Excuse me, may I interject
Let me put things into retrospect
I am a human, animate
Between two sculptures, laminate
Laminate, sculptures void of life
Stone-faced, emotionless
Let me inject some feelings
Sadness, indifference, or joy will suffice
Sadness has its place of reflection
The level of sadness depends on the inflection
Inflection in the voice of the owner
The owner who claims it
Indifference can go either way
You either care or you don't
Feelings have a way to sway
Even the most stone-faced and emotionless
Joy is what turns it all around
What makes a smile out of a frown
Let your joy astound
Inject joy and peace will abound
--O'Nika McGill--
Most of the time, activities are more fun when we do them with someone else. It can take an outing from a 4-5 experience up to a 7-8 on the scale of enjoyable. On the other hand, there are some things better left to be done alone. Like getting a haircut, an interview or going to the dentist. Let’s look at what activities you like to do alone.
Shopping, for example, is something that we like to do. When I say we, I mean women. We like to have someone with us to give their honest opinion on how an outfit looks, or someone to help us pick something out for that special occasion. Shopping can be an all day excursion. When it’s time for a break, stop for lunch and then continue.
For those who take a more practical or organized approach to shopping, they want to be alone. They know what stores they are going to and what they need. It makes for an easy in and out shopping experience. People who do this are not interested in browsing the store or lollygagging. Plus, they don’t want to waste time going store to store spending more money.
Some people make this a family affair. Which means that everyone in the house is going. Whether you want to go or not doesn’t matter, so don’t make a fuss. This can also be seen as a solo outing to go to your house of worship, to receive your blessings and to be a blessing to others. You may be going to ask for forgiveness for something personal and would like to be there alone with your thoughts. Also, some prefer to pray by themselves and enjoy the service in solitude.
For those people who still have theaters open, movies usually are a group or couple outing. You can laugh out loud or whisper to your friends or date about the movie. Afterwards, you can have a discussion about how you liked the film. Some people may not want to be talked to while the movie is playing. They zone out and want to focus on what the movie is about. They only want to enjoy their snack and take in the cinematic experience. Plus, you know those who can’t stop talking throughout and you miss key points of the movie.
Going to get a drink or two is fun when you go with someone. Also, this is when a designated driver is needed. For those who like to enjoy spirits, beer, wine it’s nice to have a friend or significant other with you to talk and laugh with. Also, to watch your back if you have one too many. You know who you are
Share stories, people watch, drink, dance and listen to music at the club. Whatever you do while at the bar or club. When you want to get on the dance floor it takes the edge off to dance with your friends and not alone.
We do have those who go clubbing or to a bar to meet people. In this case, I would say they don’t want any extra weight hanging around. They would prefer to go alone and do what they do.
Going out to eat at a restaurant is usually spent together with someone. The next time you go to a restaurant look around. You will notice that most tables have at least two or more people per table. Singles also go out to eat but you don’t see this as often as groups. It can feel awkward or lonely when you are at a restaurant full of people, and you are there solo. To each their own.
Exercising can be either a group or solo activity. Some people prefer to buddy up with someone else to help keep them accountable. It also makes keeping in shape more fun when there is someone else to do the work with you. Other people prefer to work-out alone. They have no problem keeping up with their physical activity. What is your exercise style?
What activities do you like to do alone?
Tell us about the activities you prefer to do alone. There is nothing wrong with going solo and just doing your thing, alone. Sometimes we do our best work while being alone.
What does gentrification mean? It is the process whereby the character of a poor urban area is changed by wealthier people moving in, improving housing, and attracting new businesses, typically displacing current inhabitants in the process.
Say What?!
Gentrification is a fancy word that means, forcing people out of their homes in one area and replacing that housing with more expensive ones Usually, the people being forced out cannot afford to live in the newly built homes. They are faced with difficult decisions of where to live. Some of them have no family nearby that they can rely on for support. Sadly, the families may have to move into a local hotel or shelter. Homelessness is the result for some of the people being forced out.
Gentrification is not an ugly word for the investors and builders who are buying these properties. They have nothing to lose, right? They have the financial resources to make their dream a reality. Most don’t think about or care what happens to the people who have been displaced. It’s about the mighty dollar.
While it is true that some areas need a face-lift or need to be revitalized. It seems like there is a better way to make the transition a little easier for those having to move. In many cases, tenants are not given a lot of time to get themselves situated before being asked to leave.
Provide the residents with resources for alternate living options and/or programs to help with affordable housing. Not having internet or even a phone to make calls or search online for another place to live makes it hard for some residents.
Help in a monetary way. Give each household some kind of voucher to use toward a deposit on another home.
To help offset the cost of moving, offer a week or so, at a minimal fee or no charge at a local hotel.
Offer storage space at a discounted price, until residents have a chance to secure new housing.
According to a 2019 National Community Reinvestment Coalition report, the top 5 cities affected between the years 2000-2013 were Washington, D.C., San Diego, California, NYC, New York, Albuquerque, New Mexico and Atlanta, Georgia. The percentages of places being gentrified ranged from 22-40%
As you can see this is happening all over the U.S. East coast, West coast and neighborhoods in between. Puerto Rico, a U.S. territory, is also seeing this trend. With the benefit of tax breaks for investors, it makes for a very easy and appealing business decision.
Did you say, gentrification? What do you make of this situation?
January O Enero, New Beginning. Happy New Year! It’s 2023 and time for a new beginning. What do you resolve for the new year? This is the chance for new goals, new wishes and a time to reflect. Reflect on the year gone by and how you want to spend this next year. Pledge to yourself to add a new skill and/or hobby, pledge to make your health a priority. Pledge to be a little nicer to others as you are to yourself. Think about what you can change to make this year better than the last.
Women Rock! Day
January 3
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels
Women Rock! Day brings to mind, Tina Turner, Pat Benatar, and Aretha Franklin. Women have blazed a trail into the male dominated industry of Rock N’ Roll. Aretha set the stage for being the first woman to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Other women to join the ranks of the Queen of Soul, Aretha, include Stevie Nicks, Janis Joplin, Tina Turner, Gladys Knight, Etta James, Debbie Harry, Madonna and a host of others. A notable performer is Pat Benatar who came on the scene in the late 70s with her debut album, “In the Heat of the Night”. Tina Turner, Queen of Rock N’ Roll, has been in the music industry for about 40-50 years. These women, among others came in and made their stamp on music for women performers today.
Braille is a form of writing for the visually impaired or blind. This was created by Louis Braille who himself became blind, at 10 years of age, due to a self-inflicted accident. The Braille system uses touch and a six-dot formation. The creation of braille is invaluable to those who cannot see. It has allowed the visually impaired the ability to communicate and read like those who still have sight. Since 2018 the United Nations General Assembly declared this a national holiday. On World Braille Day help raise awareness. Learn Braille so that you can help people who may not know how to read it. Braille helps to make people who have lost their sight feel inclusive. Even though individuals may not be able to see, they have other senses to use in order to go about their daily lives. January is also Braille Literacy Month.
Did you know? You can buy toys in Braille. Also, Math and Science has a form of Braille called the Nemeth Code.
Epiphany, Three Kings Day, Día de Los Reyes is January 6th. It marks the last day of the extended Christmas holiday in many Latin American countries. On this day, it is said that the 3 wise men gave gifts to Baby Jesus. Of course, good food is involved for this occasion. Some families enjoy a meal outdoors. More like a feast which includes dishes of beans with rice, slow roasted meat, plantains, soups and other traditional Latin cuisine. Also, king cake is a part of this celebration. This is a ring-shaped cake with a hidden doll baked inside. The doll symbolizes Baby Jesus. Should you be the one to get the doll inside it means that you have to bring the next king cake. Also, it signifies that you will have prosperity and luck.
Today we observe the birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr who was born on January 15, 1929. He was a non-violent, civil rights leader.
Why is he celebrated?
He had a hand in desegregation. Gone are the days of separate water fountains, bathrooms and seating on public transportation among Black and White people.
Dr. King fought to eradicate racism. He fought for civil and economic rights of people.
MLK was the youngest person to receive the Nobel Peace Prize.
The voting rights act of 1965 is to his credit. Had he not persisted and held the Southern Christian Leadership Conference in Selma, Alabama, this law might not have been passed.
As you can see, he is responsible for bringing people together and effecting change for the better. And not just Black people, but all people.
Did you know?
Samuel L. Gravely (1922-2004) was the first African American to command a United States Navy Warship. He also joined the Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity., the first fraternity for African Americans. He accomplished a lot of first achievements in the military for African Americans.
National Puzzle Day is a way to exercise your brain. Whether you like Jigsaw puzzles, crosswords or Jenga it does not matter, they all provide benefits for the brain. Doing puzzles are stress relievers and fun. You can do a jigsaw puzzle by yourself or with friends and family. You can start off with a small jigsaw and work your way up to 500-1000 pieces. Enjoy yourself, these are not just for kids but there are plenty of adult puzzles out there.
Stalking– the act or crime of willfully and repeatedly following or harassing another person in circumstances that would cause a reasonable person to fear injury or death especially because of express or implied threats.
In January we bring attention to this important topic. Stalking is a crime in all 50 states and Washington D.C. This is not limited to physical stalking but cyberstalking as well. Women are stalked almost 3 times more than men. In 2011, former President Barack Obama made the first proclamation for stalking awareness. If you feel that you are being stalked and are in immediate danger, call 911. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. Let your family/friends know if you feel like you are being followed, receiving threats, getting unwanted attention. Do not engage with a stalker. If you can, gather evidence. We all have the right to feel safe at work, home or anywhere we go. Spread awareness and be safe.
Open me, open me
What is inside
The suspense is killing me
Taking me on a wild ride
A new pair of shoes
A new dress
My mind is wandering
Let me take a guess
Open me, open me
But please don't shake
The sound may give it away
What has taken a long time to make
A photo album
put together nicely
Fond memories of yesteryear
Nothing too pricey
Open me, open me
If you get lonely or sad
Just look at the pictures
You will be glad you had
Memories of yesteryear
what a joy to see
lost in the back of my mind
What a delight to finally find
Is it better to be wealthy with little to no true friends or humble/poor with many friends?
Wealth affords a lot of things. Alternatively, having friends are an advantage too. You can consider yourself rich if you have both wealth and a network of friends. True friends. Sometimes when people are financially wealthy, they have people around them but not necessarily all of them can be called a friend. You know, there are groupies, moochers, free loaders, etc. It can be hard to tell if those people are truly your friend or just hanging around because of what you have. And more importantly, what they can get from you. Call it what it is, I’m sure you have all seen this scenario before.
Having friends provides an emotional support system
A listening ear is just a phone call away in those times when you just need to talk
Feeling of community
Social life is always possible
Being humble/poor with many friends gives you the feeling that the people in your life are there for you. They are not concerned with what you have or do not have. You don’t have to wonder if they are around for some other reason. Genuine friends are hard to come by and when you don’t have much in the way of material things, but you have friends, that is nothing to take lightly.
Having money is good but it comes with some downsides too. Like not knowing who has an agenda or ulterior motive. You can buy many things with money, but you can’t buy friends or love. Money does not buy happiness.
On the other hand, having friends does provide happiness. You have people around you to celebrate you and in return; you them. Maybe being humble/poor causes stress in your life. That friend(s) sometimes makes it all better when they still visit you. They don’t judge you for your humble wardrobe or humble home.
When you think of home does it make you smile? Home is a safe haven away from everything else. It is the place where you can be yourself. It’s where you go to rest and recharge after a hard day at work. Think of it as your sanctuary.
What I’m saying is that a home is more than just bricks and wood on a cement slab. It’s a place to relax while watching a good movie. Also, one of the best places to enjoy a meal with family. A peaceful place to gather your thoughts and meditate, if you want to.
If home does not resonate in a positive way, think of ways to change that and make it a happy place for you. It’s the least you can do for your wellbeing. I know it is not always possible to have a quiet moment if you have small children. Just find a space and/or corner of the house to call your own. Make it your go-to place in those moments of stress. Call it whatever you want in order to recharge your mind.
Where's my sugar?
Are you going to kiss me or what?
These circles are starting to make me dizzy
Besides, I don't have all day, she says.
He replies, Alright, don't get in a tizzy
She adds, we don't have to touch
Just put your lips on mine
Pucker up and lay it on me
Really, is that too much?
Shyly, he says, It's just that...I'm in a daze
The circles put me in a trance
Your eyes are so beautiful
I'm locked in a gaze
Impatiently, she replies, the circle of life is not infinite
Maybe we'll meet again but I have to go now
When we next see, I'll lay a kiss on you so good
You can't help but to take a bow
Written in response to Sadje's prompt #165, what do you see?
Where's My Sugar was first published on Inspirebyonika.com on December 21, 2022
Inside the shell of the human is complex. Humans are made up of more than just a shell. More than what you see on the outside. Beneath the skin, lies character, emotions, and the essence of a person. What we see is not always representative of what is inside. Some people are good at camouflaging their feelings. You would never know that something horrific was going on.
If something seems off about someone you know, stop for a minute to ask. Not to say, do an interogation but stop to check on that person. You can’t tell from the outside what people are going through. This time of year brings a lot of emotions and triggers for people. It is not always the happiest of times for everyone.
How to be there for someone
If you see someone going through a hard time, you want to help. The question is, “how do you help?”. It can be tricky when you worry about how the person may respond to your concern. Some people may take it as you being intrusive in their life, some may be offended that you said something, some may be relieved that their feelings are being seen by someone else.
When in doubt about how to help someone who is depressed, grieving, sad or just not themselves, here are some suggestions:
Listen, just let them talk and you listen. Sometimes they just want to be heard. Be that ear and/or shoulder to cry on.
Be there, let them know that you are there mentally and physically. It is therapeutic for some just to be in the presence of someone who cares. It brings comfort for them to not be alone.
Offer to help with everyday chores. If they need help with housework, or a meal or two. Maybe they have errands that they need help with. Make sure to keep your word with this and don’t offer anything you are not willing to actually do.
Don’t judge; it might seem like something small to you but it obviously feels different for them.
Offer resources like any local places, online sites, or phone numbers where they can connect with someone.
Unless you are a licensed professional, it is hard to tell what a person needs in order to feel better. It is difficult to see a friend or loved one going through something and not know what to do. Just use your best judgement and try your best to help.
Inside the shell of the human holds many things. This time of year can be extremely difficult for many people. Just be mindful of this and keep that in the forefront of your mind. Mental health is not something a lot of people want to discuss, but it is very important. Of course, take care of yourself first. Otherwise, you cannot be good for others if you, yourself are not good.
This quote invokes a few thoughts. Blogging, for me, affords a way of reaching the person(s) who may want to read my message. I realize that some topics may not apply to everyone but it’s okay. Knowing that at least one person read my post makes it worth the time. If I can make someone laugh or smile, then great!
Also, I like to pose thought-provoking and fun questions to get input about what others think about a specific topic. It is always interesting to hear what other’s opinions are about the same topic. Hearing feedback from others is important. My hope is that people start thinking about the possibilities for themselves and not give up. If I can give someone that nudge to try something that they have been thinking about, then I have succeeded.
Additionally, I find blogging entertaining and fun. If I can make just one person smile or if I change the outlook of someone’s day, then that is gratifying. When my posts have a positive effect on the reader, it makes me smile as well. Even if the reader doesn’t relate to what I’m writing about, it might spark up new and interesting conversations.
Shakira was getting ready for her special date. She had all her “accessories” lined up and ready to go. The wig that she just bought, the fake eyelashes and press on nails were all on the dresser in her bedroom.
Suddenly, as she is sitting there at the vanity, getting pretty she sees her teenage son in the mirror. He had just walked in without knocking.
He got scared at the sight of this “stranger” in his Mom’s room. There Shakira was without her wig, nails and lashes on. No make-up either. He ran out of the room and came back with a baseball bat. “Who are you and what are you doing here?!” he demanded. “Where is my Mom?”
Shakira stood up in her bra and butt pads, turned around to face him then he realized who she was.
She snapped at him, I done told you about coming in my room without knocking first boy! You don’t listen. Now you got me all riled up. I’m gonna be late getting ready for my date.
Totally embarrassed by walking in and seeing his mom that way, he just walked out and went back to his room. That’s a sight he wants to forget; sooner rather than later.
Lesson learned, never enter a room without knocking. You never know what you will find on the other side of that door.
The first Friday in December is recognized as Farmer’s Day in Ghana. This day is to recognize the farming and fishing industries. Agriculture is an important part of this region of Africa. It is a week-long occasion marked by festivals and networking events. Not only is agriculture important in Ghana but also in other parts of the world. Bushfires in the early 80s led to food shortages. The destruction of crops is what prompted the government to get involved. Let us honor farmers and fishermen that bring us nutritious food. Agriculture provides a strong foundation for the well-being of everyone. Also, it has a great impact on the economy.
Happy Birthday Jay Z! He is an American Rapper married to recording artist Beyonce Knowles. His music career started with Reasonable Doubt in 1996. He is an example and an inspiration for anyone who aspires to change their life around. He started from humble beginnings in Brooklyn, NY and look at him now! ” What more can I say?”, from The Black Album.
Denzel Washington (Dec 28)
Happy Birthday Denzel Washington! Who doesn’t know Denzel? He is a talented actor with a long and successful career in movies and TV. He has such a presence about him in his roles on the screen. It doesn’t hurt that he is easy on the eyes. He is the first African American actor to win two Academy Awards.
“Goals on the road to achievement cannot be achieved without discipline and consistency.” – Denzel Washington
The jury is still out on this one. I found that National Re-gifting day occurs on the third Thursday in December, which would be the 15th. Also, I have found some sources say it falls on the Thursday right before Christmas, which would be the 22nd. There is an actual day set aside for this, who knew? I learn something new all the time. Anyway, I asked the question about a month ago; What is your take on re-gifting? Not a lot of people expressed their opinion on the subject. I suspect, it may be out of fear of being judged by others. National Re-gifting day is a chance to recycle or re-use some items that may not otherwise get to be enjoyed by someone.
December 21 is National Coquito Day. Coquito is a Puerto Rican holiday drink. You will not find two coquito recipes that are alike. It is the island’s version of eggnog. Rum, cream of coconut and condensed milk are the main ingredients. This drink is guaranteed to get you in the holiday spirit. Please enjoy in small quantities, as this is a potent holiday concoction. Small sips only, don’t get a big mug or glass and think you are going to get up and walk afterwards ;-)Not only can you enjoy this with family and friends but also Coquito can be given as a gift.
National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month
Don’t Drink, Drug and Drive
December is National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention month. There are an increased number of impaired drivers on the road around the holiday season, Christmas, New Year’s Eve. The spike in accidents and deaths attributes to people thinking they are ok to drive after getting together for parties and celebrating with libations. Although, there is nothing wrong with enjoying alcoholic beverages, do it in a responsible way. If you are out and know you have had one too many, take a taxi, Uber or have someone else drive you. If you are in walking distance, walk home. Have a designated driver. Getting behind the wheel after drinking and drugging has proven to be fatal, time and time again. Give everyone the chance to live life and have fun by not driving while impaired.
The day Jesus Christ was born, also known as Christmas. Christmas is celebrated in many ways. For those who do observe this day, it holds a special significance. Some people go to church, some families gather around the Christmas tree and exchange gifts. Christmas dinner is also a tradition on this day. The country has strayed a little from the religious aspect of December 25th and its meaning. This day has become very commercialized. Different countries have their own way of celebrating this holiday. One thing that is notable is all the decorations, inside homes and outside. Check out a local Christmas light display in your area. This is a very uplifting time of year, with the songs, lights, decorations, and gifts.
Kwanzaa (Dec 26-Jan 1)
Kwanzaa Image by RODNAE Productions on Pexels
Kwanzaa is an African American celebration. However, you don’t have to be African American to take part in the festivities. Children are very much a part of this celebration. Even though gifts are given during Kwanzaa it is primarily based on the seven principles. Purpose, creativity, economics, unity, faith, self-determination and responsibility. Each day a candle is lit and families talk about one of the seven principles. Every principle has a corresponding symbolic gift which consist of ears of corn, a mat made of straw, a communal cup which stands for unity, fruits and veggies. Some people don traditional African clothing during Kwanzaa. On New Year’s Eve, Dec 31 a communal feast called karamu is held.
It’s hot in here. I’m sweating, who turned up the heat?! You wake up and your PJs are wet. Having trouble sleeping straight through the night? The number on the scale is going up. Increased irritability. Lowered sexual drive. Some of these things point to one cause; can you say menopause.
Menopause is a fact of life for women. Whether it is surgically induced or natural, it will catch up to you at some point in life. You can’t control when it is going to happen but just know that it is inevitable. The good news is that there are some things you can do to reduce symptoms. The duration of menopause is different for everyone. Also, not every woman has the same symptoms.
Menopause comes with more than just the physical manifestations, it comes with emotional problems too. A sense of aging for one. Most women do not want to deal with getting older. Some women worry about reduced libido and the ability to enjoy sex at this stage of life.
I urge anyone out there having difficulty with these symptoms to talk to your healthcare provider. Please do not suffer and think that you are alone. There are options available but no one-size-fits-all approach. If you know someone who has gone through what you are experiencing, talk to them.
It’s Hot in Here
Hormone replacement therapy is one option to help with the changes the body goes through during menopause. If this is not right for you, don’t fret. There are over the counter remedies you can try at home. With so many products out there, choose wisely. Remember, talk to your healthcare provider to find the right course of action for your unique situation.
Dietary supplements can help with some of the most common symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats. Personal lubricants can help with vaginal dryness. If you experience depression, please seek support. It helps to verbalize your feelings and helps in finding a solution.
Menopause does not have to feel like the end of your vibrant life. Some women have low to moderate symptoms while it affects others more severely. You might find that your sex life is more fulfilled because the worry of pregnancy is gone. You might find that you are sexually freer.
In closing, menopause is a natural progression of a woman’s life. Take it in stride. If you have already gone through this, share with the ones who may be struggling with the effects. You can have a normal life after menopause with a few adjustments.
Image credit: Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post are not medical advice. Always consult with a licensed medical professional for your healthcare needs.
What is your favorite Christmas movie? The holiday season is here. During this time of year, there are a ton of holiday movies playing. You can watch an animated version, a Christmas comedy, a romance or the regular kind. A few titles come to mind when I think about some of my favorites.
Home Alone– Kevin gets into all kinds of things when he gets left behind by the family. He comes up with some clever plots to stop would-be burglars who think the house is empty.
This Christmas– This Christmas is a movie about more than the holidays. It is about family, love, and life. I’m sure most of us can relate to at least one character in this movie. There is some good music in this one too.
A Charlie Brown Christmas– This one is a classic, if you like the Peanuts gang! It always puts me in a good mood when I watch it.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas– Jim Carrey (the Grinch) is up to no good in this one.
The Best Man Holiday– Even though this one was a little sad, there is some laughter too.
Black Nativity– Some life lessons and good singing in this one to lift your spirits.
Drop a note and share with us, what is your favorite Christmas movie? Don’t be shy
Happy Holidays and Happy shopping! The holiday shopping season is well underway. If you hit a snag and can’t think of a gift to buy for someone, look no further. These black owned businesses have interesting items for women and men. You can find clothing, home items, jewelry, and sleep wear. Check them out and you might find that perfect one-of-a-kind gift. These sites have items from basic everyday essentials to custom made apparels. You will find price points from affordable to expensive. Maybe you want to treat yourself to a Christmas gift. Take a look.
I know it is not always possible to have a quiet moment if you have small children. Just find a space and/or corner of the house to call your own. Make it your go-to place in those moments of stress. Call it whatever you want in order to recharge your mind. 
