Is it ok to complain about how things are in the world and your rights, even when you do not bother to get off of social media for an hour to make your voice heard, at a minimum of once every 4 years? 🤔
Hmmm, what do you think? I pose this question as it relates to voting. Some people complain about their rights and how they do not have this or that. Also, about how things are in the world. Ok, so I wonder if these same people are making their voices heard. Are they getting out there, at the basic minimum of every 4 years for the presidential election. I am not including any other election like the primaries or local elections. Just the presidential race.
Got jokes? Show your chops and tell a joke on August 16. Help keep the love and smiles coming by spreading the joy of a joke. Share funny memes or gags on August 16 to celebrate.
Laughter is the best medicine. Today we can make each other laugh and smile by sharing bits of humor. Want to brighten someone’s day by making them smile? Try telling a joke. I’m always up for a good laugh, how about you?
Telling jokes is harder than you might think. Comedians everywhere make it look so easy. Something that you might find funny and get tickled by the next person may not find funny at all. It’s that moment you deliver the punchline, and you hear crickets? After telling your joke, the last thing you want to hear is silence. Instead, go for laughter and smiles. A rupture of laughter, smiles and stomach-holding is the reaction you want to go for.
Personally, I look at the delivery of the joke. Two people can tell the exact same joke but if one of them is very monotone and robot-like and the other is more animated and livelier; usually the more effective delivery method to illicit laughter is the livelier of the two. What do think makes the best way to tell a joke?
Have you ever tried telling a joke and it was a bust? If so, how did you recover from that and how did you change your strategy? Also, do you think someone who has a more serious personally can effectively tell a joke and make others laugh?
If you receive a gift certificate to the gym from your husband or wife, how would you react?
A gift is a gift, right? So, it may seem, but if you receive a gift certificate from your loved one to work out, how would you feel? Would you be happy and accept the gift or get upset by the implication. It can go either way. You decide. What’s your response?
Reposting this in light of another tragic and unjustified police shooting of Sonya Massey. A black woman who called police because she thought there was an intruder outside her home. Calling police for help and sadly, she lost her life that day.
Rest in peace, Sonya Massey and countless others who have lost their lives by the hands of police.
Let’s take a minute to bring attention to something that is happening all over the country. African Americans have lost their lives due to police brutality. It does nothing for the officers who honor life and truly believe in the notion to protect and serve. When you see officers on both sides of the coin, how do you discern between the ones who uphold the law and those who do not?
Being in a role of authority, there comes great responsibility. Responsibility to uphold duties for the community in its entirety. More frequently these days this is not the case, the opposite is happening. Basic human rights are being taken away at the hands of people who took an oath to protect and serve. Preserve life, not take it away.
Too many times, certain people take their authoritative position to the extreme. When people see you, they should not fear for their lives. They should have the opposite feeling of comfort and/or safety. When people see you, they should not run away from you. Instead, walk towards you with a general feeling of trust. What happens to the world when the people who are meant to be in place to help others are the real perpetrators!
It is a form of abuse of power. Taking advantage of individuals because you are in a position to temporarily control a situation. Using phrases such as, “I felt that my life was in jeopardy”, as an excuse. An excuse to beat, choke, kneel, shoot, choke and kill another human being. And, why? Because you can. Because you hide behind a piece of metal that you wear on your chest. You escape prosecution because you are upheld by some who wear the same piece of metal.
Protect people, preserve life. That piece of metal does not give you rights to take another’s life. Those people have families, just like you. Some also have children, just like you. They have people who love them and are looking forward to them coming home safely. What kind of protection are you providing when people have to take out their cell phone to record a routine traffic stop? Disrupting people’s lives with your contempt is not acceptable. What happened to trying to restore order by using the least amount of force? Thank you to the officers who help people, who are serving all people. To the ones who are not, shame on you!
Serve All People
As a uniformed person, working under the law. Honor that! Serve the people. Serve us with dignity, respect, kindness. I know there are encounters that you experience where you are not met with kindness. You are trained to handle these situations. This is what you signed up for and are trained to handle such situations in the least harmful way.
I implore you to approach your daily interactions, while on the job with humility. Please, do not wake up and put on that uniform with contempt and hatred for people and your profession. If you find it so hard to go into it with some semblance of humanity, stop and think. Think before you take someone else’s life. Stop and ask yourself if this is the profession for you. We all deserve to live. We all deserve to go home at the end of the day.
Rest in Peace
Let’s take a moment to remember some of the people who lost their lives due to brutality.
Tyre Nichols
George Floyd
Tamir Rice
Eric Garner
Sonya Massey
Walter Scott
Breonna Taylor
Sandra Bland
Philando Castile
What can we do?
Protect and Serve was originally posted on Feb 11, 2023.
Can You Answer This? Is Lack of Eye Contact Narcissistic?
Why don’t you look at me? I’m talking to you.
Eye contact is an essential part of communication. It is a non-verbal way to connect with each other. As vital as it is for effective communication, it is sometimes overlooked. No pun intended. How much importance do you place on the use or lack of eye contact in conversations? Do you prefer people to connect via eye contact or the averted look?
Some people feel uncomfortable making eye contact or when someone looks at them too intently. Shyness is one reason why people may avoid eye contact. I’m sure if you ask around you will get varying reasons of why people prefer not to make eye contact. You may think it is rude or downright disrespectful. Anxiety or nervousness are also causes for this type of avoidance.
Lack of eye contact is a tactic of narcissistic individuals. Not to say that everyone who avoids making eye contact is a narcissist, as there are many reasons for this. It is used to up play the narcissists feelings of importance. By avoiding eye contact while speaking with others shows that they are not interested in making a true connection with the person to whom they are speaking. It makes them feel superior with a thought such as, “I do not need to look at you, I am above you”.
Weigh in on this and share what you feel on this topic.
Can You Answer This? What is the Best Place You Have Travelled?
Travelling
Name a place that you have been to that you really enjoyed. What did you most like about it and would you travel there again? Was it the culture, the food, the scenic views, music, people, etc…
Back to basics, why representation is important takes a look at how we represent ourselves. I do not mean in a court of law but in general day to day life. We say so much without speaking a word. Just by how we present at the first outward appearance. Like it or not, we are judged before we utter a single word. However, I do not agree that we should be judged in this way, it does happen.
It brings to mind the saying, “do not judge a book by its cover”. I agree that one should not be judged by how we appear. Unfortunately, it does not work that way. People form an opinion of us within the first few minutes of meeting us even before we say our name. Which is why I think bringing it back to basics is important.
Take the Time
Take the time to iron or steam clothing before leaving the house. It doesn’t require a lot of time to do this. It is one of those small details that sometimes gets overlooked and seen as unimportant. Presenting yourself in ironed or steamed clothing sends the message that you do care and you took pride in how you represent yourself.
If you show up to an important meeting or appointment and are in wrinkled clothing, do you think you will be received well? Take the time. The person(s) you are meeting may perceive you as being lazy, unprepared, or incompetent.
Leave the Bonnet Behind
Leave the bonnet behind when going outdoors. The bonnet, head scarf, head wrap, whatever you like to call it is meant to protect and preserve your hair while sleeping. Wearing this outdoors is not a good look. Just imagine you slept in the bonnet then go out shopping. When you get back home, you will sleep in that same bonnet and bring all those pollutants back into your house and into your bed.
It also sends the message that you weren’t too bothered or concerned with combing your hair or putting it in a ponytail. We want to be taken seriously and showing up anywhere but the hair salon or hospital with that bonnet on is not the way. Medical and religious reasons are excluded for the purpose of this post. Back to basics, take the time. Even if that bonnet matches your outfit, leave it at the house. This is not a fashion accessory.
Sleepwear; Oh Dear!
Sleepwear like pajama pants is made for sleeping. So many people are outside wearing pajamas at restaurants, shopping, appointments, etc. You slept in those and went to an establishment and are going back into your home and will sleep in those same PJs. It only takes a few minutes to put on apparel meant for the outdoors. Yes, they are comfortable but when you are seen outdoors in PJs it sends the message that you just woke up and went out without the proper basics.
Although, we do not sleep in our bed slippers I have to add this to the list. Slippers like the fuzzy pink or black ones with the toes out are meant for the house. I know you just got your toes done and you want to show them off. Throw on some sandals or flip flops. Also, the cute fluffy animal slippers. Those slippers ae cute in the house not outdoors picking up all kinds of dirt and germs that you track back into the house.
The Basics
The basics are simple and short steps we can take before presenting ourselves to the world. We are human and no one is perfect. We can bring it back to basics with these small details. There are times we will skip certain things for various reasons. We might not feel well, or wake up late for work, etc. We must give ourselves grace.
By now, most of you know that the month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month. It is the time of year when we check in on our wellbeing. This includes psychological, emotional and physical health.
What exactly is Mental Health? It is how you feel on a daily basis. Your overall state of mind. Are you happy, sad, depressed, feeling anxiety, etc. Our state of mind determines how well we can adapt and deal with challenges that come our way.
Please know that mental health are two words that are healthy and not dirty words. Some people shy away or feel like those are forbidden words. The more we embrace the concept the better we can understand it. It can lead us to learn more about ourselves and learn to open our minds and hearts.
How about we assess how we are doing mentally? I propose an assignment for the next few days. Keep a journal of how you are feeling. You can use your cell phone or write it in a journal, whichever you choose. Note any events that caused a change in mood. An event that made you happy or something that was stressful.
The purpose is to take note of your general state of mind so that any concerning areas can be addressed. Depending on how far or deeply you want to go, you can pursue counseling, behavior modification and lifestyle changes. Try exercising, a change in your eating habits. Getting on a regular sleep schedule. Engaging in things that make you most happy. If that means more social outings, then just do it! Get out more, socialize with friends, family, colleagues. Your happy place might look very different in comparison to others. You might be most happy at the gym, working out or joining a Yoga class. Maybe you are a dancer and like to join a Salsa class.
Mental Health Awareness
A-Ask yourself the question, “How am I really feeling?”
W- Wake up with a spirit of hope
A- Aim to find the positive things in your day
R- Relax and be kind to yourself
E- Exercise forgiveness of others and yourself
N- Negativity has no place in your life
E- Express gratitude, be thankful
S- Say no when your plate is too full, and you are overwhelmed
S- Start looking at the glass as half full and build on that
The month is almost over but that does not mean that we should stop caring about our mental health. We need to be aware of our overall well being all year long. Start today and see what a difference it makes.
Within you is the power to control your happiness.
Seeking counsel, for the purpose of this post, means to ask for advice. Asking for advice can sometimes be a good idea. Gaining insight into a situation or question about something important helps in the decision-making process.
Keep in mind, that when you seek counsel, choose the person(s) wisely. Example, if you are interested in real estate. Ask someone who is already a realtor or someone who is aspiring to do the same thing. More likely than not, you will get more accurate information from someone who is already doing what you are thinking about getting into.
“The advice we receive can shape who we are – so choose your advisors wisely.”
Unknown
Valuable information to gain from someone who is already in your field of interest include the challenges they had to overcome to get to where they are. Also, the things that were easy. It helps to also ask more than one person in said field. Avoid asking Sally on the stroll, from the block. Even though you have known Sally for over 10 years, she is not about business. She has other interests in life.
Alternatively, avoid divulging your aspirations to everyone. Some people may come off as being happy for you and supportive. And, of course, we all have people in our lives who are just that. Remember, not everyone fits that mold. Be selective with whom you are seeking counsel from.
The overwhelming amount of information is ever increasing. We see the latest, trending news and side with the masses. Or are you one to follow your own mind? Do you see a topic and automatically adopt the views of the masses?
It can be easy to go along with what everyone is saying or believing. At the end of the day, you have to hold your own truth. We get incoming traffic from TV, the internet, radio, people, videos, books and other forms. By “incoming traffic” I mean information.
The Source
Always consider the source. So often I witness people going along, or siding with the masses. Why? Follow your own mind. Rely on what you believe and know. It leads me to wonder if some people do it as a means of fitting in. Being with the “in crowd”. It’s that same “in crowd” that will get you into trouble.
The information we receive is not always aligned with our personal opinion. That is okay, nothing wrong with that. Just consider if you are receiving information from a source who likes to stir things up. Is the source coming from an objective point of view. Is the information being put out there to inform people or create hysteria? Consider the source.
Conversation
If a group of people all agree on a subject, does it make it true? Or is the conversation more interesting when there are differing views?
Having a differing opinion on something does not make you an outcast. It just means that you believe in what you believe in and are not jumping on the bandwagon, with everyone else. Basic conversation may be a reason that people agree on subjects and follow along with the consensus. In some instances, it is okay to join the crowd if it is for conversation’s sake. Do your homework and research things for yourself. Oftentimes, there are bits of missing information.
A group may agree on a subject that you see all over the news, etc. It does not mean that someone else’s truth, is your own. Just because a friend, relative or group of people have a point of view, does not mean that it has to be yours as well. I’m not saying that you should not listen, and value the opinion of others. Yes, of course listen to the views of others but do not take it as your own reality. Especially, if it doesn’t fit. The same way another person feels a certain way, you have your own views and/or opinions. It does not mean that they are right, and you are wrong.
The information age has so much out there in the universe, and it comes at us every day. We can decide to block it out by turning off the news, not getting on the internet or listening to the radio. It then leads some people to feel like they are not informed if they do not have some type of incoming information. You decide how much of it you want to filter.
Staying up to date with all the media is exhausting at times. You hear so much information, then you have to figure out how much of it is true. Words sometimes have a way of swaying people into believing certain things.
A Closer Look
Research, research, research Taking on the truth of others or believing that your fate will be the same as people you know, is not the case. Approach personal situations based on your own circumstances, not those of others. Just like the common phrases that people overuse, what do they really mean? Some people are only repeating it because they hear it all the time.
We may have commonalities in life with people we know, but that does not mean the end result will be the same. We have to remember that we are in control of our behavior and cannot control what others do or say.
How do you decipher information you read or hear? Do you take it at face value, or do you confirm it for yourself? Do you find yourself siding with the masses or following your own mind?
January 10th is National Houseplant Appreciation Day. All of us do not have green thumbs but there are plants out there for everyone. Some plants require more attention than others. The basics are water and sunlight. Let’s look at the helpful benefits of plants.
Houseplant on bookshelf
Houseplants give us a sense of calm and they also produce oxygen. If you want to observe National Houseplant Appreciation Day on January 10th, start by buying a plant if you do not have any. For the plants you already have, make sure they have water and the right amount of sunlight.
You might want to spruce up the place with the purchase of an added plant for the house. Consider gifting a houseplant to someone. This also might be a good day to teach your children about growing houseplants. I will admit, I do not have a green thumb, but I take my time and go slowly with nurturing and taking care of my plants.
Health benefits include mood boosting, removing dust particles from a room, added moisture during those winter months, fragrant plants for relaxation and medicinal plants like Aloe. Also, some plants help to clean the air and make breathing easier. Simply put, adding some greenery to your space has many positive benefits.
Don’t forget to talk to your plants. You will feel better, and it will make you smile too. Plus, they look and smell nice too.
Houseplant
Try these varieties to get you started!
Money Trees-require less water and light
Snake Houseplant- air purifying plant
Aglaonema Plant-splash of color and low maintenance
ZZ Plant- keep this one in low light/shady areas
Dieffenbachia Plant- needs medium-bright light. Works well for humid areas like kitchen and/or bathroom
Spider Plant- easy to maintain
Add some greenery to your space at home and try your hand to find your favorite plant variety. They are great stress relievers as well. Can you see the helpful benefits of plants and all their uses?
A skill set is something that we each own. It is a part of what makes us who we are. No one is good at everything but there are some things that we excel at. So, the moral of the story is to rock your skill set.
The things that you are good at, use those things. You know how the saying goes, “use it or lose it”. The same applies here. We were gifted these gifts so that we can hone them and put them to use.
Public Speaking
Public speaking is a skill set. If you feel comfortable and, in your element, when speaking to a crowd/group, do more of that. If you get a feeling of satisfaction, knowing that you have helped someone with the message you are bringing, expound on that. Everyone cannot get up in front of a crowd to say one sentence. It is harder than you think. Do not discount this skill.
Oppurtunites for public speaking are available. Through volunteering, networking and business events, politics and education, these skills are very useful. Children can always benefit from hearing sage advice and soaking up useful information. Information that they can take with them and apply in today’s world. Information that will make them stop and think first about their actions and the consequences.
Listening Skills
Listening skills. Believe it or not it is difficult to be a good listener. Some of us are only interested in what we have to say and not what the other person is saying. It requires patience and constraint to not jump in while the other person is talking. You have to concentrate on what you are hearing and comprehend, understand and process before you iterate your next thought. Listen to understand and not just to hear.
Animal Lover
Love animals? If you love animals, a career at a veterinary clinic may be just for you. Maybe you want to be a pet sitter or dog walker. The animal shelters always have fur babies who need a good home. Consider adopting one of them.
Helping People
Helping people complete tasks is another area that you can explore. The elderly or others who are incapacitated may need help with everyday chores. You can explore a career in customer service or nursing. So many options exist for you to shine and do what you love.
It is a new year, and we can begin again. Do the things we haven’t done in a while. If you are short on time, consider volunteering for something that fits your schedule. No matter what your skill set is, you possess it for a reason. Use it.
What is a screw face? It is a very crafty tool when used correctly. The timing has to be right, and you have to know when to turn it off. Let me describe it first. It is when you tighten your face muscles and create a face that tells people to back off. It is a face that lets people know that you mean business and you are not playing games. Distortion of your face to look mean. Think Sticky Fingaz, Busta Rhymes, Ice Cube, Fredo Starr, etc…
A time to put on your mean/angry face is when you are out and about. Riding the subway or out walking on the street too. It lets people know not to try you, that you see them, and they better not approach you. Also, in your car put on your screw face. This way the “would be” carjackers will think very carefully before trying to take your whip.
Sometimes you can have on your screw face and not be aware of it. You are just so used to tightening your face it is second nature. Just say the phrase, “relax your face muscles”. You can also practice this in the mirror so that you can see the difference. We send messages without speaking a word and this includes our facial expression.
Useful times for a frown
Some people use a screw face to ward off other people at work. For example, if you never get a chance to do your work because people are always coming into your office with questions and/or requests. A screw face is useful at this time. Because; if people think that you are having a bad day or you are upset about something, a screw face buys you some uninterrupted time to complete your tasks. You will have less knocks on your office door.
If you are out alone and in unfamiliar surroundings, use your screw face. If you look mean and frown your face, it might help to prevent being robbed and/or assaulted. Screwing your face will definitely make someone think twice, especially when they have ill intentions.
Un-screw your face
When you feel like no one approaches you and you can’t figure out why. This is for the ladies; just keep this in mind. When you are out during a social event and men approach your friends but not you. If you have that face that is so uninviting, people are going to pass you by. You might say to yourself, “self, my outfit is nice, my shoes are matching, my hair is laid and my face is beat”. This is the moment to stop and tell yourself to fix your face. Just think, relax your face muscles.
This technique can be used throughout the day. In your car, at work, at home. When you feel like people are not receptive to your approach, it may be that you have a mean look on your face. Again, ladies if you want to interact with a man that you are interested in, fix your face. This is not the time to have on your screw face. You don’t want to be labeled as an angry woman with things on her mind or emotional baggage.
Summation
Whether or not you use a screw face, just know that it comes with benefits. You might wonder why anyone would want to frown or distort their face. If you have ever lived in the inner city or rough parts of town, then you can relate to this, and you will fully understand the necessity of it.
Remember to be aware of whether or not you have a screw face on in social situations. It can make or break your experience. I hope you got a laugh or smile while reading about a screw face. It has some humor in it but is also true. If you have ever had a screw face, you get the meaning and you will learn how to use it.
**1/7/24 post updated: The Hannukah celebration by the Jewish community is not widely celebrated due to security reasons. The current state of affairs of the war, in no way is meant to imply that the Jewish community is the cause. My sincerest apologies to every and anyone who may have been offended. **
The time of year is here. The season of celebration, thankfulness, giving, family and reflection. We have all heard of Thanksgiving, Christmas and Kwanzaa. Among those, people also celebrate Diwali and Three Kings Day. I know there are other celebrations being had across the world. Hannukah is a celebration by the Jewish community. Unfortunately, due to the current state of war these may not be celebrated as widely, because of security reasons.
The point I am getting to, is that no matter what part of the country you live, we all have something to celebrate and be thankful for. The world is not perfect but we can all find at least one thing that is worthy of celebration.
Family
Family is a reason to be thankful. We do not always see eye-to-eye and agree on things, but family is a good reason to be thankful. Maybe, this time of year family can bury the hatchet and squash old beefs in the name of renewal for the new year. Release the weight and be free from the hold. You will feel so much better and be glad that you did.
Health
Celebrate health. If you are ambulatory and have full use of your limbs, celebrate that. You might be thinking, so what that’s nothing to celebrate. Just think if you couldn’t walk on your own. Having to depend on others to do for you. You will appreciate the use of those legs to drive a car, go to work, play with your small children. Taking a walk or even exercising.
Love
Love is a reason to celebrate. If you are coupled up, whether you are married or have a boo. Celebrate that love. Whatever that thing is that brought you together, reflect on it and celebrate in your own way.
The Season for Celebration
Every culture has their holiday rituals and traditions. If you are not in a celebratory mood, try to get out of that funk. It won’t be easy but find a reason to smile. If you haven’t been practicing your religion, go back to that. If you haven’t talked to your friends/family in a while, do that. The things that bring a smile to your face and make you feel good inside, revisit that.
Giving
Let me not forget the season for giving. It is not always about money. Give someone a smile or a compliment. If someone asks for your advice, give them true and sound advice. Hug yourself and say something nice. If you do participate in giving for the holiday season, give with a whole heart and not expect anything in return.
