Inside the shell of the human is complex. Humans are made up of more than just a shell. More than what you see on the outside. Beneath the skin, lies character, emotions, and the essence of a person. What we see is not always representative of what is inside. Some people are good at camouflaging their feelings. You would never know that something horrific was going on.
If something seems off about someone you know, stop for a minute to ask. Not to say, do an interogation but stop to check on that person. You can’t tell from the outside what people are going through. This time of year brings a lot of emotions and triggers for people. It is not always the happiest of times for everyone.
How to be there for someone
If you see someone going through a hard time, you want to help. The question is, “how do you help?”. It can be tricky when you worry about how the person may respond to your concern. Some people may take it as you being intrusive in their life, some may be offended that you said something, some may be relieved that their feelings are being seen by someone else.
When in doubt about how to help someone who is depressed, grieving, sad or just not themselves, here are some suggestions:
Listen, just let them talk and you listen. Sometimes they just want to be heard. Be that ear and/or shoulder to cry on.
Be there, let them know that you are there mentally and physically. It is therapeutic for some just to be in the presence of someone who cares. It brings comfort for them to not be alone.
Offer to help with everyday chores. If they need help with housework, or a meal or two. Maybe they have errands that they need help with. Make sure to keep your word with this and don’t offer anything you are not willing to actually do.
Don’t judge; it might seem like something small to you but it obviously feels different for them.
Offer resources like any local places, online sites, or phone numbers where they can connect with someone.
Unless you are a licensed professional, it is hard to tell what a person needs in order to feel better. It is difficult to see a friend or loved one going through something and not know what to do. Just use your best judgement and try your best to help.
Inside the shell of the human holds many things. This time of year can be extremely difficult for many people. Just be mindful of this and keep that in the forefront of your mind. Mental health is not something a lot of people want to discuss, but it is very important. Of course, take care of yourself first. Otherwise, you cannot be good for others if you, yourself are not good.
This quote invokes a few thoughts. Blogging, for me, affords a way of reaching the person(s) who may want to read my message. I realize that some topics may not apply to everyone but it’s okay. Knowing that at least one person read my post makes it worth the time. If I can make someone laugh or smile, then great!
Also, I like to pose thought-provoking and fun questions to get input about what others think about a specific topic. It is always interesting to hear what other’s opinions are about the same topic. Hearing feedback from others is important. My hope is that people start thinking about the possibilities for themselves and not give up. If I can give someone that nudge to try something that they have been thinking about, then I have succeeded.
Additionally, I find blogging entertaining and fun. If I can make just one person smile or if I change the outlook of someone’s day, then that is gratifying. When my posts have a positive effect on the reader, it makes me smile as well. Even if the reader doesn’t relate to what I’m writing about, it might spark up new and interesting conversations.
Shakira was getting ready for her special date. She had all her “accessories” lined up and ready to go. The wig that she just bought, the fake eyelashes and press on nails were all on the dresser in her bedroom.
Suddenly, as she is sitting there at the vanity, getting pretty she sees her teenage son in the mirror. He had just walked in without knocking.
He got scared at the sight of this “stranger” in his Mom’s room. There Shakira was without her wig, nails and lashes on. No make-up either. He ran out of the room and came back with a baseball bat. “Who are you and what are you doing here?!” he demanded. “Where is my Mom?”
Shakira stood up in her bra and butt pads, turned around to face him then he realized who she was.
She snapped at him, I done told you about coming in my room without knocking first boy! You don’t listen. Now you got me all riled up. I’m gonna be late getting ready for my date.
Totally embarrassed by walking in and seeing his mom that way, he just walked out and went back to his room. That’s a sight he wants to forget; sooner rather than later.
Lesson learned, never enter a room without knocking. You never know what you will find on the other side of that door.
The first Friday in December is recognized as Farmer’s Day in Ghana. This day is to recognize the farming and fishing industries. Agriculture is an important part of this region of Africa. It is a week-long occasion marked by festivals and networking events. Not only is agriculture important in Ghana but also in other parts of the world. Bushfires in the early 80s led to food shortages. The destruction of crops is what prompted the government to get involved. Let us honor farmers and fishermen that bring us nutritious food. Agriculture provides a strong foundation for the well-being of everyone. Also, it has a great impact on the economy.
Happy Birthday Jay Z! He is an American Rapper married to recording artist Beyonce Knowles. His music career started with Reasonable Doubt in 1996. He is an example and an inspiration for anyone who aspires to change their life around. He started from humble beginnings in Brooklyn, NY and look at him now! ” What more can I say?”, from The Black Album.
Denzel Washington (Dec 28)
Happy Birthday Denzel Washington! Who doesn’t know Denzel? He is a talented actor with a long and successful career in movies and TV. He has such a presence about him in his roles on the screen. It doesn’t hurt that he is easy on the eyes. He is the first African American actor to win two Academy Awards.
“Goals on the road to achievement cannot be achieved without discipline and consistency.” – Denzel Washington
The jury is still out on this one. I found that National Re-gifting day occurs on the third Thursday in December, which would be the 15th. Also, I have found some sources say it falls on the Thursday right before Christmas, which would be the 22nd. There is an actual day set aside for this, who knew? I learn something new all the time. Anyway, I asked the question about a month ago; What is your take on re-gifting? Not a lot of people expressed their opinion on the subject. I suspect, it may be out of fear of being judged by others. National Re-gifting day is a chance to recycle or re-use some items that may not otherwise get to be enjoyed by someone.
December 21 is National Coquito Day. Coquito is a Puerto Rican holiday drink. You will not find two coquito recipes that are alike. It is the island’s version of eggnog. Rum, cream of coconut and condensed milk are the main ingredients. This drink is guaranteed to get you in the holiday spirit. Please enjoy in small quantities, as this is a potent holiday concoction. Small sips only, don’t get a big mug or glass and think you are going to get up and walk afterwards ;-)Not only can you enjoy this with family and friends but also Coquito can be given as a gift.
National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month
Don’t Drink, Drug and Drive
December is National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention month. There are an increased number of impaired drivers on the road around the holiday season, Christmas, New Year’s Eve. The spike in accidents and deaths attributes to people thinking they are ok to drive after getting together for parties and celebrating with libations. Although, there is nothing wrong with enjoying alcoholic beverages, do it in a responsible way. If you are out and know you have had one too many, take a taxi, Uber or have someone else drive you. If you are in walking distance, walk home. Have a designated driver. Getting behind the wheel after drinking and drugging has proven to be fatal, time and time again. Give everyone the chance to live life and have fun by not driving while impaired.
The day Jesus Christ was born, also known as Christmas. Christmas is celebrated in many ways. For those who do observe this day, it holds a special significance. Some people go to church, some families gather around the Christmas tree and exchange gifts. Christmas dinner is also a tradition on this day. The country has strayed a little from the religious aspect of December 25th and its meaning. This day has become very commercialized. Different countries have their own way of celebrating this holiday. One thing that is notable is all the decorations, inside homes and outside. Check out a local Christmas light display in your area. This is a very uplifting time of year, with the songs, lights, decorations, and gifts.
Kwanzaa (Dec 26-Jan 1)
Kwanzaa Image by RODNAE Productions on Pexels
Kwanzaa is an African American celebration. However, you don’t have to be African American to take part in the festivities. Children are very much a part of this celebration. Even though gifts are given during Kwanzaa it is primarily based on the seven principles. Purpose, creativity, economics, unity, faith, self-determination and responsibility. Each day a candle is lit and families talk about one of the seven principles. Every principle has a corresponding symbolic gift which consist of ears of corn, a mat made of straw, a communal cup which stands for unity, fruits and veggies. Some people don traditional African clothing during Kwanzaa. On New Year’s Eve, Dec 31 a communal feast called karamu is held.
It’s hot in here. I’m sweating, who turned up the heat?! You wake up and your PJs are wet. Having trouble sleeping straight through the night? The number on the scale is going up. Increased irritability. Lowered sexual drive. Some of these things point to one cause; can you say menopause.
Menopause is a fact of life for women. Whether it is surgically induced or natural, it will catch up to you at some point in life. You can’t control when it is going to happen but just know that it is inevitable. The good news is that there are some things you can do to reduce symptoms. The duration of menopause is different for everyone. Also, not every woman has the same symptoms.
Menopause comes with more than just the physical manifestations, it comes with emotional problems too. A sense of aging for one. Most women do not want to deal with getting older. Some women worry about reduced libido and the ability to enjoy sex at this stage of life.
I urge anyone out there having difficulty with these symptoms to talk to your healthcare provider. Please do not suffer and think that you are alone. There are options available but no one-size-fits-all approach. If you know someone who has gone through what you are experiencing, talk to them.
It’s Hot in Here
Hormone replacement therapy is one option to help with the changes the body goes through during menopause. If this is not right for you, don’t fret. There are over the counter remedies you can try at home. With so many products out there, choose wisely. Remember, talk to your healthcare provider to find the right course of action for your unique situation.
Dietary supplements can help with some of the most common symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats. Personal lubricants can help with vaginal dryness. If you experience depression, please seek support. It helps to verbalize your feelings and helps in finding a solution.
Menopause does not have to feel like the end of your vibrant life. Some women have low to moderate symptoms while it affects others more severely. You might find that your sex life is more fulfilled because the worry of pregnancy is gone. You might find that you are sexually freer.
In closing, menopause is a natural progression of a woman’s life. Take it in stride. If you have already gone through this, share with the ones who may be struggling with the effects. You can have a normal life after menopause with a few adjustments.
Image credit: Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post are not medical advice. Always consult with a licensed medical professional for your healthcare needs.
What is your favorite Christmas movie? The holiday season is here. During this time of year, there are a ton of holiday movies playing. You can watch an animated version, a Christmas comedy, a romance or the regular kind. A few titles come to mind when I think about some of my favorites.
Home Alone– Kevin gets into all kinds of things when he gets left behind by the family. He comes up with some clever plots to stop would-be burglars who think the house is empty.
This Christmas– This Christmas is a movie about more than the holidays. It is about family, love, and life. I’m sure most of us can relate to at least one character in this movie. There is some good music in this one too.
A Charlie Brown Christmas– This one is a classic, if you like the Peanuts gang! It always puts me in a good mood when I watch it.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas– Jim Carrey (the Grinch) is up to no good in this one.
The Best Man Holiday– Even though this one was a little sad, there is some laughter too.
Black Nativity– Some life lessons and good singing in this one to lift your spirits.
Drop a note and share with us, what is your favorite Christmas movie? Don’t be shy 🙂
Happy Holidays and Happy shopping! The holiday shopping season is well underway. If you hit a snag and can’t think of a gift to buy for someone, look no further. These black owned businesses have interesting items for women and men. You can find clothing, home items, jewelry, and sleep wear. Check them out and you might find that perfect one-of-a-kind gift. These sites have items from basic everyday essentials to custom made apparels. You will find price points from affordable to expensive. Maybe you want to treat yourself to a Christmas gift. Take a look.
Can You Answer This? Why Are You Thankful?What are you giving thanks for? We have all heard the saying, this is the season for giving. But I pose the question, what are you giving thanks for? Some of us are thankful to have our health and some are thankful to have their pockets full of cash. Material things are nice to have too but they cannot give you a hug or a kiss. You can’t confide in a new car or electronic device. You can’t cry on the shoulder of a new pair of shoes or other clothing items. You get where I’m going with this.
Giving is such a great feeling and it benefits both the giver and the receiver. As the human race, we all have different paths to walk in life, so there are different things that affect us. The thing to remember is that we only get one chance to do this. We don’t get a do-over. So, I ask again; what are you giving thanks for? Personally, I am thankful for the people in my life. Both near and far. So, be it a roof over your head, a job/career, a car to get back and forth, children, spouse, family. Nothing is too small to measure.
Superstition- a widely held but unjustified belief in supernatural causation leading to certain consequences of an action or event, or a practice based on such a belief
Are you superstitious? What exactly are superstitions? They are things that people perceive as true but really are not. I have heard some of these over the years and just when I thought I heard them all; another one pops up. Which ones have you heard and/or believe in?
Happy Anniversary! It has been 1 year since the inception of Inspire By O’Nika- Inspire, Motivate, Uplift. What a very rewarding year and I am so happy to share with all of you. Since starting this blog, I have learned a lot. Thank you for all the love, comments, and feedback. Hope you have enjoyed the content. Looking forward to another year.
November is Hip Hop History Month
Click the image to read the article on Hip Hop Music Culture of the 80s and 90s
Let’s review some of the most popular blog posts from this year
Just in case you missed it, below are some of the most read posts published this year. Happy reading, watching and listening!
Can You Answer This? What is Your Take on Re-gifting?
The holiday season is upon us. What do you say about re-gifting? Do you think it is perfectly fine to re-gift something that you have received, then give it to someone else? Do you find it rude? Let’s hear what you think about this. If you are someone who believes in re-gifting, are there rules to this? Some people call it recycling, reusing or not wasting. I have also heard it called re-purposing.
Re-gifting
I always feel like a gift is a gift. It is the thought that counts. If someone took the time and money to pick something out for me, I appreciate it. I don’t know that I can honestly say, I would be okay with someone re-gifting a present I gave to them. Something to think about. Where do you stand on the subject?
November is the month to remember for many reasons. It’s the eleventh month and one more to go to see the new year in 2023!! Wow, where has the time gone? We have Thanksgiving, a time to give thanks and reflect on all our blessings. A time to be with family, friends and loved ones. Veterans day to also give thanks to the ones who fought for the country. Read on for more.
Men Make Dinner Day
Man getting his cook on Image by Sasha Kim on pexels
November 3– This day is for the men who do not usually cook dinner. It is a chance for the man to make a meal and dive into an area that they may not have before. Let the man make the meal for the family or just for himself. Some men may not have ever considered cooking for many reasons. Some feel that this is strictly for women, some may not have had anyone in their lives to teach them how to cook. This is definitely a skillset that all men should have. Get your burn on!!
Daylight Savings Time Ends
Waking up from that extra hour of sleep Image by Miriam Alonso on pexels
November 6– Daylight savings time is when the clocks are moved ahead one hour. This allows for more daylight hours during the springtime. Hence, the term spring forward. November is when we set the clocks back one hour. There has been debate about this since it negatively affects sleep for a lot of people. During the Fall season, most of the day is dark. Depending on what state you live in, you don’t have to be concerned with this at all. Not all of the United States take part in DST.
November is now declared hip hop history month. Hip Hop has influenced the cultures of art, fashion, and music. Although, hip hop has changed over the decades it is still relevant and has shaped many of us who have grown up listening to hip hop music. It is arguably one of the most influential genres of music. Check out Know Ya Hip Hop – Universal Hip Hop Museum (uhhm.org) and learn more about the artists who made this form of music so popular.
November 8-Election Day is your chance to make your voice heard. This is your chance to exercise your right as a citizen, taxpayer, etc. I hear some people say that voting doesn’t matter and their one vote does not count. Your vote most certainly does matter and it does count! It is too bad that there is voter fraud going on and people trying to dissuade certain groups away from the polls. It is just the world we live in today. Do not be discouraged. Get your vote in. If you do not participate, don’t complain later about the outcome of who gets elected.
Veteran’s Day
November 11-Veteran’s Day is a day of thanks and recognition to all military members who have fought for our country. Some have lost their lives in the fight for many freedoms we enjoy today. Let’s give praise and thanks to those who have selflessly given so much. Also, lets remember the families of military members. It can be very challenging and also rewarding for them as well. They deserve recognition too.
World Kindness Day
November 13– Show the kinder side of yourself. We all have one. Remember to be kind and maybe you want to show random acts of kindness. It does not have to be anything fancy. Consider saying something nice to someone, maybe opening a door for someone, write a nice sticky note with a few words. Keep it simple. It is the thought that counts. Taking time to acknowledge or think of someone else is a good feeling. Being kind is also contagious and it might start a trend and make people smile more and lift up the mood of many. What do you have to lose? While you are being kind, don’t forget to also include yourself. We can be hard on ourselves at times.
Peanut Butter Lovers Month
Peanut butter is versatile. You can eat it any time of the day. It comes in the smooth variety or with peanuts (chunky). You can also buy it with the jelly mixed in already. It also is good for the heart and full of potassium and protein. If you love peanut butter there are many recipes out there to try. Peanut butter can be eaten plain, or in candy, ice cream, cookies, etc.
What do you call the fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth? Arachibutyrophobia. Try saying that fast, five times.
Black Marketers Day
Black marketers in a meeting Image by Christina Morillo on pexels
November 16– National Black Marketers Day gives credit to often overlooked marketers in the black community. The success and efforts of black marketers often goes unnoticed. There are over 60% of black people in the marketing industry. On this day you can show support by shopping with black businesses. Despite the worth of the black consumer, underrepresentation still exists in areas of healthcare and banking. The magazines, Jet and Ebony were published through the Johnson Publishing Company, which is one of the first media businesses by black people.
November 24– The Thanksgiving holiday is a chance to bring families together over a meal. Usually, the main course is a turkey, but some families make ham or a roast. You decide, there is no right or wrong answer. We can also enjoy some good desserts like sweet potato pie, apple pie, ice cream, cobbler and cake. On Thanksgiving there are sports playing on television and classic holiday movies to enjoy. Give thanks on this day and enjoy a meal with friends, family and loved ones. Think about your blessings and all the people in your life and things that you are thankful for. Thanksgiving is truly a day of reflection.
Sweet Potato Awareness Month
Sweet potatoes are a healthy, starchy vegetable. What better time to bring awareness to sweet potatoes then the month of November; think Thanksgiving and sweet potato pie and yams. These potatoes can be cooked in many different ways. You can fry, bake, mash or boil them. They are often used as a healthier alternative to regular potatoes. The sweetness of them also means that you don’t need to add any additional sugar to give them flavor. The health benefits include vitamins A and C. They are also good for anyone trying to lose weight. Full of antioxidants and other nutrients, you can see why they are such an appealing food source.
Pomegranate Season
It is pomegranate season, and this fruit is packed with healthy nutrients. They are a tasty fruit but do require some work to eat. Be aware that if you spill any of the juice from a pomegranate, clean it up quickly. The juice from this fruit will stain your countertop, cutting board and clothing. Pomegranates are low in fat and calories but have high fiber content. The edible seeds of this fruit are sweet and juicy. Get some pomegranate in your life.
Looking into the Splendor Image by Mick Haupt on Unsplash
Looking into the splendor
Beyond the door I see light
Openness, growth and happiness
Beyond the door I see life
A place so full of opportunity
But, behind the door is another thing entirely
Behind the door there is darkness
Gloom, sadness and no excitement
Cross the threshold, into the light
Feel the openness as you entertain things outside of your realm of reality
Experience the growth, as you come to your own conclusion
Bask in the happiness, only you can make this happen
Life is all around us in physical form, but some rely more on the digital world
Opportunity abounds, just open your eyes and choose to see
Looking into the splendor
---O'Nika McGill---
Speaking to someone in passing
Saying, hello
They seem to just look over you
Like you aren't there
Asking a question
The silence creeps in
No one replies
Hello, is anyone there?
Being seen and heard
Not much to ask
Doesn't cost anything
No credit card or cash
Perhaps it's lazy lips
No need to part your mouth
In an effort, to be civil or kind
Just keep your head down looking south
Are you that self-centered
Too busy to speak
How does it feel when it happens to you
You are not so unique
Get out of your head
Come back down to earth
Live in the real world
Not in a fictional place instead
Too much of a burden to exchange a greeting?
To smile or wave to someone in passing
Just a simple gesture between people
Try it, it is not so fleeting
--O'Nika McGill--
Chasing away the chaos. Ever wonder when you turn on the TV if there will be good news? The war in Ukraine is still ongoing. Gun violence is still rampant. Gas prices are on the rise, once again. Food prices are steadily increasing. Housing costs are through the roof. Is there any relief in sight?
The chaos that goes on today poses a question about what to do to find some semblance of calm? One way to chase away the chaos is to stop watching the news. I can’t remember the last time I saw something good on the news. While it is imperative to stay informed about what’s going on, it is also sad and depressing.
Changing the world is no easy task but we can start with changing the way we see things. Look at things in a positive light and focus on that. It is very easy to fall into the negative zone and the gloom and doom takes over. Think of someone who always has something to complain about. Something is always a problem, or they are always, “in their feelings”.
Things may not be sweet all the time but there is always something positive in every situation. In some cases, people choose to focus on the negative aspect. Why is that?
Below is a previous article about inner peace. Maybe it will help with chasing away the chaos in your world. I hope it sheds some light and helps to turn things around for those going through a dark situation.
