worshipping at the mosque and reading the Quran. This time of self-reflection helps to clean the soul and show empathy for those less fortunate. Fasting is a way to acknowledge that some people around the world are hungry. Those who practice the Islamic religion can find places of worship in virtually every state in the United States. Even though there are millions of people in the U.S. who are Muslims, the largest Muslim population can be found in Indonesia.
March 22
Día de la Abolición de Esclavitud
Did you know? It was once illegal to own or display the Puerto Rican Flag.
Emancipation Day (Puerto Rico)
March 22, 1873 marks the end of slavery in Puerto Rico. After colonization, disease and mistreatment wiped out most of the native people, this resulted in a major labor shortage. Gold mining was the popular trade at the time, so workers were needed for this reason. After gold mining stopped bringing in profits, sugar cane was the next thing to bring in money for the island. African slaves were used for enrichment of the land on plantations for the production of sugar. The African slave trade in PR lasted over 30 decades. Emancipation Day in Puerto Rico is an important day to celebrate freedom. Bomba and Plena music has strong African roots. Dancing to this music, along with native meals, festivals and parades are some of the ways to celebrate Emancipation Day.
Afro Puerto Rican flag and Resistance Puerto Rican flag
Puerto Rican Flag
Save Your Vision Month
Take the time to give your eyes a little extra TLC. It is better to preserve our eyesight as much as possible, rather than letting it get so bad that it creates things that cannot be reversed. Our eyes are precious. Besides, we only get one set. Try some preventative things like, limiting screen time. When reading make sure the room is well lit. Wear sunglasses to help against UV sun rays. Schedule that much needed eye exam. You know who you are… If you catch yourself squinting or needing to use extra bright light just to read certain things.
I can only read so much
Of this BS and such and such
Who in their right mind
This info is so maligned
Where are the hopeful stories
Of animal rescues and watching lories
Of good-will and cheer
Of not crime and fear
Stories about curing cancer
Slashing grocery prices like a lancer
Restoring faith in the system
Less about being a robbery victim
Thieves need to get a job
Stop stealing and being a slob
People work hard for their money
This is not the land of milk and honey
What about affordable housing and gas
Less homelessness, are these things of the past
Where are the stories to make you smile
Laugh inside and not bring up the bile
Bile that makes you want to gag
Reading news about this mixed bag
Report on something better
About successes and the go-getters
Maybe then I can read this thing
See a story that makes me want to sing
And not want to set the pages ablaze
Watching the ashes blow away in a haze
Written in response to Sadje's prompt, what to you see #174
What does it mean to be humble? What do you think of when you hear this word? On Wednesday, February 22 it’s all about being humble. Take this day and ground yourself. Bring it down a notch. Do not brag, boast or exhibit pride. It is a day to come down to earth and come to grips with the fact that you are not perfect. Think of ways to humble yourself.
Remember that we are human and make mistakes. Accept that and embrace it. Even if you do not accept the faults and imperfections of others, do it for yourself. Put your ego aside. For some, this is a hard thing to do. Just practice some humility and you will see and feel the difference.
Being a well-accomplished person is no small feat. Just try to keep it under wraps for the day. It does not mean that you have low self-esteem or are downgrading what you have achieved. Instead, about having that personal knowledge of your achievements and not feeling the need to verbalize them at every turn.
Examples
Listen to others who are speaking, without interrupting. This shows the person that you are truly listening to what they have to say. You are putting them first in that moment and not just concerned with what you have to say.
Pride has no place on Humble Day. Put others first. Doing so opens us up to new experiences. When we get out of our own head, we have room to grow and see things from another perspective.
Be mindful of your actions and words. Being mindful shows that even though you may feel a certain way, keep it to yourself and consider the other person’s feelings. Little things do matter.
For those with children, teach them how to humble themselves. Explain to them why it can change their outlook and make them go deeper to learn some things about themselves.
Instead of seeking out attention, give attention to someone else. See how you feel afterward.
Outcomes
Come to the realization that life is not always about ourselves but about embracing others too. When we celebrate others, it is all a trickle affect and it comes back around.
Know that boasting proves nothing. Keeping it to yourself sometimes can be a good thing. Your accomplishments will be obvious. No need to brag and tell everyone. Your inner light will shine through.
Humbling yourself does not diminish who you are. The practice of being humble gives us the chance to look outside of ourselves and see other things and people. It forces us to see life through a new and different lens.
Bring It Down a Notch
Putting away the selfishness and pride truly does make a difference to all mankind. When we humble ourselves, we are more likely to help others. This practice lends us with more awareness of what is happening around us and in the world. It is a way of enlightenment.
Humble Day is on February 22nd but who says it has to end there. If you have a humbling experience that changed your life, consider sharing. It may inspire others and let them see the light. If you don’t want to share, that’s okay too. Go back to that moment and use that experience as an example to guide your actions on Humble Day.
Both men and women have lost in love at least once. Some are fortunate enough to have found their true love. I say true love because there is a difference in saying you love someone and showing it. Do you think men are more capable of love than women? It depends on who you ask and their experience with love.
In my opinion, I think women are more capable of love. The reason is because women are nurturers and mothers and as such, more accepting. I don’t believe that you can be accepting without love. You have to start with love in order to accept or nurture something or someone.
Don’t get me wrong, men are capable too. I have seen it. It does exist. We must give them credit. I think the thing that holds some men back is feeling less masculine when showing their loving or nurturing side.
Can you answer this? Is a man or woman more capable of love? What do you think?
Unity is peace, Unity is the umbrella
Being united means coming together
Together for whatever comes our way
Differences, views and opinions
The issues will come our way almost every day
Unity will be the saving grace
Grace keeps our sanity together in every way
Grace begets compassion and understanding
Compassion for what is different than us
Understanding for things we don’t know
In our hearts grace and unity will overflow
Equality, acceptance, hope and love
Is what a sense of unity does
For communities both below and above
We may look different on the outside
But we all have blood running through our veins
Let not those things make us collide
When we have grace, love remains
Unity not division, lets love take over
What we thought we knew about one another
Take the time to speak
Speak to that sister or brother
Resist the urge that breeds
Hatred, violence and racial bias
We may not always agree
Unity is what frees
Black history month and year long
Promote unity not the same sad song
Songs of brutality, racism and wrongs
Unity pushes everyone along
---O'Nika McGill---
Unity was first published on Inspire By O'Nika
Feb 5, 2023
Black Love Day is about all kinds of love. Be it love of Black culture, romantic black love, love of African American people. Any kind of admiration for Black creatives, musicians, performers, inventors, entrepreneurs, etc. Alternatively, some will celebrate their special someone on this day instead of Valentine’s Day. Show love on this day and think about how we can instill more peace and less hate in the Black community. We have Ayo Handy-Kendi to thank for this celebration of Black Love. Practice self-love and forgiveness. Take a moment to share your personal stories of affection/admiration for African American people on social media. Volunteer, educate others and/or support African American businesses. Celebrate in a way that is the most meaningful for you.
February is the time of year we focus on heart health. Even though we focus on taking care of it all year long. It is an important organ and I know we don’t think about it, but it works hard for our entire body. The heart pumps blood through our arteries to all the vital areas it needs to go. Without proper heart function, we can have health problems. Some of these may not be obvious at first. The heart symbolizes love, so we should show our bodies some love. Nourishing ourselves with healthier foods to contribute to better functionality is the key. Exercise also helps to keep the blood flowing and bring oxygen to our heart.
Feb 14- Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is usually a day for couples to celebrate and show their love for each other. February 14th is one of the top spending holidays. You will see people wearing red or pink. A lot of flowers, candy, balloons, jewelry, personal gifts and dinner dates will be had on this day. Everyone shows their token of love in different ways. You may have a personal ritual that you partake in on Valentine’s Day to show your love. Send you Valentine’s Day wishes to yoru closest friends, relatives and loved ones.
Luis Muñoz Marín was the first governor to be elected in Puerto Rico. He was re-elected 3 times. The Puerto Rican native was instrumental in efforts to improve farming and housing on the island. In addition to his political pursuits, he was a journalist. The airport in PR is named after him, as well as part of 116th Street in Spanish Harlem, NY.
Feb 20- Presidents Day
In 2023, President’s Day is February 20th. Take this day to learn about the past presidents. Finding out what happened and how these men changed America will help to understand some of the customs of the present day. Do you know how cherries are associated with today? Hint; think George Washington.
Feb 26- Pistachio Day
Pistachios are nuts that come in several varieties. Buy these shelled, roasted, unsalted or without the shell. Although these nuts provide health benefits, be careful not to eat too many. Pistachios are packed with protein and fiber. Therefore, they help in losing weight. By keeping you feeling full, they help you to consume less. Pistachio’s aid in lowering high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Try incorporating these into your diet and see the changes in your health. They are also good for heart health.
Excuse me, may I interject
Let me put things into retrospect
I am a human, animate
Between two sculptures, laminate
Laminate, sculptures void of life
Stone-faced, emotionless
Let me inject some feelings
Sadness, indifference, or joy will suffice
Sadness has its place of reflection
The level of sadness depends on the inflection
Inflection in the voice of the owner
The owner who claims it
Indifference can go either way
You either care or you don't
Feelings have a way to sway
Even the most stone-faced and emotionless
Joy is what turns it all around
What makes a smile out of a frown
Let your joy astound
Inject joy and peace will abound
--O'Nika McGill--
Most of the time, activities are more fun when we do them with someone else. It can take an outing from a 4-5 experience up to a 7-8 on the scale of enjoyable. On the other hand, there are some things better left to be done alone. Like getting a haircut, an interview or going to the dentist. Let’s look at what activities you like to do alone.
Shopping, for example, is something that we like to do. When I say we, I mean women. We like to have someone with us to give their honest opinion on how an outfit looks, or someone to help us pick something out for that special occasion. Shopping can be an all day excursion. When it’s time for a break, stop for lunch and then continue.
For those who take a more practical or organized approach to shopping, they want to be alone. They know what stores they are going to and what they need. It makes for an easy in and out shopping experience. People who do this are not interested in browsing the store or lollygagging. Plus, they don’t want to waste time going store to store spending more money.
Some people make this a family affair. Which means that everyone in the house is going. Whether you want to go or not doesn’t matter, so don’t make a fuss. This can also be seen as a solo outing to go to your house of worship, to receive your blessings and to be a blessing to others. You may be going to ask for forgiveness for something personal and would like to be there alone with your thoughts. Also, some prefer to pray by themselves and enjoy the service in solitude.
For those people who still have theaters open, movies usually are a group or couple outing. You can laugh out loud or whisper to your friends or date about the movie. Afterwards, you can have a discussion about how you liked the film. Some people may not want to be talked to while the movie is playing. They zone out and want to focus on what the movie is about. They only want to enjoy their snack and take in the cinematic experience. Plus, you know those who can’t stop talking throughout and you miss key points of the movie.
Going to get a drink or two is fun when you go with someone. Also, this is when a designated driver is needed. For those who like to enjoy spirits, beer, wine it’s nice to have a friend or significant other with you to talk and laugh with. Also, to watch your back if you have one too many. You know who you are 🙂
Share stories, people watch, drink, dance and listen to music at the club. Whatever you do while at the bar or club. When you want to get on the dance floor it takes the edge off to dance with your friends and not alone.
We do have those who go clubbing or to a bar to meet people. In this case, I would say they don’t want any extra weight hanging around. They would prefer to go alone and do what they do.
Going out to eat at a restaurant is usually spent together with someone. The next time you go to a restaurant look around. You will notice that most tables have at least two or more people per table. Singles also go out to eat but you don’t see this as often as groups. It can feel awkward or lonely when you are at a restaurant full of people, and you are there solo. To each their own.
Exercising can be either a group or solo activity. Some people prefer to buddy up with someone else to help keep them accountable. It also makes keeping in shape more fun when there is someone else to do the work with you. Other people prefer to work-out alone. They have no problem keeping up with their physical activity. What is your exercise style?
Tell us about the activities you prefer to do alone. There is nothing wrong with going solo and just doing your thing, alone. Sometimes we do our best work while being alone.
January O Enero, New Beginning. Happy New Year! It’s 2023 and time for a new beginning. What do you resolve for the new year? This is the chance for new goals, new wishes and a time to reflect. Reflect on the year gone by and how you want to spend this next year. Pledge to yourself to add a new skill and/or hobby, pledge to make your health a priority. Pledge to be a little nicer to others as you are to yourself. Think about what you can change to make this year better than the last.
Women Rock! Day
January 3
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels
Women Rock! Day brings to mind, Tina Turner, Pat Benatar, and Aretha Franklin. Women have blazed a trail into the male dominated industry of Rock N’ Roll. Aretha set the stage for being the first woman to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Other women to join the ranks of the Queen of Soul, Aretha, include Stevie Nicks, Janis Joplin, Tina Turner, Gladys Knight, Etta James, Debbie Harry, Madonna and a host of others. A notable performer is Pat Benatar who came on the scene in the late 70s with her debut album, “In the Heat of the Night”. Tina Turner, Queen of Rock N’ Roll, has been in the music industry for about 40-50 years. These women, among others came in and made their stamp on music for women performers today.
Braille is a form of writing for the visually impaired or blind. This was created by Louis Braille who himself became blind, at 10 years of age, due to a self-inflicted accident. The Braille system uses touch and a six-dot formation. The creation of braille is invaluable to those who cannot see. It has allowed the visually impaired the ability to communicate and read like those who still have sight. Since 2018 the United Nations General Assembly declared this a national holiday. On World Braille Day help raise awareness. Learn Braille so that you can help people who may not know how to read it. Braille helps to make people who have lost their sight feel inclusive. Even though individuals may not be able to see, they have other senses to use in order to go about their daily lives. January is also Braille Literacy Month.
Did you know? You can buy toys in Braille. Also, Math and Science has a form of Braille called the Nemeth Code.
Epiphany, Three Kings Day, Día de Los Reyes is January 6th. It marks the last day of the extended Christmas holiday in many Latin American countries. On this day, it is said that the 3 wise men gave gifts to Baby Jesus. Of course, good food is involved for this occasion. Some families enjoy a meal outdoors. More like a feast which includes dishes of beans with rice, slow roasted meat, plantains, soups and other traditional Latin cuisine. Also, king cake is a part of this celebration. This is a ring-shaped cake with a hidden doll baked inside. The doll symbolizes Baby Jesus. Should you be the one to get the doll inside it means that you have to bring the next king cake. Also, it signifies that you will have prosperity and luck.
Today we observe the birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr who was born on January 15, 1929. He was a non-violent, civil rights leader.
Why is he celebrated?
He had a hand in desegregation. Gone are the days of separate water fountains, bathrooms and seating on public transportation among Black and White people.
Dr. King fought to eradicate racism. He fought for civil and economic rights of people.
MLK was the youngest person to receive the Nobel Peace Prize.
The voting rights act of 1965 is to his credit. Had he not persisted and held the Southern Christian Leadership Conference in Selma, Alabama, this law might not have been passed.
As you can see, he is responsible for bringing people together and effecting change for the better. And not just Black people, but all people.
Did you know?
Samuel L. Gravely (1922-2004) was the first African American to command a United States Navy Warship. He also joined the Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity., the first fraternity for African Americans. He accomplished a lot of first achievements in the military for African Americans.
National Puzzle Day is a way to exercise your brain. Whether you like Jigsaw puzzles, crosswords or Jenga it does not matter, they all provide benefits for the brain. Doing puzzles are stress relievers and fun. You can do a jigsaw puzzle by yourself or with friends and family. You can start off with a small jigsaw and work your way up to 500-1000 pieces. Enjoy yourself, these are not just for kids but there are plenty of adult puzzles out there.
Stalking– the act or crime of willfully and repeatedly following or harassing another person in circumstances that would cause a reasonable person to fear injury or death especially because of express or implied threats.
In January we bring attention to this important topic. Stalking is a crime in all 50 states and Washington D.C. This is not limited to physical stalking but cyberstalking as well. Women are stalked almost 3 times more than men. In 2011, former President Barack Obama made the first proclamation for stalking awareness. If you feel that you are being stalked and are in immediate danger, call 911. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. Let your family/friends know if you feel like you are being followed, receiving threats, getting unwanted attention. Do not engage with a stalker. If you can, gather evidence. We all have the right to feel safe at work, home or anywhere we go. Spread awareness and be safe.
Open me, open me
What is inside
The suspense is killing me
Taking me on a wild ride
A new pair of shoes
A new dress
My mind is wandering
Let me take a guess
Open me, open me
But please don't shake
The sound may give it away
What has taken a long time to make
A photo album
put together nicely
Fond memories of yesteryear
Nothing too pricey
Open me, open me
If you get lonely or sad
Just look at the pictures
You will be glad you had
Memories of yesteryear
what a joy to see
lost in the back of my mind
What a delight to finally find
Is it better to be wealthy with little to no true friends or humble/poor with many friends?
Wealth affords a lot of things. Alternatively, having friends are an advantage too. You can consider yourself rich if you have both wealth and a network of friends. True friends. Sometimes when people are financially wealthy, they have people around them but not necessarily all of them can be called a friend. You know, there are groupies, moochers, free loaders, etc. It can be hard to tell if those people are truly your friend or just hanging around because of what you have. And more importantly, what they can get from you. Call it what it is, I’m sure you have all seen this scenario before.
Having friends provides an emotional support system
A listening ear is just a phone call away in those times when you just need to talk
Feeling of community
Social life is always possible
Being humble/poor with many friends gives you the feeling that the people in your life are there for you. They are not concerned with what you have or do not have. You don’t have to wonder if they are around for some other reason. Genuine friends are hard to come by and when you don’t have much in the way of material things, but you have friends, that is nothing to take lightly.
Having money is good but it comes with some downsides too. Like not knowing who has an agenda or ulterior motive. You can buy many things with money, but you can’t buy friends or love. Money does not buy happiness.
On the other hand, having friends does provide happiness. You have people around you to celebrate you and in return; you them. Maybe being humble/poor causes stress in your life. That friend(s) sometimes makes it all better when they still visit you. They don’t judge you for your humble wardrobe or humble home.
Inside the shell of the human is complex. Humans are made up of more than just a shell. More than what you see on the outside. Beneath the skin, lies character, emotions, and the essence of a person. What we see is not always representative of what is inside. Some people are good at camouflaging their feelings. You would never know that something horrific was going on.
If something seems off about someone you know, stop for a minute to ask. Not to say, do an interogation but stop to check on that person. You can’t tell from the outside what people are going through. This time of year brings a lot of emotions and triggers for people. It is not always the happiest of times for everyone.
How to be there for someone
If you see someone going through a hard time, you want to help. The question is, “how do you help?”. It can be tricky when you worry about how the person may respond to your concern. Some people may take it as you being intrusive in their life, some may be offended that you said something, some may be relieved that their feelings are being seen by someone else.
When in doubt about how to help someone who is depressed, grieving, sad or just not themselves, here are some suggestions:
Listen, just let them talk and you listen. Sometimes they just want to be heard. Be that ear and/or shoulder to cry on.
Be there, let them know that you are there mentally and physically. It is therapeutic for some just to be in the presence of someone who cares. It brings comfort for them to not be alone.
Offer to help with everyday chores. If they need help with housework, or a meal or two. Maybe they have errands that they need help with. Make sure to keep your word with this and don’t offer anything you are not willing to actually do.
Don’t judge; it might seem like something small to you but it obviously feels different for them.
Offer resources like any local places, online sites, or phone numbers where they can connect with someone.
Unless you are a licensed professional, it is hard to tell what a person needs in order to feel better. It is difficult to see a friend or loved one going through something and not know what to do. Just use your best judgement and try your best to help.
Inside the shell of the human holds many things. This time of year can be extremely difficult for many people. Just be mindful of this and keep that in the forefront of your mind. Mental health is not something a lot of people want to discuss, but it is very important. Of course, take care of yourself first. Otherwise, you cannot be good for others if you, yourself are not good.
