Just a quick note to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! The year 2021 is coming to an end and it went by so fast! This time of year brings some nostalgia with all the shopping, gifts, get-togethers and festive events. Let’s not forget the good food.
Things have been a little different with Covid-19 and it has put some of those get-togethers and events on hold. Even still, being with loved ones; family, significant others, and friends is still very important. Let us not forget our fur babies too.
If you have not spoken to someone for a long time, reach out. Call, text, email. We never know how long we will be here on earth. If someone has been on your mind a lot lately but you are afraid to call or see them, just do it. It might change your life in a good way. Even if it doesn’t at least you will not go on wondering; what if. At least you tried.
The year 2022 will bring new adventures and some challenges. We will embrace and welcome the adventures. We can face those challenges head on with a smile and confidence.
Whatever your holiday traditions are I wish everyone the best. Have a good time and enjoy friends, family and good food. Be safe and I wish everyone a prosperous and healthy new year.
Teaching our children the value of money is about providing the tools they will need as they grow up. One of the basic things we know about money is that it does not grow on trees. Kids don’t think about that when they want something. All they know is gimme, gimme, gimme while they have their hand out. As parents, we have seen this all too many times. It is up to us as parents to educate our children about the value of money.
A conversation needs to happen with our children so they know and learn about financial responsibility. I don’t mean we need to sit down and go over the bank ledger or spreadsheet of all the household monthly bills. After all, they are kids, they are not interested in this. But, they do need to know the basics. I must confess that I did not do this with my child. Looking back, I wish I had. That doesn’t mean it is too late for some of you.
A simple way to do this is when we are shopping at the grocery or department store. If they see something that is not in the budget or on the list, they want it right? Well, that is when we have to first, learn to say no. We have to let them know that everything on the shelf is not for the taking. Maybe today they cannot have that shirt or snack but the next time; maybe.
Secondly, we must also let them know not to spend everything they have, just because they have it. Save some money for a rainy day. Just because you have $150 does not mean that you should spend it all. Save a portion of this so that you will always have something in your pocket.
Ways to teach children about money
GET A PIGGY BANK
A piggy bank is a good start depending on the age of the child. But, for an older child they may want to use something else. A shoe box, canister, or an envelope. Anything they feel comfortable stashing their money in, let them choose. Encourage them to count their money at least once a week. This will build excitement and they can see how much their money is growing. Let them know also, that not everyone needs to know where their money is or how much they have.
GIVE AN ALLOWANCE
An allowance does 2 things. The first thing is that it teaches the child responsibility. They know in order to get their allowance they have to do something, like chores around the house. They are not just being given money. Secondly, it gives them a sense a pride to know that the money they are getting is because they worked for it. Anything they use the money for will be more meaningful to them.
TAKE YOUR CHILD TO THE BANK
Going to the bank lets them see how bank transactions work. This way they will know how to make a deposit and/or withdrawal. I know this sounds simple but there are some out there who do not know how to complete a bank transaction. Alternatively, you can open a bank account in your child’s name and show them how to balance their account.
LET THEM SHOP WITH THEIR MONEY
When making a purchase, let them use the money that they have saved. When they realize that they are using the money they earned, they might be a little more selective about how much they spend and on what they spend their money. It may give them a healthier overall attitude about spending. When they learn that Mom and Dad are not just going to buy something for them, they will cherish the item more and be smarter about what they buy.
EMPHASIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF PAYING WITH CASH
Instead of credit cards pay in cash. I know you are thinking, kids don’t have credit cards. Well…some do but that is for another discussion. This is just something to mention to them in their early life, to prepare them for later. Hopefully, they will remember this lesson. When paying with cash you can only spend up to the amount that you have on hand. You cannot overspend for something that you know may be overpriced. Also teach them to comparison shop. At the grocery store have them compare the same or similar products and not just grab the first one they see. Most times, the more expensive products will be at eye level and the easiest to find. This is what the retail giants want us to do as consumers.
Do’s
Do encourage paying with cash- this helps to prevent overspending
Do take care of personal belongings- taking special care and pride will make things last longer and keep them looking newer longer. You never know when/if you will get another
Do shop around for the best price- always check other options available for the item you are looking for
Do stress the importance of counting change after each transaction before leaving the counter
Don’t just buy the first item you see on the shelf-Compare prices or look for sale items
Don’t spend all the money you have- Save a portion and spend wisely
Don’t be careless with your things. Put things away in their proper place so that it does not get damaged
Don’t loan an amount of money that you cannot afford to give away- We don’t always get paid back the money we lend; so be sure what you lend you can afford and not be adversely affected if you don’t get the money back
So, what do we know? We know that money does not grow on trees, someone has to work to bring that money into the home. Children need to learn this. I’m not saying to never, ever again buy anything for them. All I am saying is to help them understand the value in what they receive.
Kids also need to know that when they are being given something, to take care of it. Don’t treat it like tomorrow they can just get another one. When we see them taking pride in receiving then we are more inclined to give a little more. If a child demonstrates that they appreciate what they have by being responsible with it and taking care of it, this is always a good thing.
Another thing they should be taught is that money is not always about spending. Keep some in your pocket. We are not trying to keep up with the Joneses. Just because your friend down the street bought something new, so what!! You mind your own pocket. That new pair of shoes or new video game will be out of style soon. Keep your pocket full. Keep your pocket full.
What is something that you were once afraid of but are not scared of now?
This can be a fear of spiders or a fear of flying, or maybe you are afraid of heights. Some people are afraid of clowns. Anything that comes to mind that you have overcome. It can be something funny or something serious. Anything you would like to share. Please tell us how you overcame this fear. It might help someone else out there who is experiencing the same thing.
I will start off with… (but don’t laugh)
Michael Myers from Halloween. I was traumatized as a child! You hear me; TRAUMATIZED by Michael Myers when this movie first came out. (I see you laughing).
It took me years, but I realized that this is a fictional character. He is not hiding in my closet or standing behind the curtain. I forced myself to watch him in the Halloween movies, even though I was terrified! The scariest thing about him was the mask and the music from the movie.
Now, I love Michael Myers. He is my favorite scary movie character 😉
So, let’s talk about self-esteem and why it’s important. Self-esteem is how you see yourself. You are worthy and you know how to put a value on the person that you are. Self-esteem is very important because it is going to guide you in life, it drives your decisions. It is very important because with it, no one can try to make you feel small; well, they can try. Ultimately, you know that you are worthy and that is enough. Without it, you might think it is ok for someone to treat you badly.
I don’t want anyone to lose sight of their self-worth because that is something that no one can give you. It is something that you have to search within yourself to bring out. Realize your potential because without self-esteem things can go in a totally opposite direction and we don’t want that! We want to keep it positive! We want to keep ourselves uplifted! Unfortunately, even when you are minding your own business, at some point trouble will find you. So, it’s best to power up your self-esteem, I’m talking about positive self-esteem. Once you fully believe it you tell yourself; yes, I’m worthy of respect, love, and I deserve to be treated well. Once you tell yourself these things you will have a brighter outlook and the confidence to move ahead.
It is not enough to just think these things you need to speak it out loud. I mean to affirm these things when you’re alone or in trusted company. First, you have to think it, believe it and know it. Secondly, say it out loud. Vocalizing it gives you power. Lifting yourself up and speaking positive things about yourself is very helpful. Highlight some physical attributes. Say, I’m beautiful, I have a beautiful smile, I have beautiful eyes, I have nice legs, I have a beautiful personality or I’m a good friend. Affirm the things that you know you possess, whether it is a characteristic or something physical.
Self-esteem gives you empowerment. It gives you confidence. You will be invincible in the way that if someone makes a certain comment about you, it’s not going to ruin your day. Certain comments are not going to bring you down and turn your bright outlook into something negative There are people who will try to insult others, just so that they can feel better about themselves.
Remember that someone else’s opinion of you doesn’t validate who you are. Everyone has their own opinion and that’s OK. We are not going to be liked by everyone we encounter, it’s perfectly fine. The reason it is fine is because the people who belong in our lives are the ones who will stick around. They are going to be in our lives for more than a season.
Scenarios
If someone approaches you with an off the wall comment. It’s best to walk away or just kill them with kindness. Kill them with kindness. Even though your first instinct may be to punch them in the face. Come back with something nice about them. That’s all you have to do. Because they are not going to expect that. They will not know how to react. This will throw them off. You don’t even have to stick around to see their reaction just walk away. Another tactic is to ignore them, tune them out. OK, that is a skill that I have mastered myself.
There are bullies out there, both children and adults. The ones who never have a nice word to say about anyone. More times than not its because they feel inadequate about themselves. Don’t let them reign their negativity on you and ruin your day. Self-esteem prepares you and you exude confidence with your body language. Stand tall and hold your head up.
If you walk around with slumped posture and looking down, this is no good. People can pick up on that energy and then you become a target. You may be perceived as weak. Because you are showing that you are in a down mood people will prey on you. Even if you are in a down mood, do not let this show! It is especially necessary on these days that you may not feel so sure of yourself, that you show up and show out! Let the world know that you are ready and unstoppable. Walk with purpose!
With self-esteem you will not question when someone is nice to you. Everyone doesn’t have a hidden agenda. Everyone is not out to get you. Without self-esteem you question certain things. You think to yourself; why are they being nice to me? And I say, well, why not you? Of course, you deserve to be treated nicely, you deserve to receive love, you deserve respect. On the other hand, we have instincts or intuition so don’t let your guard down with everyone. We all know better than this. What I am saying is that when certain things happen to you that are good, embrace it, receive it. Don’t block your blessings!
The same exact thing can happen to me and my friend but it may take me two weeks to get out of it, it may take her three days. It’s different for everyone so we can’t measure our own healing or grieving process against others. What I’m saying is we have to move on, we have to get out of that at some point. We cannot stay in that state of feeling like we’re not deserving of certain things because it’s just simply not true.
Self-esteem helps us deal with people and/or relationships. You may have a toxic personality in your life and especially if it is someone who’s close to you, those may be the hardest ones to disengage from. Sometimes, you have to cut people off just to let them know that they are not going to speak to you any kind of way, they cannot treat you any kind of way. They may have been around for a while but you just have to do it. It is not going to be easy but it is necessary. If for nothing else, your own sanity, your own self-esteem and respect.
Walk In Your Power
Just know that self-esteem matters. Tell yourself that you are a good person, you deserve respect, you deserve kindness. If someone has drilled it in your head that you are anything less than magnificent, don’t believe it. Be brave enough to showcase that. It’s one thing if this starts in your childhood because when you are a child everything soaks in like a sponge. Children are impressionable. As you grow to be an adult you know the difference. The minute you assert yourself people will look at you like; who is this, is this really you, did you just say, that, did you just do that. It only takes one time to make a believer out of them. Don’t be afraid!
The pandemic has changed our lives in so many ways. People are going through so much. Some people have lost their jobs, they are being displaced from their homes, schools are closed, etc. Therefore, parents can’t go back to work because they don’t have childcare. There is a lot of domestic violence happening as well because families are stuck together every day. with mounting pressures. Food is expensive, housing is expensive and it’s not the easiest time to navigate, it’s not as easy to bounce back right now. This is a time of low morale for some. It is important that we walk in our power. Go and be around a person or people who are always upbeat. They always have a kind word; call that person up, text that person.
Lastly, please do not mistake self-esteem for arrogance, egotism and conceit. Having a high regard for yourself is not the same as having an inflated sense of self.
So, do you see why having self-esteem is important?
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You ask, “what is inner peace”? It is your state of calm, your state of peace for yourself. Inner peace is like calm, serenity, tranquility, etc. It is something that is meant to be cherished and it is also different for everyone. Think of it as your coat of armor or your shield. Once you find inner peace you are already prepared and equipped to deal with any negative and/or stressful situation that may arise.
With the holidays approaching and all the other life stressors finding that positive head space is important. This time of year for a lot of people is busy, busy, busy. Having a way to take a quick break when you feel overwhelmed is important.
How do you find your calm?
You may find inner peace by listening to music. You might find it by doing Yoga. Maybe you can find your inner artist and try sketching or drawing. Everyone has something or some way of finding their own inner peace, serenity or calm. It has to be something that is fun and brings a smile to your face.
No one can achieve this for you. Looking within is the key to this. So, finding inner peace is something that must be deliberate. Otherwise, we fall victim to other people’s drama. When we let people suck us in with negativity and drama, it can cause internal conflict. It causes stress and this is no good for anyone. With stress comes other things down the road like diabetes, hypertension, etc., etc.
Achieving inner peace means to do whatever it is that brings you calm when you need it. Remember, do not look to others for your state of serenity and calm.
For instance; if you are at work and you have a coworker(s) coming to your office and spreading gossip. You know that gossip is nothing good and you don’t want to participate. What do you do? You can politely say something like; I am really busy and I need to finish my work now. Walk away. Go to that place in your mind that allows you to destress and dismiss the negativity going on around you. If you need to just go somewhere and be alone. Do it!! It will be the best thing you can do for yourself.
I achieve my inner peace by going for a walk when I feel stressed or if I feel negative emotions creeping in. Additionally, I listen to music, with headphones on. Using headphones makes the sound a lot more clear and prominent. Sometimes, I picture a place that I have been to where I felt at peace. These are just a few ways that I find my inner peace.
Suggestions to finding your tranquility
A few ideas to get you started are:
Watching your favorite movie/TV show- get in a good head space, watch something that makes you laugh or something that lifts your mood
Go for a drive- Get in your car and roll the windows down. Let the fresh air in and sing at the top of your lungs. Make sure to lock your car doors though. Be aware of your surroundings, very aware.
Having your favorite dessert- Ice cream, cake or your favorite fruit. Anything that will cheer you up. Ok now… I don’t mean eat a whole family size bag of chips or the entire carton of ice cream.
Meditation- Saying a mantra or sitting with eyes closed in a quiet place. This can include deep breathing too.
Exercise- Get on the treadmill, elliptical or lift some weights. Whatever will get the blood flowing and release those endorphins. Dancing is fun and is a great way to exercise.
Walking/jogging- If you are in good shape and are a jogger, go for it! I don’t mean me in this case, lol. The fresh air and green grass does wonders for the senses. If jogging is not your thing, walking is always great too.
Listening to music- play your favorite songs and sing out loud. This is a great way to bring some peace of mind to certain situations.
Looking for inner peace
In conclusion, finding your calm and inner peace is very important. With the things happening in the world today, we need this. Let me say again; we need this! I hope that I have helped you find ways to your peace and tranquility. I would love to hear from you to find out what method(s) work for you. Feel free to comment by clicking the comment button at the top of the post.
Diversity means so many different things to different people. It could relate to gender, race, music, food, people or any number of things. When I think of diversity it brings to mind my childhood. I grew up in a very culturally diverse neighborhood. Living in close proximity, going to school and having friends of different cultures and races has afforded me a greater appreciation for people and life in general.
Imagine living in a place where there are people who are from Africa, Puerto Rico, Greece, Haiti, India, Poland, and a host of other places; you learn a lot. It taught me that even though someone is not the same as me, we can still be friends and live in the same neighborhood. Just because someone does not look like me, dress like me and they don’t have the same beliefs does not make them less than. Despite our cultural differences, we still have some things in common. If we just took the time to get to know people from other cultures we begin to see a lot of things that we may not have known.
We open many doors when we see things from another person’s point of view. Most of us can say that we are a product of our environment. We learn what we see and hear in our everyday surroundings. If you dare to go outside of that, people think that you have sold out and are not down.
In my opinion, diversity means acceptance and understanding. When we accept that everyone is different we have a better understanding of how the world works. Today I focused on diversity as it relates to people. I will explore other types of diversity in a later post. I challenge you to learn something new about a different ethnic group or person.
