Categories
Topic Words of Wisdom

What Activities Do You Like to Do Alone?

Most of the time, activities are more fun when we do them with someone else. It can take an outing from a 4-5 experience up to a 7-8 on the scale of enjoyable. On the other hand, there are some things better left to be done alone. Like getting a haircut, an interview or going to the dentist. Let’s look at what activities you like to do alone.

Shopping

Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

Shopping, for example, is something that we like to do. When I say we, I mean women. We like to have someone with us to give their honest opinion on how an outfit looks, or someone to help us pick something out for that special occasion. Shopping can be an all day excursion. When it’s time for a break, stop for lunch and then continue.

For those who take a more practical or organized approach to shopping, they want to be alone. They know what stores they are going to and what they need. It makes for an easy in and out shopping experience. People who do this are not interested in browsing the store or lollygagging. Plus, they don’t want to waste time going store to store spending more money.

Church or religious services

Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay

Some people make this a family affair. Which means that everyone in the house is going. Whether you want to go or not doesn’t matter, so don’t make a fuss. This can also be seen as a solo outing to go to your house of worship, to receive your blessings and to be a blessing to others. You may be going to ask for forgiveness for something personal and would like to be there alone with your thoughts. Also, some prefer to pray by themselves and enjoy the service in solitude.

Movies

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

For those people who still have theaters open, movies usually are a group or couple outing. You can laugh out loud or whisper to your friends or date about the movie. Afterwards, you can have a discussion about how you liked the film. Some people may not want to be talked to while the movie is playing. They zone out and want to focus on what the movie is about. They only want to enjoy their snack and take in the cinematic experience. Plus, you know those who can’t stop talking throughout and you miss key points of the movie.

Bar/Clubbing

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Going to get a drink or two is fun when you go with someone. Also, this is when a designated driver is needed. For those who like to enjoy spirits, beer, wine it’s nice to have a friend or significant other with you to talk and laugh with. Also, to watch your back if you have one too many. You know who you are 🙂

Share stories, people watch, drink, dance and listen to music at the club. Whatever you do while at the bar or club. When you want to get on the dance floor it takes the edge off to dance with your friends and not alone.

We do have those who go clubbing or to a bar to meet people. In this case, I would say they don’t want any extra weight hanging around. They would prefer to go alone and do what they do.

Eating Out

Image by werner moser from Pixabay

Going out to eat at a restaurant is usually spent together with someone. The next time you go to a restaurant look around. You will notice that most tables have at least two or more people per table. Singles also go out to eat but you don’t see this as often as groups. It can feel awkward or lonely when you are at a restaurant full of people, and you are there solo. To each their own.

Exercise

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Exercising can be either a group or solo activity. Some people prefer to buddy up with someone else to help keep them accountable. It also makes keeping in shape more fun when there is someone else to do the work with you. Other people prefer to work-out alone. They have no problem keeping up with their physical activity. What is your exercise style?

What activities do you like to do alone?

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

wHAT ACTIVITIES DO YOU LIKE TO DO ALONE?

Tell us about the activities you prefer to do alone. There is nothing wrong with going solo and just doing your thing, alone. Sometimes we do our best work while being alone.

Categories
Info Self Awareness Topic Words of Wisdom

January O Enero, New Beginning

New Year’s Day

January 1

Image by Alexandra_Koch from Pixabay

January O Enero, New Beginning. Happy New Year! It’s 2023 and time for a new beginning. What do you resolve for the new year? This is the chance for new goals, new wishes and a time to reflect. Reflect on the year gone by and how you want to spend this next year. Pledge to yourself to add a new skill and/or hobby, pledge to make your health a priority. Pledge to be a little nicer to others as you are to yourself. Think about what you can change to make this year better than the last.

Women Rock! Day

January 3

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels

Women Rock! Day brings to mind, Tina Turner, Pat Benatar, and Aretha Franklin. Women have blazed a trail into the male dominated industry of Rock N’ Roll. Aretha set the stage for being the first woman to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Other women to join the ranks of the Queen of Soul, Aretha, include Stevie Nicks, Janis Joplin, Tina Turner, Gladys Knight, Etta James, Debbie Harry, Madonna and a host of others. A notable performer is Pat Benatar who came on the scene in the late 70s with her debut album, “In the Heat of the Night”. Tina Turner, Queen of Rock N’ Roll, has been in the music industry for about 40-50 years. These women, among others came in and made their stamp on music for women performers today.

World Braille Day

January 4

Image by OpenIcons from Pixabay

Braille is a form of writing for the visually impaired or blind. This was created by Louis Braille who himself became blind, at 10 years of age, due to a self-inflicted accident. The Braille system uses touch and a six-dot formation. The creation of braille is invaluable to those who cannot see. It has allowed the visually impaired the ability to communicate and read like those who still have sight. Since 2018 the United Nations General Assembly declared this a national holiday. On World Braille Day help raise awareness. Learn Braille so that you can help people who may not know how to read it. Braille helps to make people who have lost their sight feel inclusive. Even though individuals may not be able to see, they have other senses to use in order to go about their daily lives. January is also Braille Literacy Month.

Did you know? You can buy toys in Braille. Also, Math and Science has a form of Braille called the Nemeth Code.

Three Kings Day

January 6

Image by Pablo Elices from Pixabay

Epiphany, Three Kings Day, Día de Los Reyes is January 6th. It marks the last day of the extended Christmas holiday in many Latin American countries. On this day, it is said that the 3 wise men gave gifts to Baby Jesus. Of course, good food is involved for this occasion. Some families enjoy a meal outdoors. More like a feast which includes dishes of beans with rice, slow roasted meat, plantains, soups and other traditional Latin cuisine. Also, king cake is a part of this celebration. This is a ring-shaped cake with a hidden doll baked inside. The doll symbolizes Baby Jesus. Should you be the one to get the doll inside it means that you have to bring the next king cake. Also, it signifies that you will have prosperity and luck.

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

January 16

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

Today we observe the birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr who was born on January 15, 1929. He was a non-violent, civil rights leader.

Why is he celebrated?

  • He had a hand in desegregation. Gone are the days of separate water fountains, bathrooms and seating on public transportation among Black and White people.
  • Dr. King fought to eradicate racism. He fought for civil and economic rights of people.
  • MLK was the youngest person to receive the Nobel Peace Prize.
  • The voting rights act of 1965 is to his credit. Had he not persisted and held the Southern Christian Leadership Conference in Selma, Alabama, this law might not have been passed.

As you can see, he is responsible for bringing people together and effecting change for the better. And not just Black people, but all people.

Did you know?

Samuel L. Gravely (1922-2004) was the first African American to command a United States Navy Warship. He also joined the Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity., the first fraternity for African Americans. He accomplished a lot of first achievements in the military for African Americans.

National Puzzle Day

January 29

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

National Puzzle Day is a way to exercise your brain. Whether you like Jigsaw puzzles, crosswords or Jenga it does not matter, they all provide benefits for the brain. Doing puzzles are stress relievers and fun. You can do a jigsaw puzzle by yourself or with friends and family. You can start off with a small jigsaw and work your way up to 500-1000 pieces. Enjoy yourself, these are not just for kids but there are plenty of adult puzzles out there.

National Stalking Awareness Month

Photo by Jaclyn Moy on Unsplash

Stalking– the act or crime of willfully and repeatedly following or harassing another person in circumstances that would cause a reasonable person to fear injury or death especially because of express or implied threats.

In January we bring attention to this important topic. Stalking is a crime in all 50 states and Washington D.C. This is not limited to physical stalking but cyberstalking as well. Women are stalked almost 3 times more than men. In 2011, former President Barack Obama made the first proclamation for stalking awareness. If you feel that you are being stalked and are in immediate danger, call 911. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. Let your family/friends know if you feel like you are being followed, receiving threats, getting unwanted attention. Do not engage with a stalker. If you can, gather evidence. We all have the right to feel safe at work, home or anywhere we go. Spread awareness and be safe.

Categories
Topic

Can You Answer This? What Does Home Mean to You?

Image credit, Julia Filirovska on Pexels

Can You Answer This? What does home mean to you?

When you think of home does it make you smile? Home is a safe haven away from everything else. It is the place where you can be yourself. It’s where you go to rest and recharge after a hard day at work. Think of it as your sanctuary.

What I’m saying is that a home is more than just bricks and wood on a cement slab. It’s a place to relax while watching a good movie. Also, one of the best places to enjoy a meal with family. A peaceful place to gather your thoughts and meditate, if you want to.

If home does not resonate in a positive way, think of ways to change that and make it a happy place for you. It’s the least you can do for your wellbeing. 😉 I know it is not always possible to have a quiet moment if you have small children. Just find a space and/or corner of the house to call your own. Make it your go-to place in those moments of stress. Call it whatever you want in order to recharge your mind.

So, what does home mean to you?

Categories
Topic Words of Wisdom

Inside the Shell of the Human

Photo by Joshua Fuller on Unsplash

Inside the shell of the human is complex. Humans are made up of more than just a shell. More than what you see on the outside. Beneath the skin, lies character, emotions, and the essence of a person. What we see is not always representative of what is inside. Some people are good at camouflaging their feelings. You would never know that something horrific was going on.

If something seems off about someone you know, stop for a minute to ask. Not to say, do an interogation but stop to check on that person. You can’t tell from the outside what people are going through. This time of year brings a lot of emotions and triggers for people. It is not always the happiest of times for everyone.

How to be there for someone

If you see someone going through a hard time, you want to help. The question is, “how do you help?”. It can be tricky when you worry about how the person may respond to your concern. Some people may take it as you being intrusive in their life, some may be offended that you said something, some may be relieved that their feelings are being seen by someone else.

When in doubt about how to help someone who is depressed, grieving, sad or just not themselves, here are some suggestions:

  • Listen, just let them talk and you listen. Sometimes they just want to be heard. Be that ear and/or shoulder to cry on.
  • Be there, let them know that you are there mentally and physically. It is therapeutic for some just to be in the presence of someone who cares. It brings comfort for them to not be alone.
  • Offer to help with everyday chores. If they need help with housework, or a meal or two. Maybe they have errands that they need help with. Make sure to keep your word with this and don’t offer anything you are not willing to actually do.
  • Don’t judge; it might seem like something small to you but it obviously feels different for them.
  • Offer resources like any local places, online sites, or phone numbers where they can connect with someone.
Photo by Gus Moretta on Unsplash

In conclusion

Unless you are a licensed professional, it is hard to tell what a person needs in order to feel better. It is difficult to see a friend or loved one going through something and not know what to do. Just use your best judgement and try your best to help.

Inside the shell of the human holds many things. This time of year can be extremely difficult for many people. Just be mindful of this and keep that in the forefront of your mind. Mental health is not something a lot of people want to discuss, but it is very important. Of course, take care of yourself first. Otherwise, you cannot be good for others if you, yourself are not good.

Resources

Domestic Violence 800-799-7233 or https://www.thehotline.org

Sanvello | On-demand help for stress, anxiety, and depression

HeyPeers – Where Peers and Support Groups Connect

https://www.fcc.gov/988-Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Categories
Topic Words of Wisdom

Blogging Insights, Reaching Out Through Words

Speak Your Piece

TODAY’S QUOTE

” What I’m really concerned about is reaching one person.”

— Jorge Luis Borges

Written in response to Tanya’s prompt

This quote invokes a few thoughts. Blogging, for me, affords a way of reaching the person(s) who may want to read my message. I realize that some topics may not apply to everyone but it’s okay. Knowing that at least one person read my post makes it worth the time. If I can make someone laugh or smile, then great!

Also, I like to pose thought-provoking and fun questions to get input about what others think about a specific topic. It is always interesting to hear what other’s opinions are about the same topic. Hearing feedback from others is important. My hope is that people start thinking about the possibilities for themselves and not give up. If I can give someone that nudge to try something that they have been thinking about, then I have succeeded.

Additionally, I find blogging entertaining and fun. If I can make just one person smile or if I change the outlook of someone’s day, then that is gratifying. When my posts have a positive effect on the reader, it makes me smile as well. Even if the reader doesn’t relate to what I’m writing about, it might spark up new and interesting conversations.

Image by Memed_Nurrohmad from Pixabay

Categories
Self Awareness Topic

Chasing Away the Chaos

Chasing away the chaos
Image by Michael Schwarzenberger from Pixabay

Chasing away the chaos. Ever wonder when you turn on the TV if there will be good news? The war in Ukraine is still ongoing. Gun violence is still rampant. Gas prices are on the rise, once again. Food prices are steadily increasing. Housing costs are through the roof. Is there any relief in sight?

The chaos that goes on today poses a question about what to do to find some semblance of calm? One way to chase away the chaos is to stop watching the news. I can’t remember the last time I saw something good on the news. While it is imperative to stay informed about what’s going on, it is also sad and depressing.

Changing the world is no easy task but we can start with changing the way we see things. Look at things in a positive light and focus on that. It is very easy to fall into the negative zone and the gloom and doom takes over. Think of someone who always has something to complain about. Something is always a problem, or they are always, “in their feelings”.

Things may not be sweet all the time but there is always something positive in every situation. In some cases, people choose to focus on the negative aspect. Why is that?

Below is a previous article about inner peace. Maybe it will help with chasing away the chaos in your world. I hope it sheds some light and helps to turn things around for those going through a dark situation.

Categories
Topic

Independent by Choice or Force

Independent by Choice or Force
Photo by Nicolas Thomas on Unsplash

Independent by choice or force, which are you? Someone who is independent does not rely or count on outside things. An independent person may also be considered self-sufficient. Being independent comes with both positive and negative judgements. Let us look at both sides of the coin.

Independent by choice

I got this
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

A person who is independent by choice may be seen as egotistical, head-strong, unyielding or even arrogant. People who choose to be independent are those who feel they have something to prove. They have to show others that they can do for themselves without assistance from anyone else. They have it in their mind that if someone helps them, they are weak. Maybe people will see them as incompetent. On the other hand, they may feel like they owe someone who lends a helping hand. Having access to resources but not using them is another way to exhibit being independent by choice. If you have a support system but choose to do everything yourself and not accept help, then this would be a choosey independent.

Independent by force

Mom working at home with the kids
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto: on Pexels

Being independent by force is more of a survivalist style of living. If you are independent by force it means that you do not have a support system and have to mostly rely on yourself. There are no close friends or relatives in easy reach that you can call on. In this case, you only have you. It takes a lot to deal with and handle everything that is necessary for everyday life. Especially, if you have medical and/or physical limitations, or are economically strapped for cash.

In some of these cases, people will just give up because they are tired. Mentally and physically exhausted. Even when local resources are available, you may not be able to get to the place to receive services. For example, someone without a car does not have a ride to sign up for services. Some individuals may not have fare to ride public transportation, even if this is available in their area. It is difficult to be in this situation, but some people manage just fine. They have it in their mind that they have to get it done and find a way.

Independence in relationships

Man offering helping hand
Photo by Robin Kutesa on Pexels

In relationships, this is a topic that rears its ugly head. Some of our sistas are out here being strong and independent. That’s cool, that is great, but… don’t overdue it and make your man feel that he cannot do for you. I know it can be hard at times to let the wall down and let someone get close to you. This mindset of having the wall up and being independent comes from being a product of your environment, in some cases.

Meaning, we have single mothers taking care of the kids alone. The fathers are not around for whatever reason. Sista’s in relationships with men who are not holding up their end of the relationship. Being a bum and letting the woman carry them. This behavior is enabling and can only have a negative effect on the relationship in the long run.

Holding your own is a wonderful thing and gives you purpose and a feeling that you can do for yourself. Beware, shutting your partner out will cause a divide. Just know that your man wants to feel like a man and be there for you too. Let him in. Let him feel important in the relationship, like he can be there for you, the same way you are for him.

Independent by Choice or Force

Sometimes we can’t help our circumstances. We can only do our best to make sure that we maintain our livelihood. Just remember, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Especially, if you are in a position to seek assistance from those close to you. We all can use a helping hand at one time or another in life.

On the other hand, there are individuals who do not care to do anything for themselves. They just wait around and if something happens it happens but if not, then oh well. This type of mindset does not make for being a productive person. Life is so short. We have to try our best to make things happen.

Let us be a participant in life and not a spectator.

Categories
Info Topic

Radio Interview ft. O’Nika

Image by Luis David Garcia Valdez from Pixabay
Da Hip Hop Barbershop Presents ft. O’Nika McGill July 10, 2022
For anyone who missed the show, Da Hip Hop Barbershop Presents on iHeart Radio- WDRB Media- The Voice of the Community. You can check it out here. Thank you all for listening!


The host, Ock the Barber will be interviewing me to promote my blog, Inspire By O’Nika.  Topic discussion will include my posts on Hip Hop Music Culture of the 80s and 90s, Gun Violence- We Can Do Without It, Self Esteem and Why It’s Important and a host of other things.

A little about the show, Da Hip Hop Barbershop Presents.
The host is Ock the Barber and he is also the owner of a mobile barber shop.  As the name of the show indicates, the show is related to Hip Hop.  You will hear Ock along with Louis Hicks, Jr. tackle some subjects like stress, ghostwriting and a tribute to DJs. Even if you do not listen to Hip Hop, you will hear about other things happening in the community.  The show will not disappoint. If you want to hear some grown up, clean discussions and music which also includes other things going on take a listen to this radio station.

Da Hip Hop Barbershop Presents airs on Sundays at 12:00 am
on iHeart Radio-WDRB Media- The Voice of the Community. 

I want to give a big thank you to Ock the Barber and Louis Hicks, Jr for making this opportunity possible! 

Categories
Poetry Words of Wisdom

Silence The Noise

Silence The Noise

Image by Jean-Marc Baum from Pixabay

Silence the noise means to trim the fat

Trimming the fat is the extra, this, this and that

The extra is the desire to vent

Venting feels like time well spent

But it requires bending someone’s ear

Usually, this is the person who is most near

Whether they want to hear you or not

Doesn’t matter to you, you are just hot

Hot, sick and tired and mad

Just sitting back wishing you had

Had only spoken your mind

Now you wonder, how you got yourself in this bind

The bind of not knowing what to do

The noise, the noise it’s too much ado

The noise that only you can hear

Playing over and over and is causing you to fear

Fear the thing called negative self-talk

Stop playing this negative self-talk and walk the walk

Walk the walk of the powerful person you are

It’s only you who can set the bar

How low or how high is up to you

Silence the noise, silence the noise

Remember; it’s up to you


O’Nika McGill

Categories
Words of Wisdom

Believe In Yourself

Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash
Categories
Diversity Topic

Light or Dark Skin. What’s In a Complexion?

Image by billywatsrong from Pixabay

Black people come in a myriad of different skin tones. Due to this, some are discriminated against because they are either too light or too dark to be Black. This discrimination happens within our own community, as well as, by people outside of the Black race. That’s the sad part about it.

Light Skin

Light Skinned Complexion
Photo by Nicole Berro on Pexels

If you are Black and are of a lighter complexion, people think that you are conceited. Some people say that you think you are, “all-that” and that you think you are better than other Black people who have a darker skin tone. While some light skinned people do act that way and fit the description, it is not because of the color of their skin. I attribute those characteristics to the individual person and not their complexion. Just note, that there are darker skinned Black people who possess the same traits. They think they are better than other Black people and there are some who are conceited too.

A perception exists that lighter skinned people are smarter, have more privileges and are more successful than darker skinned people. Being of a lighter complexion leads some people to say that you are not, “black enough”. Just based on your skin tone. Also, there is this kind of acceptance that some people seek just to prove their, “blackness”. This backward thinking is a part of what’s wrong with the world today. It goes back so many years and you would think in the year 2022, we would have progressed.

A person’s success in life depends on the efforts of that individual and not some unfounded belief that it is because they are light skinned. The world is so focused on outward appearance. Nowadays, people don’t take the time to see what others are truly made of and who they are beyond their skin tone.

We can’t help how we were made, and we were made the way we are for a reason. It is no excuse to call people names and insult them because they are not the same complexion as you. Light skinned people have been called derogatory names like red bone, high yellow, light skin, and pale face, just to name a few.

Dark Skin

Dark Skinned Complexion
Photo by Meghan Holmes on Unsplash

Being a Black person and having a dark skin tone comes with some negative preconceptions too. People think that if you are dark skinned that you are unintelligent, unsuccessful and not attractive. Again, this is so superficial and another stereotype that needs to be broken. Some people with a dark skinned complexion feel the need to compete with light skinned people. Meaning, that some women go to the extreme of bleaching their skin. I attribute this to the pressures of society to fit some unrealistic mold.

Darker skinned people are just as smart, beautiful, and successful as people of lighter skin tones. It can be hard for some to truly believe this when everyday someone tries to make them feel otherwise. We have to erase the color lines and lift each other up. It is so unfair to judge someone by their complexion before getting to know them. People of darker skin tones get labeled as, “too ethnic” and are passed up for certain career opportunities.

Some negative names that dark-skinned women have been called are jigaboo, darkie, black and burnt. Imagine what this does to a person’s psyche. There are many more derogatory names that people of both light and dark skin tones are called but this is just the abbreviated version. I truly believe that you should not navigate your life based on what other’s think of you. Pave your own way and don’t worry about people’s opinion.

Takeaway

Your complexion should not influence how far you go in life. My advice is to believe in yourself and go for what you want in life. It’s okay if you get passed up for an opportunity. That means it wasn’t for you and there is something else out there. Keep going! Do not be discouraged! It’s hard enough out here being judged by the masses. Why are we being judged by our own too? Let’s embrace each other and help each other out.

Categories
Info Self Awareness Topic

Mental Health

Check out Tha Du-Ja Show. This episode is about Mental Health.

Congratulations to Duquan Hicks and Aa-son Jasim for 1 year of their awareness podcast. Keep it up and much success to you both!!

Some of the topics they have covered include social injustice, dating, an interview with DJ Shakim, loose conversation, and the latest episode on Mental Health. Check out their YouTube channel, Tha Du-Ja Show to see other episodes. Enjoy!

Categories
Diversity Topic

International Women’s Day

Image by Elf-Moondance from Pixabay
International Women’s Day Audio

March 8, 2022 is International Women’s Day. This month is also Women’s History Month. Let’s celebrate each other ladies!! What a wonderful way to truly bring light to women all over the world. Oftentimes, we do not get the recognition that we deserve. We are women, mothers, wives, business owners, providers, educators, nurturers and then some.

Sometimes we are overlooked for certain career opportunities. We are paid less than men, but we are just as valuable. We contribute as many ideas, hours and truly bring value to the workplace. Women are often seen as the “weaker” sex. I’m here to tell you that nothing can be further from the truth. We are just as capable as men in the world.

Even though we are nurturers we also hold our own in many, many ways. We wear many hats and are stronger than we look; both mentally and physically. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Don’t sleep on us because we look a certain way. Women have the capability to adapt to situations and rise above adversities in life.

I encourage every woman to let their light shine and don’t be afraid to stand tall and DO YOU!! Don’t dumb it down just so that everyone around you can feel comfortable. No, be YOU in all your glory, beauty and brains!

We have a lot to offer and that is why as women we need to continue to lift each other up. Not just in times of need but in every way that we can. You never know who you can encourage and lift up just by your kind words, smile and advice.

Categories
Words of Wisdom

Quote

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Categories
Self Awareness Topic

Self-esteem and Why It’s Important

So, let’s talk about self-esteem and why it’s important. Self-esteem is how you see yourself. You are worthy and you know how to put a value on the person that you are. Self-esteem is very important because it is going to guide you in life, it drives your decisions. It is very important because with it, no one can try to make you feel small; well, they can try. Ultimately, you know that you are worthy and that is enough. Without it, you might think it is ok for someone to treat you badly.

I don’t want anyone to lose sight of their self-worth because that is something that no one can give you. It is something that you have to search within yourself to bring out. Realize your potential because without self-esteem things can go in a totally opposite direction and we don’t want that! We want to keep it positive! We want to keep ourselves uplifted! Unfortunately, even when you are minding your own business, at some point trouble will find you.  So, it’s best to power up your self-esteem, I’m talking about positive self-esteem.  Once you fully believe it you tell yourself; yes, I’m worthy of respect, love, and I deserve to be treated well. Once you tell yourself these things you will have a brighter outlook and the confidence to move ahead.

It is not enough to just think these things you need to speak it out loud. I mean to affirm these things when you’re alone or in trusted company. First, you have to think it, believe it and know it. Secondly, say it out loud. Vocalizing it gives you power. Lifting yourself up and speaking positive things about yourself is very helpful. Highlight some physical attributes. Say, I’m beautiful, I have a beautiful smile, I have beautiful eyes, I have nice legs, I have a beautiful personality or I’m a good friend. Affirm the things that you know you possess, whether it is a characteristic or something physical.

Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

Reasons Why Self-esteem Is Important

Self-esteem gives you empowerment. It gives you confidence. You will be invincible in the way that if someone makes a certain comment about you, it’s not going to ruin your day. Certain comments are not going to bring you down and turn your bright outlook into something negative There are people who will try to insult others, just so that they can feel better about themselves.

Remember that someone else’s opinion of you doesn’t validate who you are.  Everyone has their own opinion and that’s OK. We are not going to be liked by everyone we encounter, it’s perfectly fine. The reason it is fine is because the people who belong in our lives are the ones who will stick around. They are going to be in our lives for more than a season.

Scenarios

  • If someone approaches you with an off the wall comment. It’s best to walk away or just kill them with kindness. Kill them with kindness. Even though your first instinct may be to punch them in the face. Come back with something nice about them. That’s all you have to do. Because they are not going to expect that. They will not know how to react. This will throw them off. You don’t even have to stick around to see their reaction just walk away. Another tactic is to ignore them, tune them out. OK, that is a skill that I have mastered myself.
  • There are bullies out there, both children and adults. The ones who never have a nice word to say about anyone. More times than not its because they feel inadequate about themselves. Don’t let them reign their negativity on you and ruin your day. Self-esteem prepares you and you exude confidence with your body language. Stand tall and hold your head up.
  • If you walk around with slumped posture and looking down, this is no good. People can pick up on that energy and then you become a target. You may be perceived as weak. Because you are showing that you are in a down mood people will prey on you. Even if you are in a down mood, do not let this show! It is especially necessary on these days that you may not feel so sure of yourself, that you show up and show out! Let the world know that you are ready and unstoppable. Walk with purpose!
  • With self-esteem you will not question when someone is nice to you. Everyone doesn’t have a hidden agenda. Everyone is not out to get you. Without self-esteem you question certain things. You think to yourself; why are they being nice to me? And I say, well, why not you? Of course, you deserve to be treated nicely, you deserve to receive love, you deserve respect. On the other hand, we have instincts or intuition so don’t let your guard down with everyone. We all know better than this. What I am saying is that when certain things happen to you that are good, embrace it, receive it. Don’t block your blessings!
  • The same exact thing can happen to me and my friend but it may take me two weeks to get out of it, it may take her three days. It’s different for everyone so we can’t measure our own healing or grieving process against others. What I’m saying is we have to move on, we have to get out of that at some point. We cannot stay in that state of feeling like we’re not deserving of certain things because it’s just simply not true.
  • Self-esteem helps us deal with people and/or relationships. You may have a toxic personality in your life and especially if it is someone who’s close to you, those may be the hardest ones to disengage from. Sometimes, you have to cut people off just to let them know that they are not going to speak to you any kind of way, they cannot treat you any kind of way. They may have been around for a while but you just have to do it. It is not going to be easy but it is necessary. If for nothing else, your own sanity, your own self-esteem and respect.

Walk In Your Power

Just know that self-esteem matters. Tell yourself that you are a good person, you deserve respect, you deserve kindness. If someone has drilled it in your head that you are anything less than magnificent, don’t believe it. Be brave enough to showcase that. It’s one thing if this starts in your childhood because when you are a child everything soaks in like a sponge. Children are impressionable. As you grow to be an adult you know the difference. The minute you assert yourself people will look at you like; who is this, is this really you, did you just say, that, did you just do that. It only takes one time to make a believer out of them. Don’t be afraid!  

The pandemic has changed our lives in so many ways. People are going through so much. Some people have lost their jobs, they are being displaced from their homes, schools are closed, etc. Therefore, parents can’t go back to work because they don’t have childcare. There is a lot of domestic violence happening as well because families are stuck together every day. with mounting pressures. Food is expensive, housing is expensive and it’s not the easiest time to navigate, it’s not as easy to bounce back right now. This is a time of low morale for some. It is important that we walk in our power. Go and be around a person or people who are always upbeat. They always have a kind word; call that person up, text that person. 

Lastly, please do not mistake self-esteem for arrogance, egotism and conceit. Having a high regard for yourself is not the same as having an inflated sense of self.

So, do you see why having self-esteem is important?

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