Both men and women have lost in love at least once. Some are fortunate enough to have found their true love. I say true love because there is a difference in saying you love someone and showing it. Do you think men are more capable of love than women? It depends on who you ask and their experience with love.
In my opinion, I think women are more capable of love. The reason is because women are nurturers and mothers and as such, more accepting. I don’t believe that you can be accepting without love. You have to start with love in order to accept or nurture something or someone.
Don’t get me wrong, men are capable too. I have seen it. It does exist. We must give them credit. I think the thing that holds some men back is feeling less masculine when showing their loving or nurturing side.
Can you answer this? Is a man or woman more capable of love? What do you think?
Where's my sugar?
Are you going to kiss me or what?
These circles are starting to make me dizzy
Besides, I don't have all day, she says.
He replies, Alright, don't get in a tizzy
She adds, we don't have to touch
Just put your lips on mine
Pucker up and lay it on me
Really, is that too much?
Shyly, he says, It's just that...I'm in a daze
The circles put me in a trance
Your eyes are so beautiful
I'm locked in a gaze
Impatiently, she replies, the circle of life is not infinite
Maybe we'll meet again but I have to go now
When we next see, I'll lay a kiss on you so good
You can't help but to take a bow
Written in response to Sadje's prompt #165, what do you see?
Where's My Sugar was first published on Inspirebyonika.com on December 21, 2022
Inside the shell of the human is complex. Humans are made up of more than just a shell. More than what you see on the outside. Beneath the skin, lies character, emotions, and the essence of a person. What we see is not always representative of what is inside. Some people are good at camouflaging their feelings. You would never know that something horrific was going on.
If something seems off about someone you know, stop for a minute to ask. Not to say, do an interogation but stop to check on that person. You can’t tell from the outside what people are going through. This time of year brings a lot of emotions and triggers for people. It is not always the happiest of times for everyone.
How to be there for someone
If you see someone going through a hard time, you want to help. The question is, “how do you help?”. It can be tricky when you worry about how the person may respond to your concern. Some people may take it as you being intrusive in their life, some may be offended that you said something, some may be relieved that their feelings are being seen by someone else.
When in doubt about how to help someone who is depressed, grieving, sad or just not themselves, here are some suggestions:
Listen, just let them talk and you listen. Sometimes they just want to be heard. Be that ear and/or shoulder to cry on.
Be there, let them know that you are there mentally and physically. It is therapeutic for some just to be in the presence of someone who cares. It brings comfort for them to not be alone.
Offer to help with everyday chores. If they need help with housework, or a meal or two. Maybe they have errands that they need help with. Make sure to keep your word with this and don’t offer anything you are not willing to actually do.
Don’t judge; it might seem like something small to you but it obviously feels different for them.
Offer resources like any local places, online sites, or phone numbers where they can connect with someone.
Unless you are a licensed professional, it is hard to tell what a person needs in order to feel better. It is difficult to see a friend or loved one going through something and not know what to do. Just use your best judgement and try your best to help.
Inside the shell of the human holds many things. This time of year can be extremely difficult for many people. Just be mindful of this and keep that in the forefront of your mind. Mental health is not something a lot of people want to discuss, but it is very important. Of course, take care of yourself first. Otherwise, you cannot be good for others if you, yourself are not good.
The first Friday in December is recognized as Farmer’s Day in Ghana. This day is to recognize the farming and fishing industries. Agriculture is an important part of this region of Africa. It is a week-long occasion marked by festivals and networking events. Not only is agriculture important in Ghana but also in other parts of the world. Bushfires in the early 80s led to food shortages. The destruction of crops is what prompted the government to get involved. Let us honor farmers and fishermen that bring us nutritious food. Agriculture provides a strong foundation for the well-being of everyone. Also, it has a great impact on the economy.
Happy Birthday Jay Z! He is an American Rapper married to recording artist Beyonce Knowles. His music career started with Reasonable Doubt in 1996. He is an example and an inspiration for anyone who aspires to change their life around. He started from humble beginnings in Brooklyn, NY and look at him now! ” What more can I say?”, from The Black Album.
Denzel Washington (Dec 28)
Happy Birthday Denzel Washington! Who doesn’t know Denzel? He is a talented actor with a long and successful career in movies and TV. He has such a presence about him in his roles on the screen. It doesn’t hurt that he is easy on the eyes. He is the first African American actor to win two Academy Awards.
“Goals on the road to achievement cannot be achieved without discipline and consistency.” – Denzel Washington
The jury is still out on this one. I found that National Re-gifting day occurs on the third Thursday in December, which would be the 15th. Also, I have found some sources say it falls on the Thursday right before Christmas, which would be the 22nd. There is an actual day set aside for this, who knew? I learn something new all the time. Anyway, I asked the question about a month ago; What is your take on re-gifting? Not a lot of people expressed their opinion on the subject. I suspect, it may be out of fear of being judged by others. National Re-gifting day is a chance to recycle or re-use some items that may not otherwise get to be enjoyed by someone.
December 21 is National Coquito Day. Coquito is a Puerto Rican holiday drink. You will not find two coquito recipes that are alike. It is the island’s version of eggnog. Rum, cream of coconut and condensed milk are the main ingredients. This drink is guaranteed to get you in the holiday spirit. Please enjoy in small quantities, as this is a potent holiday concoction. Small sips only, don’t get a big mug or glass and think you are going to get up and walk afterwards ;-)Not only can you enjoy this with family and friends but also Coquito can be given as a gift.
National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month
Don’t Drink, Drug and Drive
December is National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention month. There are an increased number of impaired drivers on the road around the holiday season, Christmas, New Year’s Eve. The spike in accidents and deaths attributes to people thinking they are ok to drive after getting together for parties and celebrating with libations. Although, there is nothing wrong with enjoying alcoholic beverages, do it in a responsible way. If you are out and know you have had one too many, take a taxi, Uber or have someone else drive you. If you are in walking distance, walk home. Have a designated driver. Getting behind the wheel after drinking and drugging has proven to be fatal, time and time again. Give everyone the chance to live life and have fun by not driving while impaired.
The day Jesus Christ was born, also known as Christmas. Christmas is celebrated in many ways. For those who do observe this day, it holds a special significance. Some people go to church, some families gather around the Christmas tree and exchange gifts. Christmas dinner is also a tradition on this day. The country has strayed a little from the religious aspect of December 25th and its meaning. This day has become very commercialized. Different countries have their own way of celebrating this holiday. One thing that is notable is all the decorations, inside homes and outside. Check out a local Christmas light display in your area. This is a very uplifting time of year, with the songs, lights, decorations, and gifts.
Kwanzaa (Dec 26-Jan 1)
Kwanzaa Image by RODNAE Productions on Pexels
Kwanzaa is an African American celebration. However, you don’t have to be African American to take part in the festivities. Children are very much a part of this celebration. Even though gifts are given during Kwanzaa it is primarily based on the seven principles. Purpose, creativity, economics, unity, faith, self-determination and responsibility. Each day a candle is lit and families talk about one of the seven principles. Every principle has a corresponding symbolic gift which consist of ears of corn, a mat made of straw, a communal cup which stands for unity, fruits and veggies. Some people don traditional African clothing during Kwanzaa. On New Year’s Eve, Dec 31 a communal feast called karamu is held.
What is your favorite Christmas movie? The holiday season is here. During this time of year, there are a ton of holiday movies playing. You can watch an animated version, a Christmas comedy, a romance or the regular kind. A few titles come to mind when I think about some of my favorites.
Home Alone– Kevin gets into all kinds of things when he gets left behind by the family. He comes up with some clever plots to stop would-be burglars who think the house is empty.
This Christmas– This Christmas is a movie about more than the holidays. It is about family, love, and life. I’m sure most of us can relate to at least one character in this movie. There is some good music in this one too.
A Charlie Brown Christmas– This one is a classic, if you like the Peanuts gang! It always puts me in a good mood when I watch it.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas– Jim Carrey (the Grinch) is up to no good in this one.
The Best Man Holiday– Even though this one was a little sad, there is some laughter too.
Black Nativity– Some life lessons and good singing in this one to lift your spirits.
Drop a note and share with us, what is your favorite Christmas movie? Don’t be shy 🙂
Can You Answer This? Why Are You Thankful?What are you giving thanks for? We have all heard the saying, this is the season for giving. But I pose the question, what are you giving thanks for? Some of us are thankful to have our health and some are thankful to have their pockets full of cash. Material things are nice to have too but they cannot give you a hug or a kiss. You can’t confide in a new car or electronic device. You can’t cry on the shoulder of a new pair of shoes or other clothing items. You get where I’m going with this.
Giving is such a great feeling and it benefits both the giver and the receiver. As the human race, we all have different paths to walk in life, so there are different things that affect us. The thing to remember is that we only get one chance to do this. We don’t get a do-over. So, I ask again; what are you giving thanks for? Personally, I am thankful for the people in my life. Both near and far. So, be it a roof over your head, a job/career, a car to get back and forth, children, spouse, family. Nothing is too small to measure.
Movie Time- Guess the Line, Pt. 1 – Image by Jan Alexander on Pixabay
Movie Time- Guess the Line- Pt. 1
I’m going to describe a scene from a movie and give a few hints. Can you guess the movie title and/or who the actors are? I will update the post with the answer next week. Put your movie skills to the test. Have fun!
A cute, little lady gets off the train. She turns around and says to a man, “If you are a real prince, I’ll marry you”.
Movie came out in the late 80s/early 90s
Romantic Comedy
The sequel came out in 2021
—Answer—
Coming To America is the answer. The movie starred Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, Shari Headley and a host of other actors and actresses. The cute, little lady who gets off the train is Birdie M. Hale.
Thank you for guessing and I’ll be back with another movie.
Relationships need communication. I know, I know how many times do we hear this? A lot. Even though we often hear how important communication is, how often are we actually doing it? In order to keep our relationship healthy and keep communication open, we have to talk to each other. We cannot assume our husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other knows what we are thinking or how we feel. Do not expect your partner to work a miracle by whipping out the crystal ball to enter the depths of your brain. It is not going to happen. If you keep feelings inside and do not speak up for yourself, you will never get what you want in life. You have to advocate for yourself; if you don’t who will?
In a relationship, it is important to talk about the everyday things as well as the deeper issues. Every relationship will have its ups and downs. The best way to work through any problem is to talk. It won’t be easy all the time, but the important thing is that you hear each other. Not saying that you will always agree, but at least listen to each other. Obviously, you value this person, so at least take the time to listen to the other’s point of view. When you love and care for someone, you will want to give that extra attention.
When an issue comes up and you feel a certain way about it; speak on it. I know that everyone is not easy to talk to, but this is where you will have to be creative and find the best way to approach the situation. If you already know that a frying pan will be coming across the side of your head, obviously you want to talk in a public place. Do not attempt a difficult conversation at home when it’s just the two of you. This is, of course an extreme example.
Relationships=Affection
Affection comes in more than one form. It can be physical, spoken or by way of deeds. We are human and we all need love. If you are a tactile person; meaning you like the physical touch and are hands on, naturally you will be more prone to the physical form of affection. You may prefer to hold hands in public or at home while watching a movie. You may like to hug a lot. Maybe you like to kiss. Also, sex may be your primary form of affection. Let your partner know what you like. If you don’t, you may start to feel neglected when you don’t get those hugs or kisses, you might feel that your partner doesn’t love you.
On the other side of that, you may not be a touchy-feely person or affectionate at all. You might not like holding hands or being touched all the time. You may not enjoy the embrace of a hug. Whatever your style of affection, make it known to your partner. This goes back to communication. If you are not affectionate but your partner always wants to hug, you might feel smothered. We use affection as a way to show our love and attraction to our partner. Be it a physical or mental attraction. Often, it’s both physical and mental.
Affection can also be spoken. You can show your affection by giving your partner a compliment. Also, by being supportive of your partner’s successes and accomplishments are another way to show affection. Celebrating your partner’s wins, no matter how big or small. You may think the other person doesn’t notice or appreciate but it goes a long way.
Relationships come with some level of responsibility. Our actions can make or break a relationship. That’s why we have to come with some “act right”. If we own up to our …ISH and admit when we are wrong or may have made a misstep. it makes things a lot easier. We have to know that our relationship will only grow when we are making positive moves and treating our partner with respect. On the other hand, when we are not being respectful, we have to know that it will definitely cause static. Static that we might not be able to fix.
There is no such thing as a perfect person so there will be no perfect relationship. Taking responsibility for being respectful and trustworthy only adds to the value of the relationship. It makes the union last longer and more enjoyable for both parties involved. Take pride in knowing that you can hear the smile of your partner on the other end of the phone because they feel valued. Take pride in knowing that your partner wants to see you after a long day at work. The reasons are because you make your partner feel that you are present and you care and love them.
Being responsible means that you understand how to conduct yourself in a way that doesn’t offend your partner. If you are in the streets a lot and do not spend time together, that is not cool. There has to be a balance.
Relationships=Effort
Effort must be applied in a relationship or it will not stand a chance. Not saying that all relationships will be successful but you have to put some work in. Just like you show up for your job to ensure you get paid. Think of your relationship the same way. Put that work in! Put the conscious effort into your relationship like you would your job, but only the relationship is more fun and rewarding.
You know you are in a healthy relationship when you look forward to seeing your partner. When they call you, they can hear you smiling on the other end of the phone. You get excited to go home to your partner. If this is not the case for you just ask yourself, what can I do to make things better? What is missing in the relationship? One way to find out is to ask your partner. Maybe talk to someone you trust who may be able to give some good advice.
The one thing you don’t want to happen is to take each other for granted. Don’t just go through the motions. Put the electronics down and engage each other. Step away from the TV. Go for a walk together. Ladies dust off the lingerie. Fellas put on some cologne. Romance each other. Don’t be lazy with the sex. Your partner is not going to dig into their bag of tricks when you are not putting in effort.
Keep the Spice Going
Think back to when you first met and plan something that you both liked to do in the early stages of the relationship.
Go on a date night, maybe where you had your first date. If not the first date, then someplace different from where you usually go.
Tell your partner you love them.
Surprise your partner with a “thinking of you” card and write something in it. Yes, I said a greeting card from the store. And, yes, write something nice in your own writing. Be genuine with your words. (Don’t send a text, I see you :-))
Do something nice for your partner. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. Give him/her a foot rub or body massage.
Cook a romantic meal complete with music, candles and lighting. You know what to do.
Just think back to what attracted you to your partner in the first place and go from there.
Surprise your partner with a gift, just because.
Take care of your relationship and it will take care of you.
